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Review Uploaded
05/09/03

1 hr. 30 mins.
Starring: Hilary Duff, Adam Lamberg, Robert Carradine, Hallie Todd, Jake Thomas, Yani Gellman, Alex Borstein
Directed by: Jim Fall

Rating: ** stars (out of 4 stars)

Is this the latest cinematic renaissance known as the Teeny Tart Movement where the rule of the day involves randomly shelling out cutesy and mindless juvenile dreck for the whole world of adolescent girls to embrace with blinded enthusiasm? With recent frivolous fare such as What A Girl Wants (starring another millennium-based pop culture princess-in-the-making Amanda Bynes) and Agent Cody Banks (featuring Hilary Duff, the star of this currently reviewed film), it’s quite evident that the ultimate goal is to tap into the movie-going mindset of teenybopper gals in particular with the prospect of striking box office gold via this frayed formula.

In director Jim Fall’s well intentioned fluffy but anemic “tweens” tale The Lizzie McGuire Movie, the antics are predictably similar to the aforementioned What A Girl Wants in that it features a coming-of-age young heroine traveling abroad in search of her own self-discovery through the hokey confines of an excitable run-of-the-mill adventure. Listen, there’s nothing wrong with an innocuous feminine fable that fulfills the escapist fantasy of preteen girls that whisks them away into the zany ride of a kiddie romp. But that’s the problem at large in that arbitrary pointless pictures such as Fall’s pseudo-charming narrative simply settles for the flimsy aspects of its baseless entertaining factors while never being nimble enough to incorporate other positive messages that can liberate its primarily giddy girlie audience. Sure, squeaky clean storylines about youthful curvy and pretty protagonists that represent the innocent Disneyesque mystique while incorporating a hint of underlying naughtiness has been somewhat of a sure fire gimmick on the big screen thanks to previous whimsical concoctions such as The Princess Diaries. However, why not take the time to show some genuine angst and a sense of true empowerment through these same sugary conveyor belt comedies as well? It’s probably because the filmmakers are so busy trying to corner the market of the manufactured rise of upcoming television Disney darlings such as the spunky Hilary Duff to care completely about instilling some solid substance in this lightweight serving of perky pie.

For those that are unaware of this tidbit, The Lizzie McGuire Movie is based upon the immensely popular Disney cable boob tube hit of the same name that’s a proven winner with its massive juvenile audience. Hilary Duff reprises her role as the lovable and awkward Lizzie McGuire, a cloned video version of Britney Spears but with the PG-rated bubble gum virtues still in tact. Anyway, good ole Lizzie has just graduated from middle-school and will now enjoy a two-week class trip to Rome in order to take in the exotic sites. When the touring becomes somewhat tedious, especially when enduring the insufferable presence of pushy tour guide Miss Ungermeyer (Alex Borstein formerly from Fox-TV’s Mad TV variety program), Lizzie and her buddy Gordo (Adam Lamberg) decide to enjoy Italy on their terms without the restricted nonsense that comes with the smothering group they’re traveling with in ho hum fashion.

Along the way, Lizzie will eventually meet up with a dashing Italian pop star named Paolo (Yani Gellman). Of course it doesn’t take long for Lizzie to fall head-over-heels for the hunky singing lothario that she thinks is as tasty as a plate of yummy lasagna. The interest that Paolo has in Lizzie is quite simple; she has an uncanny resemblance to that of Isabella (also played by Duff), his former singing companion who evidently is not on talking terms with him right now. With Isabella perturbed and a major musical gig right around the corner that warrants the tandem of her and Paolo as a main act to highlight this function, this split could cause some serious trouble in their music careers. Thus Lizzie obliges Paolo by accepting his offer to pose as Isabella and join him on this ruse as they dupe the adoring fans that worship their celebrated shoes.

And so the charade continues on as Lizzie (assuming Isabella’s identity of course) kicks it into high gear as she and Paolo bury themselves in the chaotic quandary of autograph seekers, flashing paparazzi light bulbs and the materialistic mayhem that goes with the showbiz territory. Lizzie is swept up in the limelight of all this adoration and attention along with her ideal dream guy as her partner-in-crime. The realization, though disheartening, is that Lizzie is enjoying this royal treatment through the skin of another individual’s livelihood while never comprehending the meaning of being true to herself and stimulating her own stillborn existence through her pulse of creativity. In the meanwhile, poor hanger-on Gordo is left wondering whether or not he’s lost his galpal Lizzie (whom he has deep feelings for underneath that platonic surface) to heartthrob Paolo and the superstardom of an energetic pop star lifestyle. And so the inevitable questions are raised: will Lizzie find true happiness being someone else and living someone else’s real life dream? Is gaining the fame and fortune through questionable and deceptive means worth the fuss? Can Lizzie find true love in the form of Paolo and the publicity packaging that he comes with or will she see what she takes for granted with distant admirer Gordo and the familiar friends she opts to conveniently dismiss for a shot at being on top as a faux celebrity?

