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Review Uploaded
02/07/03

1 hr. 27 mins.
Starring: Ali Larter, A.J. Cook, Michael Landes, T.C. Carson, Keegan Connor Tracy, Sarah Carter
Directed by: David R. Ellis

Rating: ** stars (out of 4 stars)

Suffice to say, it appears that Death will never take a holiday. As long as there are ridiculously over-the-top hideous teen scream flicks out there to be had, the Grim Reaper will always be working overtime to ensure the delightful decapitation of some unlucky stiff in a needlessly harried horror adventure. In director David R. Ellis’s feeble and rancid offering Final Destination 2, we’re treated to more of the same nonsensical gory goings-on that generate the continuance regarding the sick-minded excitement that thrill-seeking audiences love to wallow in. There’s a clever way of slicing and dicing clueless one-dimensional youthful protagonists who perish in campy, sadistic fashion. But the overdone vile murders in Final Destination 2 really do take the cake. This disjointed display of recklessness is bluntly overwrought, blatantly numbing and downright laughable to say the least.

The original Final Destination flick presented the prospect of gamy youths facing their mortality.
Its premise centered upon an airline disaster, something that wouldn’t be too appetizing in today’s post 9/11 sensibilities. Now the tragic circumstances conveniently involve a trafficking catastrophe. Out of the blue, Daytona Beach-bound Kimberly Corman (A.J. Cook)-along for a car ride with her friends--experiences a freaky premonition about a potential crash that would most likely have claimed the lives of its victims. Thankfully, Kimberly obstructs the roadway in an effort to prevent a horrific ending for the destined doomed group of fellow motorists. But before anyone could utter the phrase “those darn meddlesome kids”, one thing is certain for sure-Death does not have a sense of humor and frowns upon those who escape its wrath. In other words, if you cheat the inevitable then you’re going to have to pay the price. Hmmm, isn’t that special?

So this presents the interesting prospect of Death becoming its own conceptual villain. Since Kimberly and the rest of the clan can’t comply by the grim rules of the game, the Dark Side has to take matters into His own hands as the crafty emcee and help out the haunting situation. And thus these poor elusive souls must face the sheer task of ducking and dodging Death’s infamous target. Still, it’s not long after some fortunate near misses that one by one these very same stubborn survivors start to succumb to their deadly fate via wacky gruesome exits courtesy of fatal and freakish brushes with devilish pigeons, unpredictable appliances, a nitrous oxide tank and sheet of glass, etc. And there you have it-Death getting its last laugh at the expense of arrogant adolescents and other motley crew prototypes that are the usual fair prey in overzealous, brain-dead scare-maneuvering thrillers.

Final Destination 2 has its wicked and perverse twisted jollies in perpetuating this constant paranoia concerning when we’re going to meet the Maker. And what better way to ominously and hysterically look at this lingering concern than to mull it over a flippant frightfest such as Ellis’s pesky pet project. In a sense, FD2 is disturbingly riotous in some doses and one can’t help but chuckling at some of the spontaneous executions that take place at a moment’s notice. But the dire deeds being demonstrated are cute in their intermittent cunning calculations but quickly develop a quick resistance after the novelty wears off a bit.

Ellis and his screenwriters J. Mackye Gruber and Eric Bress have the makings of a unique premise that dares to add some caustic dimension to an otherwise raw and worn-out genre that captures the same old territory of senseless slashing and such. However, with the evidence of trite dialogue, ghastly wooden performances and a perfunctory script that doesn’t bother to challenge its imaginative situational makeup, FD2 never quite capitalizes on its promising presentation as a giddy gamut of fear and fatalism. This movie has some spunk and nerve, more so than its predecessor, but nevertheless doesn’t take advantage of its delightfully deranged proceedings as much as it should have done. This may leave one wondering what inventive ways can the moviemakers come up with next to ensure more creative dastardly results that may exist in its inevitable follow-up in Final Destination 3? Still, why prematurely jump the gun a bit, right?

If a goosepimply film is aiming to be intentionally morbid in its sensational creepy skin, at least have the decency to make sure the off-kilter material has some semblance of heart and soul in its mundane fiber. All that Final Destination 2 accomplishes is delivering a series of empty-headed terrorizing tactics that doesn’t accurately or effectively back up its cynical pulse. The film has some erratic fun bringing the carnage to fruition but there’s no meaning or profound forethought after the mayhem has subsided. Hence, we are left wondering if the presence of Death is supposed to be looked upon as a comical source of comeuppance or if it’s a sign of spiritual significance? Arbitrary in its mean-spiritedness and souring disposition, the birth of Death didn’t start with the irksome chicanery of the film’s damaged players and their plight as much as it did with their clueless filmmaking inventors who conceived them in the first place.

Let’s just hope that this current film’s final destination is just that-it’s final one. Somehow in this day and age of chronic cinema sequelitis, I doubt this very much. On the horizon is probably another golden opportunity where the FD backers can squeeze another premonition out of a wayward curvy hottie who telepathically fears for the safety of passengers on an errant train about to derail off its tracks. I know…why risk encouraging the “intuitive” handlers of this developing movie franchise by giving them any more sparkling ammunition to contemplate? Who knows, maybe I am simply a glutton for punishment?