A tribute to dads by Bill Maher

As you all know, this Sunday is Father's Day, and in all these times of touchy feely baby boomer parents who take pride in being friends with their kids, it is only right that we pay tribute to the cold, judgmental fathers of the 50's and 60's. These are the "because I said so" dads. The "this is not a democracy", and "stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about "dads. The dads who never changed a diaper or never pushed a stroller, but could fix either with a phillips head screwdriver. These dads didn't do a lot of asking of how you were feeling, and in that they taught us the most valuable lesson of all--It's not all about YOU, jr. But they were a long shot better than the feminized flops of today, who work hard all day so they can come home and kiss their kid's ass. Kids, let me tell you, if you dad goes out of his way to make you feel like an equal- like just another person who happens to be shorter, trust me, you are in trouble. Start with the therapy now! Compared to adults, you are stupider and inferior, and a good dad let's you know it! When I was a kid, you didn't even know what your dad did for a living, you just knew he worked a long, hard week and somehow earned the right not tohave to wear pants on Sunday. So, lets salute that dad. The one who fined me when I left a light on. The man who fell asleep in front of the TV, but then yelled from the bed up stairs to "turn it down" .So, touchy feely dads, the next time your kid wants you to drag his spoiled ass to Chuck E. Cheese for an "Everyone is a Winner" party, try a different tact, because he has got plenty of time, if you build some character in him, to become a real winner, but for now, tell him to get ya a beer!