The Lizzie McGuire Movie actually does stumble across some relatively good themes that it fails to explore in definite detail. In fact, it may even be more relevant than its contemporary cousin What A Girl Wants in that it raises some legitimate forethought about the marketing strategies of catapulting the polished images of the talented youth commodities to suit the potential moneymaking scheming at the exploitive special interests of its targeted youthful demographics. Whether trying to milk the cash cow from “established” songbird artists such as Britney Spears (the dreadful Crossroads) and Mandy Moore (the forgettable A Long Walk to Remember) to the promotion of current cutie pies like Bynes and Duff, it’s clear that filmmakers want to create an endless enterprise for propelling vibrant teen vixens with a vast following and turning them into automatic box office dollar signs. Hey, it’s the name of the game-there’s no denying this process. Still, there’s something so synthetic and creepy about this whole agenda that feels so disingenuous.

In an inexplicable age where high-rated media events such as American Idol convincingly rule the airwaves for countless teens and young adults and reality-based programming has taken over the moviegoers’ mindset with subversive and simple-minded staples such as The Real Cancun and Jackass The Movie, it’s easy to see how tempting it is to buy into the whole mockery of developing peppy propaganda for indiscriminating little girls. After all, aren’t they the ones that helped Titanic achieve cinema supremacy years ago?

The whole notion of thrusting a child into the grueling spotlight of high expectations is both invigorating and borderline disastrous. Instead of showing the seedy side of one young girl’s quest to break out and be noticed amid the treasured accolades, Lizzie McGuire feels suspiciously comfortable in its lackluster ability to dwell in flighty trivialities. Not only does the movie fail to provide any worthwhile insight into what a curious young woman would like to experience as a notable “somebody” in a world furiously applauding the kudos of the entertainment industry looking to groom and gravitate toward the pubescent public at hand but it also signifies the amateurish tendencies (transparent storytelling, generic plot, breezy one-dimensional characterizations, shoddy camerawork, etc.) that bog down this cheesy, booming genre.

This marshmallow movie will have its impact on young gals looking to join Hilary Duff/Lizzie McGuire as she trots off in search of hooking up with cute boys, indulging in the romanticism of pop music and clothing fashion, and roaming the picturesque foreign countryside as it incidentally serves as a glorified celluloid tourist attraction for the Italian landscape, etc. While all this would be an appealing diversion for its pinpointed preteen female viewers, this 90-minute glossy commercial only has one thing in mind and that’s to capitalize on turning the enticing Hilary Duff into a big screen profitable product that can be molded and folded at will.

If anything, The Lizzie McGuire Movie does accomplish the manipulative manner in which it wants to salute its Hilary Duff fan base by simply creating a theatrical spin-off from its incredibly lauded televised inspiration. That’s all well and good for its adorable lead Duff and her legions of Lizzie enthusiasts who’ll pay the big bucks to see her latest exploits in stuffy movie theaters as opposed to enjoying her routinely in the comforts of their homes on a weekly basis. It’s just too bad that Lizzie McGuire and company merely create the same meandering static in an uneventful mode that flows so endearingly in its small screen incarnation. Yes, Ms. Duff will benefit from this vacuous vehicle and she’ll probably maintain loftier ambitions beyond that of her film alter ego’s horizons. And no doubt her loyal observers and behind-the-scenes handlers will help her achieve that promising Britney-induced prototype star power that’s so infectious in the minds of wannabe starlets scattered everywhere. But the real smack in the face is this: what will the antsy Disney crowd get in return for their die hard devotion to this blonde babe-in-the-woods looking to score a rewarding payday in a schmaltzy showcase designed for today’s cinematically-starved teenyboppers?

In short, The Lizzie McGuire Movie has all the significance and high-minded spirit of a vintage ‘70s Leif Garrett pin up poster covered in cobwebs.