* yes, this needs to be updated!!! :-p
My name is Erika! I'm 24 years of age and reside in Upstate New York (near the capital region). I'm involved with the most wonderful man ever (Christiaan) who lives in the Netherlands... but has plans to move here as soon as he can! I have 4 pets that I love with all my heart :) I have 3 cats (Vader, Smokey and Bandit-aka Baby) and one dog (a Shih-tzu) named Samuel-aka Sammy.
I have many hobbies and interests. One of my favorite is movie watching. I could go to the movies every night. Too bad I can't afford to do so :-p I love theatre - live plays. I love to act, myself, but haven't done so since high school. I enjoy television (old shows.. shows like Brady Bunch, the Cosby Show, Family Ties, etc)- the best shows ever created. I also love the Food Network. I love to cook and enjoy new recipes. Of course, I don't claim to be a GREAT cook (I'm decent). But I love it. Regardless of whether or not my food is edible. I also like to bake. I love Casino's (slots baby!).. and don't usually do too bad in them! (at least coming home with what I went with). I'm addicted to clothes. I'm addicted to shopping. I spend too much $$. I love music and normally have my radio on or my 1,000,000,000 MP3's. I love to read and write. I love to spend time with my friends and family (father, mother, two brothers aged 12 and 18).
So what is my main purpose of this website? I'm fat. I've always been fat. When I first started my weight loss journey someone asked me if it would be motivating to place a 'thin' picture of me on the fridge so I could remember what I was working towards. Hahahaha!! If I had a thin picture of me I'd be very blessed. Alas, I don't. I've never been thin. I was even BORN big. I was a very chubby child, I was in the 200's when I was in school (at just 5'2" that's pretty large for a teenager.. or anyone) - and hit rock bottom at 215 pounds when I was in my first year of college. I maintained that 215 (215.5 actually) for 4 whole years (I guess that's better than gaining 50 more).
And then February 3rd, 2003 came along. I was getting dressed for the day and one of my favorite shirts seemed to be fitting strangely - sort of clinging to all of my fat and rolls. I looked in the mirror and I burst into tears. Even though I had been this particular weight for 4 years, I didn't recognize myself. I was disgusted. None of my clothes were fitting. When I went shopping for new ones I left stores in frustration and anger because I would try on 15 pairs of pants and none of them fit. I had to go into "fat" stores and buy clothes that hid my rolls and fat.. instead of going into the stores I always longed to go into (Old Navy, Gap).
I had no self esteem. I felt like everyone was staring at me when I walked into a room. I had no confidence to talk with men. I felt very uncomfortable in the "social" setting with people - I felt shy and nervous. I felt like I didn't fit in.
And that day.. February 3rd of 2003.. I hit rock bottom. I had tried dieting 4 previous times in my life.. ever since I was about 13 years old. Numerous times in high school. Most of these diets lasted me 3 or 4 days before I felt extremely deprived of food (I was eating apples and oranges all day, no wonder I was hungry) and I binged and never looked back.
Then I got what was termed as THE "click". THE time. I looked in the mirror.. and KNEW, I just knew. There was nothing more I wanted in life than to be thin. NOTHING. I got so excited that day, I was so motivated and focused. I was SO determined and this WOULD be the last and final time I tried to lose weight. First I needed to realize that I wasn't going on a diet. I was changing my life.
That day I went down into my basement and went fishing around for my old Weight Watchers books (I had done WW years ago). I found them! And knew this is what I wanted to do. On Weight Watchers I wouldn't feel deprived. I could eat all of my favorite foods.. I just had to watch portions, stay within my point range for the day. I could still hit Burger King every once in awhile. I just had to make more sensible choices. Instead of having TWO DOUBLE cheeseburgers, a king sized fry and a huge soda... I would choose a Chicken Whopper JR (w/o mayo) a small fry.. and water. This WOULD work for me. I wouldn't feel like I was on a "diet".. I would lose weight and still be able to EAT! (what a concept!).
9+ months into my journal and 80 pounds lighter I'm still 100% motivated, determined and focus. I'm floating on air. I feel like a queen. I look in the mirror and I smile. I walk with pride. My self esteem has grown in leaps and bounds. I still have a ways to go... but I'm doing this. And I've never been more proud in my life.