And the number one reason is...

Top Tens... cuz they're necessary, ya know..

AJ's Top Five New Year's Resolutions

5. Remember to kick the ass of the RS writer that revealed my breakdowns.

4. Call Mr. McGuire about refilling the Viagra subscription. Don't forget to renew the Prozac subscription, also.

3. Don't visit Rio. EVER.

2. Beg for Amanda's forgiveness for the 8, 963, 110, 452, 682, 303, 560, 532, 356, 287, 431, 210, 057, 498, 800, 066, 434, 220, 000, 000, 004th time.

AND AJ's TOP NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION...

1. Raid Britney's closet for the sequined number. Payback Kev for wearing the skirt at MSB!

Top 10 "Mental Notes to Self" in Ash's Head

10. Mental Note to Self: Keep your hands to yourself when near stupid people. You will be tempted to strangle or bitch-slap them.

9. Mental Note to Self: Tranvesites are coo', bbut the 1910's drag queens are scary. Avoid video tapes that showcase them.

8. Mental Note to Self: Ask Spanish teacher if it's okay to murder the idiot next to you. Remember to use Spanish when doing the asking and the murdering.

7. Mental Note to Self: Remember to stop walking when the door doesn't open. You will break your nose.

6. Mental Note to Self: Do not hump AJ posters. Parents don't like bargin' in on that.

5. Mental Note to Self: Publish The Official 2001 Man-Bitches O' Ash calendar. Sell for $50.00 each and get rich off of their lovely naked bodies.

4. Mental Note to Self: Purple and gray do not match. Being half-asleep is not an excuse.

3. Mental Note to Self: Update once in a blue moon.

2. Mental Note to Self: Talk to Kate and finalize The Good Plan. Decide whose car we'll use to execute This Good Plan.

AND THE NUMBER ONE MENTAL NOTE TO SELF IN ASH'S HEAD...

1. Mental Note to Self: Bang Ozzie. Now. As of this moment.

Top 10 EOS Inside Jokes

10. Fernando

9. IT'S HOOGE, YO!!!!!

8. He RAPED AJ!!!

7. I'll hump his leg.

6. He's a friendly pimp...an uncle-type pimp. He's Uncle AJ. Uncle AJ the Friendly Pimp!

5. Good plan!

4. Lick up the nut juice, Nick! -Kat and Ash

3. I'll make Howie a man.

2. The story behind AJ's and Nick's "punishment"

AND THE NUMBER ONE EOS INSIDE JOKE...

1. Don't stub your toe!

Top Ten Places Ash Will Meet AJ

10. Ash's streetcorner as she's waiting for a bus (he thinks she's a hooker)

9. In a hotel elevator

8. A whorehouse (thanks to Ash's bro for this)

7. On the street outside a bar as Ash and J puke their brains out

6. Backstage as I puke my brains out (another thanks to Ash's bro)

5. An Internet porn site chat (Ash's bro knows her well)

4. The porn section at a video store (Ash's bro knows her TOO well)

3. A bookstore as both buy the Kama Sutra

2. McDonald's (Ash's bro is kinda scary...)

AND THE NUMBER ONE PLACE ASH WILL MEET AJ AT...

1. A strip joint on Amateur Night

TOP TEN THINGS I WANNA SEE ON NICK...by Our Resident Nick Banger

10. Nothing

9. Me

8. Nothing

7. Me

6. Nothing

5. Me

4. Nothing

3. Me

2. Nothing

And The Number One Thing I Wanna See On Nick Is...

1. MEH!!!!!!

TOP TEN POTENTIAL CAREERS FOR AJ MCLEAN

10. Crack Dealer

9. Hair Colorist

8. Sunglasses Model

7. Clothes Designer

6. Male Prostitute

5. Hat Model

4. Jobless, Homeless, spent his last money on crack

3. Tatoo Artist

2. Male Stripper

1. Full Time Pimp

Top 10 Sexiest Things About Kevin

10. His Eyebrows

9. His duck lips when he dances

8. Legs, baybeh. Legs.

7. That fucking FINE body

6. Can you say EYES?

5. The voice that makes me...uh..hi.

4. His Left Butt Cheek (lol Abbs)

3. Can you say blackspeedosandboners? Good.

2. He Has A Big Shlong [shlong=SHit it's LONG]

1. Wetsuit=yesplease!

Top 10 Reasons not to eat Blue Fun-Dip at 11:30 while watching SNL and looking at Seky BSB pics

10. Howie starts to look really good.

9.Suddenly, Brian has the biggest dick

8. AJ's afro begins to look normal

7. Kevin & AJ have contests over who's bigger

6. Howie seems somewhat sexy

5. Kevin's armpits seem to have more hair than his eyebrows.

4. Nick looks intelligent with a mouthfull of strawberries.

3. Howie moves from #6 to #5 on the favorite BSB list (don't ask)

2.Their boners seem more funny than sexy. And that is very bad

And the nuber one reason is....

You can't think of a #1 reason.

Top 10 Things I Would Kill To Say To Them

10. "Hey, Kevvy. No diggity."

9. "Nickolas, will you shake that juicy ass for me? I resign in Indiana."

8. "OPEN YOUR DAMN EYES, BRIAN!!!!"

7. "Damn, Howie! You've used more gel today than I have in my entire life!"

6. "Why use the floor when you can use me, J?"

5. "Why are you always so HAPPY, Kev? Do you want me to make you HAPPY?"

