Here come the six words in the newspaper you might dread most: Free Trade Area of the Americas.
This phrase is cropping up more and more lately. And every time it does, I swear I can hear readers' heads falling smack into breakfast tables throughout South Florida.
I doubt that many of you are able to stay conscious long enough to learn what this free-trade thing is all about.
So I have taken plenty of No-Doz and plunged in to bring you up to speed.
Let's begin with a definition.
Also known by the sleep-inducing acronym FTAA, the free trade area is:
a) something to do with baseball's off-season,
b) a part of the airport where they sell duty-free liquor, perfume and cigarettes,
c) the cornerstone of President Bush's vision for trade in the Western Hemisphere.
The correct answer is "c." It's a quote from Office of the U.S. Trade Representative. As it suggests, FTAA is an effort to ease trade barriers among 34 countries -- every nation in the hemisphere except Cuba -- and the United States is a big supporter.
Ministers from these countries are scheduled to meet in Miami next month to see if they can make any progress on an agreement. Think NAFTA, but with 31 extra countries.
What goes on here can have life-or-death effects on countries such as Haiti, where a pact could bring relief to people on the brink of starving. Here in Florida, a drop in tariffs would upend the citrus industry.
Still, FTAA is hardly on most people's radar. But there's an impassioned minority that's so alarmed that the ministers will rig things in favor of corporations greedy for cheap labor, they're planning to travel here by the thousands, intent on all manner of noise-making, window-breaking, rock throwing and police taunting.
Such is the prediction of police forces throughout South Florida and a number of city councils and commissions, including Miami's and Boca Raton's.
They're looking at what happened in Seattle in 1999, when the World Trade Organization meeting engendered riots that trashed downtown to the tune of $2 million. At a similar summit in Cancún last month, a protesting Korean farmer fatally stabbed himself in the chest.
With that in mind, about 6,000 law-enforcement officials are expected to surround the FTAA meeting in Miami on Nov. 19-21.
Worried that some 100,000 protesters might show up -- 10,000 from Palm Beach County alone, according to local anti-free-trade groups -- Florida Highway Patrol troopers are undergoing riot training.
Miami is voting this week on an ordinance temporarily banning large placards and sticks used in making giant puppets. Dangers to police, officials say.
Along the same lines, the Boca Raton City Council is to vote next week whether to forbid water balloons, glass bottles and other potential weapons of minor destruction. The ban would last from Nov. 19-23, when the Republican Governors Association meets at the Boca Raton Resort & Club.
Boca is worried that the GOP governors will attract a spillover of FTAA crazies -- the anarchists, Luddites and extremists who comprise the most colorful of the anti-globalization crowd.
This sounds like overreaction. It's hard to picture Boca ever being the scene of riots, unless the parking valets suddenly go on strike.
FTAA's foes say free trade drains U.S. jobs while doing too little to help developing countries.
But freer trade "benefits consumers all over the world," said Jerry Haar, director of an inter-American business program at the University of Miami.
"Say you've got a single mother with three kids, holding down two jobs. She'll be thrilled and delighted, thanks to the removal of barriers, she can now be able to afford fruits and vegetables and manufactured goods of a high quality at a competitive price."
I have the feeling that all the critics are overstating the dangers of free trade, while glossing over the benefits to consumers. That's most of us. And we're not taking to the streets.
Howard Goodman's column is published Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday. He can be reached at hgoodman@sun-sentinel.com or 561-243-6638.
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