Confession to the Dead

The night moves quick
as an electric pulse to the brain
Her toes splay as her feet
beat against the ground
to a worn and tattered
drum of war

I move with her and
with grasping, clawing hands
she moves to grip their soul

Slate grey and flaking
An unfilled hole
unraveled wool
all of you and she
But, I don't care...
I love you...
I caress those gaping holes
I tease their congealed covers

I breathe air in your suffocating body
I peel the flesh
the muscles vibrate

Harsh and metallic
instruments insinuate illness
I sew our wounds together
and our blood mixes

Your heart pounds
The veins pulse
The talk to my fingers

Your life fills me
Your warmth seduces me

I still don't care
The sweetest thing
is you inside me
Coiling snake-like jaws
that snap and bite
at my arteries and veins
I hiss, but my blood boils
my body burns

More, it demands...more

The sweetest taste
is you inside me
Sharp steel strikes the bone
Spiteful cinder splinters
that shine like coins
Collectively conquer the corpus
No hate...only love and lust
Pure human imperfections
a cancer of the heart

Your heart slows
A pain of the soul blooms in me
My thirst is not yet subdued

More, it demands...more

I sigh...
your warmth fades
as a fog dies in the midday sun

How you clot and slip
through my fingers as all others have

All I've known are grains of sand
that rain down from my fingers
as a refuse from the faucet of the world
exposed as a malady
plaguing the weak like a coward

I still seek what life is left
I search
I dig deep with trowels
in the warm, disheveled
spring dirt that awaits the seeds

But...
Time never rests on spring
it skips the season always
over the summer and land
between autumn and winter
where your body lies
stiff and dim for me
to pluck like a dry weed
from my universe's garden

I hold you limp and livid
in my blessed arms
my hallowed arms

Like weak trees in winter,
your figure has frozen
in my fatal embrace
but oh...
I love the feel of it.

That brilliant light;
filled with ambiguity,
as a hot breath on me
like the morning wind
rising with the desert sun
full on my face
smoothing over me
with decadent fingers

I lay back in the tub
blackened by use and time
bedecked with stubborn rings
clinging like a babe to its sides
Soiled water flows
down the serpentine curve of my body

I bathe in you...

You, the black sheep
of my wayward flock,
I cared for you once
You lie sprawled out,
out on the ground
limbs tossled
wool tossled
in a puddle of life
that would be my veil
your body cold and wet
consumed by a sea of warmth

I am a child,
smashing my possesions
to save the appearance
of my collection
I've wronged you...
I stood in the wake
of your shattered pieces
I cruely let you suffer
Shamed...
as I slighted my hand
and slit you open
like an anestesized patient
under my skillful scapel
I grin at the pool of light
that gathers in your chest
and pressed my lips to you
and drank deep of your love

My eyes give up
a saline gift
I've known you
without knowing you
I've touched you
without moving you
I've taken your life
on a whim...a mere whisper
of your darkness

I'm forced down
on hands and knees
No, on bended knee
where I clasp my hands
over a rosary, a mala, a juzu
made of your teeth,
polished white and clean

A knife, dull with familiarity,
sinks into my chest,
such is your departure to me
Your bare and blistered feet
left imprints on the peel of my heart
and a greasy smear on my mind

I clutch my head
I have to drown
out this noise
I have to drive
nails into my head
to destroy, yes...destroy
those pained words

Stop the rhythem
I did no wrong
I only raised my crook
and pruned my flock

You were absorbed by darkness
I destroyed you to save you...

Icy hands grope my mind
searching the surface for a place to break
Icy tongues lap at its skin
to numb the wounds they made
I despair
I'm no heartless preditor
It is a wish, a prayer, a repentance
but like a fool...

Dominated by
your rising blood
The tub floods...

To my knees;
You were soiled
To my hips;
I still mourn you
To my waist;
Deserving, repentant
To my breasts;
Dirty hands, dirty deeds
To my chin;
Through the gateway
To my eyes;
Placate the guard with a sweet cake.
Over my head;
Past the point of no return.

These words resound
like chanting through a temple
Pious Pilate of a portentious palette
reciting spells they believe
Spells to coerce me to believe them
The words flirt with my conscience
and many times I was almost charmed
Many times they almost convinced
this zealous shepherd with their lies
Boldly I stand and deny the Inquisitors
thirsty for justice in their hunt
Their words make a trap
my feet almost slipped
The shepherd almost caught
by starved and hateful priests
with gleaming eyes and teeth

The salten sea poured
over the edge of the black tub
I am drowning...
drowning in a sea of inescapable deeds
an ocean of deathheads, with war markings
painted dully on the bone

They surround me
All of them ladden
with purity and darkness
and I, their claimer,
their black assassin,
their ruddy killer
do rust slowly away
in my salten sea

Only I will mourn you
when flesh turns to dust
a million years out when my memory
serves as your grave marker

"In loving memory"
Will I get the same ?