Taiwan English Marketing Genius

Listing funny translations of English in foreign countries is an easy way to get laughs. The author doesn't have to do any real work outside of presenting the bungled phrase in a manner most guffaw-effective (this could be a new word: "guffective"). Nury Vitachi (of the Far Eastern Economic Review and South China Morning Post) has made a career out of this. So, here is a page that will make me look funny off of other people's unwitting labors.

The Ubiquitous Scooter!

As anyone who has ever been to Taiwan can attest, scooters are everywhere! With such a deluge of a basically homogenous product on the market, how does an enterprising scooter brand make itself stand out? Why of course, slogans:

Man-boy: You'll enjoy it. A favorite of NAMBLA
Urban Trend: It reaches for the sky. Neither does civilization. I want to buy this scooter now.
Fuzzy Scooter: The name alone is enough.
Jog 50: The friendliest scooter on Earth. The little-known bastard child of Herbie the Love Bug.
Curio: The ultimate scooter. I guess there is no reason to look any further, then.
Movie 125: Your future depends on it. I am guessing this is the local mafia's product.
Cabin: With fashionable feeling. The engine is somehow tuned to the right vibration?
Party 100: Flying angel of elegant, nimble, and beautiful. Should one ride this to a 3-kegger or to the opera?
Dio: Shuttle in the city jengle, The new, speedy snail clan. I'm not, sure, what to make of this.
Hold Me: Enjoy the lovely satisfaction on the road. 2-stroke romance.
more coming...

There are no typos on this page, just too many "(sic)'s" for me to write separately.

Store Names

Cop Lingerie: Rather a niche market.
Expensive!: For the blatant show-off or the terminally stupid.
Danger Figure Spa: I prefer to cut a dashing figure, but this sounds kind of exciting, too.
Subconscious Restaurant: A good place to eat when you're pre-occupied with something else.
more coming...

Consumer Product Labels

I Want Beer: This appears to be the English name of this particular brand. I am not sure if it is a statement ("I want beer") or if it is actually the name, "I Want" brand beer.
Plump Weeny. Winsome Bear. Quality taste: This is stationery products. Plump Weeny is the brand name. Winsome Bear, which is actually a teddy bear, appears to be the mascot. Quality taste, I am assuming, refers to the product. But what tastes good? The bear or the weeny?
more coming...

As I put this page up now it is too short. Believe me, I will add bits as I come across them in the marketplace. For now, go to The Gallery of the Absurd for lots of funny products and marketing.

DISCLAIMER: This is not an attack on Taiwanese people. It is simply listing funny English usages. Lord knows I've made an ass of myself enough in Chinese because of imprecise usage.

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