ERAP COMPLAINT LETTER
generated through Scott Pakin's automatic complaint-letter generator
I am writing on behalf of myself and a few of my friends to state that Pres. Erap Estrada's treatises have a distinctly indecent tone. I would like to start by discussing Erap's excuses, mainly because they scare me. The thing I'm the most frightened about is that Erap intends to create a new social class. Empty-headed clumsy airheads, dangerous crooks, and misguided wheeler-dealers will be given aristocratic status. The rest of us will be forced into serving as their cronies. Certainly, he has stated that obscurity, evasiveness, incomprehensibility, indirectness, and ambiguity are marks of depth and brilliance. One clear inference from that statement -- an inference that is never really disavowed -- is that people don't mind having their communities turned into war zones. Now that's just meddlesome.
I should note that I cannot believe how many actual, physical, breathing, thinking people have fallen for Erap's subterfuge. I'm entirely stunned. Ladies and gentlemen, it's irrelevant that my allegations are 100% true. Erap distrusts my information and arguments and will forever maintain his current opinions. His refrains share a number of characteristics. They burn our fair cities to the ground. They declare a national emergency, round up everyone who disagrees with him, and put them in concentration camps. And they make incorrect leaps of logic. Put together, these characteristics imply that if I try really, really hard, I can almost see why he would want to infringe upon our most important constitutional rights.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if we lived in a world without foul crotchety pests? The next time someone denies that it is neither possible nor desirable to ignore the issue of tribalism here, look that person right in the eye and reply, "So far, the response from Erap's camp has been tardy and equivocal." I was, however, going to forget about the whole thing when it suddenly occurred to me that when I first became aware of Erap's covert invasion into our thought processes, all I could think was how I've heard of dissolute things like stoicism and escapism. But I've also heard of things like nonviolence, higher moralities, and treating all beings as ends in and of themselves -- ideas which Erap's ignorant, unthinking, unctuous brain is too small to understand. As is so often the case, you might say, "After enduring a barrage of Erap's pathological claims, one normally experiences intense levels of stress, difficulty sleeping, and anxiety about one's physical safety as well as one's career." Fine, I agree. But this makes me fearful that I might someday find myself in the crosshairs of Erap's naive negligent offhand remarks. (To be honest, though, it wouldn't be the first time.) Let us now defy Pres. Erap Estrada, because in that is our only hope for the future.