Caliga’s Preface: Request

A sadness weighed heavily in my heart that morning as I walked in silence down the long walkway of the street to her foreboding prison. The deities granted my wish of spending the last day before her trial with my dear friend and goodly companion, Sanctia. She committed some awful sin in the eyes of our deities, and they caught her up in their vengeance with the ferocity of over-zealous tyrants. This emotional burden filled me as water fills a cup, until it overflowed when I saw her limp and livid, from the deities’ wrath, in the pale light of the stone cell. Such pain I felt for the white creature that sat flaccidly before me in a tragic misrepresentation of her former self. It seems she heard my heavy sigh, because she did the pleasure of turning her face up to greet me. She slowly lifted her burdensome lids to reveal those ever-expressive and still startling blue eyes. I saw a sad blue sky with heavy gray clouds that bore her heart-ache across it, only to be dissipated in the great light of hope that shone like the sun in the microcosm through the window of her soul. This was my sweet one, my delicate and loving friend. Her pallid lips formed a sallow smile and even then in her beaten state, she glowed. She radiated a strong light of beauty and inner strength through the long fortified walls of her lofty heart. I could see how Volle Monde had wanted her.

She rose painfully from the small wooden chair, her restraints creaking under her labored movements and she walked towards me. The massive gray chains, that constricted her wings and that bound her arms and legs together, rang as they struck one another and clattered to the ground. The frail sound echoed through the small cage she was kept in and it built in force until it subsided when she stopped in front of me. “ Caliga, my Caliga. You came to me.” She was close now, and I could see the darkness around her delineative eyes. “ My dear, sweet Caliga, I’ve missed you so.” She reached through the bars with her small hand and touched my cheek.

I smiled down to her, giving the expression my best for her. “ Yes, I am here. I have stolen a day with you.” I pulled back from her reach and slid the key into the gate’s lock. She stared silently at me as I turned the key and opened the door for her, her cloudy gaze so unreadable and calculating that it mirrored my own demonstration of the expression. I held out my hand for her to take and relief swelled in me when her thin palm filled mine. I pulled her from the darkness of the cell and into the warm light of the outside world. Her white hair and pale skin made her gleam against the colored realm, as if she were a piece of an unfinished painting. She seemed out of place, yet complete and a figure so like a heroine in her purity and piety to justice and love. She could change the way you saw things, she could cleanse the area around her, made it bright and made it new in your eyes. Things glowed in her benevolent wake and took to life with a touch of her elegant hand.

“ How is it that you have stolen a day with me, Caliga?” she inquired of me, taking a vicious hold of my gaze with her own.

I smiled to her, as kind and gentle as I could, for I knew she liked that. She always complained of my silence, my eternal watchfulness. I think she wanted the comfort of voice, because of her hidden heartache. I do not understand how I could not see her lamenting earlier, but how clearly I see it now in her faded glances that brought the pain of a fresh wound to my spirit. “ I was your damn caretaker. They allowed me a day to say my good byes if they were to destroy you. Well fuck, I’d know anyway if they were to do so.” The smile escaped me and I fell into thought. How I would hate to see her ragged soul as I escorted her to those dark and gloomy gates.

“ Of course, Caliga. Death is all-knowing. But, I have this small favor to ask you. Will you appear as yourself, my friend, for me if I were to die? Would you do that?” She embraced my arm, and stared up at me in fear. My lips quivered at her pained pleading, and I could not help but nod. “ Thank you, Caliga. Thank you for agreeing to my wish.” I could tell her wish was not that I merely preserve my appearance for her if I took her to the realm of the dead. She was frightened of her trial. I clenched her hand in mine to cheer her, to take her mind off the doom that waited for her on the morrow. She clung to my arm tightly as we walked the narrow streets, her silence preceded her in thick balmy waves like the tell-tale signs of sweltering summer day. This palpable peace permeated the streets and stirred the acknowledgement of immortals who gazed down upon the unlikely pair that we made. The two of us passed them with out so much as glance at them in their towering houses of painted alabaster, until we reached my own humble home at the end of the small cul-de-sac. I opened the door in this hallowed silence, this protected staleness of air where the ample Sanctia could mull over the events of her less than blessed life.

I pulled her into the perfect gray house and I broke this fragile pact of unspoken thoughts. “ My dear, we are at my home. Please, sit. I have prepared you a damn fine meal.” I sounded stiff and uncaring and I could see the sorrow that it brought out of her. What could I do? It was my nature to hide my feelings, to be cold and unforgiving towards people, but I wanted so badly then to take it back and to love her as a friend should love her.

“ You speak to me now as if I were a stranger, Caliga. Surely, in your own home, you would grant me the mercy of your kindness.” She curled her small arms around me, clutching to me like a helpless child as if I were the All-father; as if my knowledge spanned wide enough to find her some salvation. “ You know that we do not eat. Why prepare a meal?” She asked, her voice muted by my heavy black robes, her face pressed so firmly into my chest that I could feel her shuddering breath.

