![]() Guest Critic Selection: STEALING HARVARD |
Frank Ochieng is a guest critic who also writes reviews for his own personal website, located here. To become a Guest Critic for CINEMA
2000, please notify David Keyes.
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Written by FRANK OCHIENG
1 hr. 23 mins. Frank's film tip: "Stealing Harvard" is mere petty larceny...nothing more, nothing less Somehow you know the odds are stacked against you when you knowingly take on the reality of seeing the annoying and attention-starved comic-actor Tom Green in yet another pointless lowbrow comedy. Well, in the wacky and moronic vehicle Stealing Harvard, Green gets to strut his inane-driven stuff again in sophomoric material designed to incite some breezy and boneheaded laughs. The good news is that Green has toned down his over-the-top shocking shenanigans a bit that were relentlessly featured in previous insufferable offerings such as the forgettable Road Trip and the punishing Freddy Got Fingered. The bad news is that Stealing Harvard is just another faceless farce on the raucous radar screen that soon shall pass with time. Given the fact that Stealing Harvard could have been simply another disposable and manufactured gross-out comedy, it does make you chuckle occasionally if youre in the mood for high-minded dreck posing as a knee-slapping, carefree movie script. If anything, Stealing Harvard is cheerfully idiotic in its mockery while never really hitting the depths of an abysmal mode. Director Bruce McCulloch (Dog Park, Superstar), primarily known to television fans as one of the featured players on the Canadian comedy sketch show The Kids in the Hall, lets the camera roll in hopes of letting the misguided mayhem fall into place. Actually, the movie does maintain a sense of nutty appeal in its wayward slapstick although a little of the frolicking foolishness thats being displayed from time to time does go a long way. For the most part, the concept of Stealing Harvard seems so ideal in its premise regarding the desperation of a loving but hapless uncle John (Jason Lee) trying to hold on to a monetary promise he made to his niece involving the financing of her college education. The plotline has great possibilities but for the most part, McCulloch exposes the dumbfounded tics of the spotty screenplay by relying on too many familiar nonsensical comedic devises that essentially ruin the effectiveness of the movies ribald flow. When John is reminded that his niece will need money to attend college - the prestigious Harvard University no doubt - he panics and understandably so. The Harvard-bound student needs approximately $30,000 for school that coincidentally he has saved up as a down payment for a new home he and his fiancée (Leslie Mann) hope to purchase. And so the dilemma forces the bewildered John to contemplate the following: what will he do with the thirty grand that he currently possesses? Will he be true to his beloved niece and fork over that money for her schooling as he had vowed he would do years ago? Or will he use it for the domestic tranquility of a nice new home with a woman he hopes to begin a loving future with? (although its made clear that he can barely tolerate her presence). Gee, such a tough decision, huh? Bogged down in an endless ambivalence over money matters, John decides to turn to his doltish buddy Duff (Tom Green), a knuckleheaded dipstick who drinks to excess while living in the cozy comforts of his parents garage. To say that the dimwitted Duff has no ambition whatsoever would indeed be stating the obviousness. Together, the tacky twosome concoct a plan to get their hands on some quick cash by entering the world of crime as a mere convenience in order to resolve Johns pending financial problems. And so John and Duff are off and running in the haphazard ways they go about securing some serious loot. The doofus-minded duo are involved in one botched robbery scheme after another. As they engage in their criminal activity, they find ways to trade off childish quips courtesy of their incessant bickering that leads to further confusion. There are a couple of keys scenes that were somewhat riotous such as John and Duff arguing over what alias names to use when robbing the venues or when they foolishly take off their wool masks to ask some incredulous question to the people theyre robbing at the worst moments. Of course this is geared to show the tandems subtlety of the ineptitude that triggers the ridiculous charm of their wrongdoing. But then the movie strings along a bunch of other tired contrived instances where the cute charade of being clueless becomes exhaustingly overplayed. Soon theres everything from a gun-toting teen convenience store clerk shooting at the pinheaded pair to the clumsy association with the obligatory seedy loan shark. Stealing Harvard not only boasts one of the more awkward films titles of the movie season, its very misleading in that we never so much as see a classroom. The only hint of curriculum we get from this collegiate-titled comedy is an assortment of run-of-the-mill gags that run hot and cold like an indecisive water faucet. The movie is fine when it feels comfortable in its idiocy-driven skin but it never reaches for more development in its rollicking intentions to lift it beyond the rudimentary jitteriness of a crude comedy. The actors all seem to be working on fumes here by portraying throwaway characters that exhibit no distinctive depth or completeness. The films leads Lee and Green are passable to a certain extent as faulty fratboys out for some naughty adventure. However, Green still comes off as a distracting dud that tries to overdo his forced shtick despite his being restrained in this particular flick. Imagine what tiring insanity this comedic clunker would have bestowed on this movie had he gotten the opportunity to show off even more? The supporting cast go through the arbitrary motions as well, particularly Dennis Farina as the typical skeptical overprotective father who feels that his little girl could do much better in a suitor than Lees screwed-up alter ego John. Megan Mullally (TVs Will & Grace) and John.C. McGinley (TVs Scrubs) are essentially wasted in cliched roles as Johns saucy bimbo sister and a frustrated cop out to nab John and Duff respectively. For all its zany intentions, Stealing Harvard has all the brightness of a burned-out light bulb. What could have been an utterly entertaining farce with underlying sweetness merely ends up as an irritating and cobbled together hyperactive comedy trying to be too cute for its own good. Stealing Harvard is nothing more than petty larceny at best. Frank's rates this film: ** stars (out of 4 stars) © David Keyes, CINEMA 2000. 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