Other Basilian Jokes

Inspired by Disney film The Great Mouse Detective, The Basil of Baker Street Mysteries by Eve Titus, and email jokes.

Adapted by Basil of Baker Street. <roguesquadron@hotmail.com>
Edited by Diane N. Tran. <escottish140@hotmail.com>

Re-publication for this GMD site © 20 February 2001
REVISED © 30 April 2001

(Editor's Note: Written text is copyright of the author. Rebroadcast, redistribution, or reproduction of this document, in whole or in part, is prohibited without prior, written permission.)



Originally posted on Basil's Public Reading Forum. © 23 March 2001

Basil and Dr. Dawson were on ship in the North Atlantic headed for the United States where they planned to take a case. Unknown to them, Mlle. Irene Relda had also managed to sneak aboard; possibly with intentions to spoil their plans, but mainly to visit some old friends. The ship crashed, however, and the three mice found themselves stranded on a mysterious and seemingly deserted island.

Basil was furious when he discovered Irene had boarded the ship, but he soon realized that his main intention ought to be focused on finding a way to leave to the island as soon as possible. However, only a couple of hours after being on the island, Dawson slammed his foot against a glittering object in the sand. As he rubbed the sand off of it, there came a loud whirling sound. It was a magic lamp, and a Genie emerged. He glanced at the three terror-stricken mice, and said, "Normally I grant three wishes per master, but since there are three of you, I give each of you one wish."

After recovering from the shock and disbelief, Basil and Dawson of course, made wishes to be on American soil.

Irene, however, realizing that the two other mice probably wanted to frame her for her crimes no matter which country she returned to, though for a moment and confessed her feelings on the matter.

"However," she admitted "I was really starting to like Mr. Basil and Doctor Dawson. I wish they were back here with me!"




Originally posted on Basil's Reading Forum. © 26 March 2001

Basil and Dr. Dawson went to take a case in Wales. Ratigan ordered Fidget to follow and spy on them, and spoil their plans, "if your little bat brain can get you to do anything right!"

The bat soon discovered the inn where Basil and Dawson were staying. He even managed to locate their very room, but (fortunately for the bat!) the two mice happened to be out at the time. With some trouble, Fidget picked the lock and was surprised at how easily he had accomplished this. He immediately began to go through Basil's possessions before hearing a voice: "Jesus is watching you."

The ugly bat jumped up at looked around, but saw no one. Thinking it had to be his imagination, Fidget continued rumaging. Then, he heard it again: "Jesus is watching you."

The looked up and saw a pigeon perched on the top of a bookshelf.

"Hey, shoo, birdie! Get lost, or I'll come up there are git's ya!"

"Well I just thought you might want to know that Jesus is watching you." the pigeon said.

"Who are you?" the bat demanded.

"My name is Moses. Basil gave me the name."

"Ha ha ha," the bat fell over laughing. "Basil must have lost 'is mind to giv ya such a stupid name!"

The pigeon responded, "Do you also think he was stupid when he named his Doberman friend, Jesus?"




Originally posted on Basil of Baker Street Forum. © 12 April 2001

Basil of Baker Street and Dr. Dawson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Basil awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Dawson, look up and tell me what you see."

Dawson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Dawson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Why, what does it tell you?"

Basil was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Dawson, you idiot! Somebody has stolen our tent!"




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