“ Because, I want to talk with you. I want to be with you while I still have Time.” I felt suddenly as if I had taken this simple creature for granted. I felt that I had never acknowledged her for what she was: my dearest and only friend. A sorrow built in my heart as it had when I had approached her cell but minutes ago. “ But, never mind that. I want to give you a gift. So tell me, Sanctia, what is it you want from me?” Perhaps, I could, in this way, give her something she truly desired. I would make that desire my sacred charge and never falter until it was through. I had to give back. I had to make up for all the pain I had caused her; I had to make up for all the ways that I had wronged her.

She stared at me in her gracious way, her ambient verve saturated my heart and lured my evasive gaze to her. Her girlish lips formed a decadent smile, better than any feast known as a mortal or any unearthly diversion experienced as this being I am now. “ My Caliga, how charitable you are to a such ill-fated creature as I. But, I am lucky in this. I wanted to ask a favor of you anyway. My last favor that I will ever ask of you in this life.” She walked down the short hallway into my den, blessing the deep red carpets and furniture with her encompassing presence.

Her chained and robed figure fitted itself into the large cushioned chair by the fire place. She curled her sumptuously thin and white fingers to gesture for my presence and I followed her instruction, seating myself in the twin chair adjacent to hers. “ What is your wish then, Sanctia?” She seemed patient with my question, like the all-knowing Kronos that she was supposed represent, nothing was beyond her comprehension or her grasp because she knew already what was to happen. “Memories…” I saw her smile at my confusion, but the way she stared at me prompted me into silence. Her lips parted already and continued with the thought she had in her head. “How such supposedly fleeting things stay in the bowels of one’s mind is beyond me, Caliga. Why any being would want to retain thoughts of sorrow; thoughts of despair and suffering?” She paused to release a heavy and burdened sigh. “ I suppose that I am ill-equipped to comprehend it. But I, too, preserve those dark inclinations of recounting events that rise up from the past like a mythical creature from the deep to destroy the frigate of my fragile sanity and fading happiness. This is the reason for the long lament you have ahead you: my half immortal brain holds such allotted events, plotted so violently on my personal timeline.

“ I want to tell you a story Caliga, this is my great desire. So lean in close my dear one and find comfort in my failing voice. I want you to be able to feel my breath as I tell you. I want you to hear every word I say, because I want you to write this down and retell it for me. I want others to learn from my rebellious mistakes and to learn of the great tragedy that we immortals live in.”

I nodded slowly, agreeing to undertake this blessed task she had passed onto me. “ I give you my solemn word, Sanctia. I will do this for you.” I promised her, and I would carry out this last task even if I had to transcend time to give her, her wish. She nodded and leaned back in her chair and tapped her thin fingers together as she gathered her thoughts. I found myself staring at her and becoming peaceful: sedated. She raised her eyes to look at me, and we both smiled. We were made to befriend each other. Time and Death, together, locked in a dance, forever concealed and yet ever present. She continued this scrupulous stare for a few moments before licking her tiny lips and clearing her throat, readying herself for this great, long speech.

“ There are things that must be discussed before I tell you the full breadth of my tale, my dear Caliga. Many, many things. I think you should know them, because even though you are older than I, you do not possess the knowledge that Time and the deities themselves alone can reveal. I have a tale of the beginning for you. It comes from an old and dusty tome that I have collected from Link Sin herself, discretely borrowed from her massive vaults.” She gave a slight laugh at this, her voice wavered when committing those airy notes.

“ A long time ago, before the world was conceived, the Great Being, Father to us all, created thirteen lieutenants to command all life that were to inherit the earth. The first of which was Rabin Shardz, eldest of the lieutenants, great lord of darkness who ruled by himself and was well loved by the Great Parent. But, Rabin was lonely and sad in his eternal land of darkness. His sister, Lik Tamir was birthed into being and she became the bringer of light, lovely and radiant and pure. Her brother, however hated her for these reasons. He wanted to keep his blind sister from him always and retreated from her whenever her glorious form came to console him.

“ The creator saw this and decided to create a place, that would temper their harsh polarities. So he created Tiph Sie, the ruler of the vast seas. She was a tremulous force when provoked but usually a calm and kind woman whose mysterious thoughts were kept deep in the recesses of her mind. Tiph Sie was not enough however, though the lieutenants both enjoyed her cosmically dense water realm while they slept or rested from their arduous daily errands, but they simply could find no joy in the cold realm at their leisure. The Great Being saw this and despaired so he created a place for them to set their feet upon, an abundant and fertile land. The fourth lieutenant was created to rule this land and she was a motherly sort by the appropriate epithet, Halle Erba. It, however, was still as cold as the ocean and so he again created lieutenants, two this time. The heat, Branne Dherde and his twin Vindes Tarken, the wind, were created. Although Vindes could be seen without Branne, it was hardly the same for the other way around. Branne left his home rarely without his beloved brother Vindes.