4. "Ha! I beat you, Nick."

3. "I'm a wicked sinner, Bri. Shall I confess my sins to you?"

2. "I bet you could kick the guys' asses, Howie."

AND THE NUMBER 1 THING I WOULD KILL TO SAY TO THEM...

1. "Guys, I have a confession to make...I'm naked underneath these clothes."

Top 7 Songs to Dedicate to AJ

7. "Bad to the Bone" by George Thorgood. AJ himself sang this, but this is so cliched...I like original better.

6. "The Thuggish Ruggish Bone" by Bone Thugs 'N Harmony. Another cliche.

5. "The Humpty Dance" by Digital Underground. Aww yeah.

4. "Superfreak" by Rick James. That's boy a super freak! *growl*

3. "Cowboy" by Kid Rock. Cause he's a cowboy, bay-bee...ride my saddle...

2. "Make Me Bad" by KoRn. Aww yeah. He can make me bad anyday. Word.

AND THE NUMBER ONE SONG TO DEDICATE TO AJ...

1. "The Thong Song" by Sisqo. What kind of thong DOES AJ wear? How much ya wanna bet it's leopard print? *pelvic thrust* Bend over, J, let's see that...whoops, uh...*blushing*...hi.

Top 10 Things I Would Bust A Left Nut To See

10. Kevin bends down ONE MORE TIME while wearing those chaps. No diggity. *pelvic thrust*

9. Nick dresses as a penguin for Halloween. *wheezing* Man...oh man...mental images...dear sweet Nicky would be just like the Bud Ice Penguin! Doobie doobie doo!

8. AJ/Johnny No-Name comes here to In-day. That would be super sweet. I would leave without my virginity. Let's just say that.

7. Brian opens his eyes while performing. Hallejulah!!! *bows down and does 70 Hail Marys*

6. Kevin walks over and punches Justin "JuJu Timber-crombie" Timberlake in his eye. *cue Dr. Evil laugh* MUWHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

5. Howie just all of a sudden looks around and goes, "Damn, I've said 'stuff like that' sixty-nine times in this interview!"

4. Nickolas shakes that FINE GHETTO ASS in my directon. Yeah, baby.

3. Kevin...dripping wet...no clothes...or even a Speedo...cause a Speedo can provide JUST WHAT I NEED.

2. Joey realizes that he has some vocal talent and leaves 'N Sync. I heard him sing on SNL and daaaaamn...what is he doing with those cracked-out assholes?

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING I WOULD BUST A LEFT NUT TO SEE...

1. AJ. Leopard print thong. *singing* Let me see that thong...*grinning cheekily*...

TOP FIVE THINGS THAT PISSED ME OFF ABOUT THE BSB NOT GETTING A GRAMMY

5. Sure, Santana's been around longer...but exactly HOW many of us had actually HEARD of them before this summer???

4. It makes the critics that diss them look good.

3. People who don't like them were probably laughing their asses off.

2. They deserved one. Touring ALL LAST YEAR DESERVES SOMETHING.

And the #1 Reason I'm Pissed...

1. It's absolutly retarded that they were nominated in 4 categories and got beat out by some two-bit scruds.

TOP TEN REASONS NSYNC WILL NEVER BE AS GOOD AS THE BSB

10. Joey's too busy picking up prostitutes to learn how to sing.

9. Justin's perm appointments take up too much time.

8. If Lance was any more girlish, he'd be George Michael.

7. One word: Chris...we're not gonna get into detail.

6. Most of their songs already sound like BSB songs anyways.

5. Justin's ebonics just confuse people.

4. Lance is too busy plucking his eyebrows and doing makeovers to sing.

3. Do you think any of them have bods that can compare to Kevin? I think not.

2. None of them sing as good as Brian. Plain and simple!

and the number 1 reason....

1. At least BSB's publicists don't have to worry about the oldest member breaking a hip onstage and/or having a dread fly out and poke someone in the eye. That could be a big lawsuit.

TOP TEN REASONS THE BSB NEED TO DO A PHOTO SHOOT IN THEIR UNDERWEAR..AND ONLY THAT...

10. So all the teenies will die of shock.

9. One word: Kevin.

8. Two words: Brian Topless.(first time since AFY!)

7. We’ll FINALLY get to see Nick without a shirt!

6. So Howard can prove he actually has, er, one...

5. Can you say CENTERFOLD?

4. Because AJ would be willing.

3. Maybe an idea for the new album cover?

2. Because I want it that way!!

and the number one reason…

1. So we can all die happy!!!!

TOP 10 REASONS THE SHOW ME THE MEANING VIDEO IS COOL....

10.The emotion Brian's face shows after the doctor takes off the oxygen mask...priceless.

9. AJ. In general. He just looks so lonely in that bus. And the tear... he really looks sad.

8. When Kevin walks into the bar(sounds like the beginning of a joke) Howie's at, Howie turns around, and Kevin is just like, there, and then he nods.

7. The MEANING behind the video...beautiful.

6. How you can never see the girl in Howie's scenes' face. She just keeps fading...

5. How they all are just walking down the road so seriously, and singing.

4. Brian's face during the "TELL ME WHY CAN'T I BE THERE WHERE YOU ARE?!" part...so full of emotion.

3. When AJ puts his hat on his heart after he gets off the bus.

2. The bus sign...Denniz St. Great touch.

1. How the first time we saw it... Blew us away. This should keep the critics off their high horse. Can't touch this video. 'N Sync WHO?