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Review Uploaded
06/27/03

1 hr. 22 mins.
Starring: Kelly Clarkson, Justin Guarini, Katherine Bailess, Greg Siff, Anika Nori Rose
Directed by: Robert Iscove

Rating: * ½ stars (out of 4 stars)

The current pop culture phenomenon known as American Idol has indeed captured the imagination of the small screen audience in two highly rated installments thus far. Now the tremendously popular talent show wants to branch out in different directions. First, it creates a needless spin-off in the form of American Juniors as temporary filler for the boob tube crowd. Now it takes its act on the road by featuring its very first winner, vibrant Texas-bred songbird Kelly Clarkson, and teams her up with fellow AI personality and curly-haired runner-up heartthrob Justin Guarini in the schmaltzy Spring Break romantic feature film From Justin To Kelly.

Now granted there’s nothing wrong with capitalizing on the continued appeal of the charismatic singing duo that became overnight sensations thanks to Fox-TV’s smash hit show that sent millions of youngsters and oldsters alike to forge a special bond with their cell phones all across North America in an effort to participate in the weekly televised event. But why did the clueless filmmakers have to saddle the AI perky pair with a scattershot and interminable musical movie that’s so lame in its inert presentation?

Obviously, the desperately numbing From Justin To Kelly is in the tradition of the silly-minded but innocuous beach blanket movies that populated the wide screen during the early to mid 60s. Leads Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello were established teen idols when they brought their brand of sunshine shenanigans to the giddy movie audience. But to serve up practically the same kind of inconsequential fluffy genre in these contemporary times while not matching any of the free-spirited momentum so characteristic from the original nutty flicks some forty years ago makes FJTK feel like some pointless and passé diversion. There’s no doubt that streams of devoted preteens and other AI enthusiasts will want to cuddle up to both Kelly and Justin and flock to see their celebrated manufactured musical artists romp around moonlighting as movie stars. And there’s no denying that both AI alums are extremely talented vocally. However, sitting through the bubble gum banality of FJTK is enough to make poor Beach vets Frankie and Annette (and the rest of us for that matter) bury their delusional heads in the sand.

The premise, as transparent as it sounds, finds our Lone Star State sweetie (Clarkson) toiling as a waitress and pop star wannabe looking to unwind from the grind. Kelly’s friends encourage her to relax and soak up the sun on a Spring Break getaway where they all can get loose for some good-natured fun and frolic. In the meanwhile, the Keystone State’s dreamy boy wonder (Guarini) is the selected master of ceremonies in charge of giving some needed energy and entertainment gusto into the Spring Break festivities. His mission is to keep the party hopping with an assortment of activities that range from bikini contests to gasp…singing for the masses!

The stage is set for a real great time at the sandy function for all involved. Kelly and her crew arrive looking to engage in some innocent mischievousness. And of course Justin and his hangers-on are there to infuse this happening with some needed spunk. Lo and behold, when the two strangers happened to notice one another in an instant glare the sparks flew without a moment’s warning. Conversely, the presence of smitten feelings was equally shared on the behalf of Justin and Kelly. Hence, we have before us the Romeo and Juliette of the sunray set. But like so many instances when potential lovebirds try to hook up, the mishaps and mayhem threaten to get in the way of their progressive union as petty jealousies and other distracting interference starts to take over. Darn, don’t you just hate when that happens?

There’s not a whole lot of meat to chew on that is the bare bone known as From Justin To Kelly. Simplistic and predictably tacky, there’s no heart or soul behind this concocted musical misfire. The anemic plot doesn’t bother to create anything remotely original or offbeat. This synthetic farce isn’t even as deep as AI pretty boy host Ryan Seacrest’s vanity. Also, if this flimsy flick’s sole purpose is to carry on the pop cultural surge of AI sensibilities, why didn’t the movie’s handlers have the common sense or shrewd inclination to get villainous Idol judge Simon Colwell involved in this flighty fiasco to spice things up considerably? (Hey…maybe Colwell politely nixed the idea of having his carefully crafted reputation spoiled by this trite travesty).

Surprisingly, newcomers Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini seem quite comfortable in their debut movie. If only the staid material didn’t fail them so blatantly then their effectiveness would have been more realized. The tandem does enthusiastically sing their lungs out and do what they can to serve up a series of finger-snapping moments. Unfortunately, the songs they choose to sing are rather generic and arbitrary. And the choreography sequences wouldn’t hold a candle to the prime time AI vignettes that led into the commercial breaks. The supporting players are pretty much carbon copies from the clichéd casting call of Teen Stock Characters 101 (you know…The Nice Girl, The Studly Guy, The Dimwitted One, The Vindictive Girl, etc.). Heck, even the movie’s title is lazy and charmless and wouldn’t be considered inventive or distinctive for a lackluster ABC After School Special.

Since From Justin To Kelly is nothing more than an exploitive campaign of blunt commercialism to push the agenda of Clarkson/Guarini and other American Idol-related interests then why not take it to the limit a bit and offer something that can challenge the resiliency of the Fox program’s impact? This disposable flick plays it too safe and is more focused upon pandering to its hardcore youthful demographics for fear that they will blow away if role models Kelly and Justin aren’t seen in a non-threatening light. Yet they choose to suffocate their sexy-looking leads in a half-hearted updated beach movie that will fade faster than Paula Abdul’s singing career in the mid eighties? Go figure.

Here’s my cinematic advice to both Kelly and Justin: if you want to extend your 15 minutes of fame and turn it into an everlasting career in the competitive world of showbiz, do not submit yourselves to any more forced dreck that insists on tarnishing your promising singing careers. Stick to what you know best-belting out tunes for your adoring followers. Concentrate on developing your scope as mainstream pop singers. There will be plenty of time for the lights, camera and action that you both knew so well from your notable growth on the insanely viewed American Idol. Besides, don’t we have enough Madonnas in this misunderstood world trying to pick up scripts in a feeble attempt to act and be regarded as well rounded entertainers? At least she’s been around long enough to warrant the disastrous attempts at revisiting this painful fate over and over. As for Kelly and Justin, well…you haven’t earned that right just yet.

If any ill-advised project is deserving of a roguish Simon Cowell-esque belittling barb then From Justin To Kelly qualifies for a bona fide royal scathing. This is certainly one misguided display that shouldn’t have been granted the permission to go to Hollywood. Or be created by Hollywood for that matter!