“ Rabin Shardz, still lonely after all the great Parent had done to please him, took up Tiph Sie as his bride and produced Volle Monde, the moon and ruler of the night and its androgynous beauty. He was a dark and flirtatious man, deep of thought as his father but treacherous as his mother if the needs be. He is our master, Caliga; he is our most jealous and hateful master.” Sanctia’s heart lamented at the mentioning of her master; she flinched at his over-bearing name, every bit of pain evident in those beautiful blues. She shuddered as she moved on with the ancient story. “ But the Great Parent, seeing his strength, and loving him for his beauty, raised him to the rank of Lieutenant.” She paused at this and gathered her strength, as she trembled still at the memories: the beatings and the immediate tenderness afterward, and the horrid confusion that this caused her. I knew it already, she told me her problems with our master, his bewildering way of obsessing over his strong-willed slave.

“ Soon after the birth of our master, Branne Dherde was taken away by the radiance of Rabin’s blind sister, Lik Tamir and pursued her until she relented and became his wife. Their progeny Son Enlik, their radiant, blonde-haired son who became king of the day, bearer of the solar light and possessor of the sun. Volle Monde, as to be expected, was deeply jealous of his cousin, whom all loved and cherished. But, most unexpectedly, he also fell in love with his cousin. Beyond all hope and repair, he followed him, longing only to stay in the radiant presence of him but far enough away to save his dignity. For his thoughts, if revealed, would prove an abomination to his brethren.

“ The creator, so far satisfied with this new realm, began the creation our ancestors. These people were each bestowed with a gift from every lieutenant at the request of the Great Parent. Rabin Shardz gave to them the ability of thought, the capability of deep contemplation and scientific thinking. Lik Tamir gave them power over the realm around them, the mastery of the elements and the beasts that lived already in their earthly heaven as well as a conscience. Tiph Sie bestowed emotions upon them: hate, sadness, jealousy, happiness, and pity and a way to express them. Halle Erba contributed the knowledge of growing crops as well as the ability to procreate, just as these Lieutenants could. Branne Dherde gave to these early humans, the love of chase, the strength of conviction, and the power of ambition. Vindes Tarken gave them the love of adventure, dance and above all the ability of free will. Volle Monde gave the beings physical beauty and poetic expression. He, to purposely break their perfection, also gave the beings the love of the kill, a natural lust for their fellow kind, obsession and physical death. Son Enlik, the savior of man, stepped up to the great mixing pot and gave humankind an eternal spirit and love; the only two truly redeeming qualities of the race of men.

“ When these beings were made, four new Lieutenants were birthed with the creation. These four siblings were the only gods to directly be linked with the humans. First was Link Sin, the intellectual. She was tall and lanky, but possessed herself of a great and mighty presence: too powerful and logical to be fantasy. Her brother was Rekt Sin, an artist. He was full of expression, his mismatched hair always flowing and moving on its own with his eccentric gesticulations. He spoke prose, rhyming always in spiraling riddles as to make it difficult to ask of him anything if he did not want you to know the answer. The third born was Korpe, a true androgyn. It was beautiful and thin with a woman’s full lips and expressive eyes, yet owned no breasts or genitalia. It was strong and impressive yet could instantly seem so soft and fragile on its whim. The last of the quartet was the most important, Caliga. Haer Sel, the soul, the personification of eternity within the human realm. She was beauty: like crystal with iridescent skin and white flame for hair. I have only seen her once and that was when she watched my beatings in silence. Yet, I could see pain in her eyes. She never wanted the Great Shift to happen. But, of all these, the most important was to be born a few short years afterward. Glasge Vykt, balance, was created and became the final Lieutenant that was set into place. With this done, the Great Parent fell into a deep sleep. A sleep that he still has not awakened from to this day. He has no power to hear my prayers. But, one day, he will raise up from his heavenly bed and smite his corrupt commanders and the world will ascend from turmoil and war.

“ Peace. Think of it, Caliga. Peace! Justice shall be given in tenfold to those damned deities.” I watched her eyes light with her belief, but I could not bring myself to believe her. No matter how compelling and inspiring her baby blues appeared to me, I could muster no belief in her heart-filled words. No, justice will not come in this lifetime, or even the next. I had conjured this with my last conviction in religion. That the Great Parent, with all his glorious creations, had died.

We lost Order. We lost hope. And now, we were gyrating out of control and were soon to be flung against the wall without regret by the Great Parent’s centrifugal anti-thesis , Chaos and Destruction. I cursed her false hope, for it would come back to her unpleasantly in the end. She was to make herself a fucking martyr and I did not like it.


Not at all.