Carnage Night Invitations

Prologue: Oh for abuse of fire! To show in these poor cards the might of nations, the wizards flame, the dragons roar, the very wrath of God, contained all within these walls, your pardon, all, and call your thought to make a legion for each spearman on the field, a raven'd horde for each fell beast. Let Kings, and Heroes, Wizards, Fiends, ride now here, now there, where but a baseboard painting shows their place. Summon up from early dreams the vile steeds of Hell to serve the sceptred Lich, and let fall a ruin as of a burning oak on dread command from sagely mutterings. So make of this poor stage a scene of battle fit to end the world, as we perform, and thus excuse the faults of this, our Play!

--with no apologies to Wm. Shakespeare

How many Ornithoptors does it take to change a light bulb?
None, but the light bulb never actually changes.

How many Purelaces are needed to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the existing light bulb becomes soft white.

How many Black Knights does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the light bulb will never turn on again.

How many Mana Batteries does it take to change a light bulb?
At least one that works, but you still have to change the
light bulb yourself.

How many Prodigal Sorcerers does it take to change a light bulb?
One, from a distance.  More, if they get close.

How many Clockwork Beasts does it take to change a light bulb?
One.  No, two.  No, three.  No....

How many Twiddles does it take to change a light bulb?
One.  One more to change it back.

CARNAGE NIGHT CANCELLED

Why, you ask?
Choose the correct answer from below:

1. Eric McColm has yet to dig out the cards from the avalanche of diapers that were on a really great sale.
2. Eric Rollins could not tear himself away from admiring the way he looks in a 10 gallon hat and shinny new cowboy boots in the mirror.
3. Brian has forgotten how to use a computer to check email - Berkeley drugs fun....
4. Linda wants to sleep
5. Brianna wants a few more practice games before joining the big leagues.
6. Paul's company has discovered the secret to time travel and has thus assigned him to a project that was due yesterday.
7. The entire valley has run out of chinese food.
8. Every one has forgotten the way to Los Gatos.
9. Card players are not fond of explosions going off in front in front of house and think that monday was not an isolated incident.
10. Eric R. has bonded so well with the texan life style that he will never leave - "just one more rack of baby back ribs!".
11. Brian is vacationing in another country.
12. Eric M. ran out of coffee.
13. Paul has sworn off games and legos.
14. Linda's dev server has crashed and has nothing better to do than write this email.
15. Brianna has decided that she wants to hang out with a younger crowd.
16. Can't let anyone in the house because it is barricaded with piles of baby clothes.