Well, here I am again. Entry 2 after many many months.
Sept 8, 1999
Here’s the scoop: A is married to B, but she’s having a love
affair with C. So she divorces B to marry C, only to find that C is D’s
secret lover and her own long lost brother! Sound like an episode from
the latest soap opera or the Jerry Springer show? No, this is an Internet
role-playing chat (IRPC) in the “Forest” at http://woah.alamak.net.
“IRPC is the way to go!” is a cry I often hear from the typewritten
mouths of the role players. I agree with them, if you are bored of the
usual TV talk shows and soaps. A new era has arrived where you – yes, YOU!
– can get interactive and participate in the latest scandals and melodramas.
This time, you can be the slutty half-elf thief or cheating warrior sleeping
with your sibling’s spouse, with virtually no risk and a maximum of cyber-tissue
use.
I stand before you – or sit, to be exact – a confirmed Net Chat
addict. I sit in front of my computer 24-7, except on days when I have
classes, work or an exam to study for the next day.
I don’t go for those boring generic chat rooms. I go for the exclusive
chat room where entertainment – laughter, that is -- is at its maximum
value: the IRPC at Alamak. There isn’t any better place to laugh yourself
silly at the expense of others.
IRPC is unique from all the other generic chat lines because it
allows you to be someone else entirely. You can be a gorgeous princess
with a figure of 36-20-35 and a huge muscle-bound Adonis. Now can you do
that on the other chat lines? Oh, yeah, you can. All right then, how many
generic chat lines do you know that allows you to cast magic balls of “Barney
Dolls on Fire” or hack someone to death with an “Ultimate Massacre Deathsword”?
The world of IRPC does not consist only of role players, there’s
another, more sensible part of the IRPC located in the same room: the anti-IRPC
coalition. I am a member of this coalition where I am given the privilege
of bashing the Alamak role-playing chatters, known to the anti-IRPC as
the [unfortunately, this description of role-playing chatters had to be
censored due to the excessive use of profanity].
As a member of this anti-IRPC coalition, I am held to strict rules
that I must abide by. Under no circumstances am I to speak sociably to
the evil IRP chatters. To do so would be considered an act of treason and
I will be spanked most viciously with a bag of Twinkies.
I must shamefully confess that I was once an evil IRP chatter. Yes, I have professed my undying love to 5 men all at the same time, while I slayed 4 dragons with my little pinkie. Now I spend my days, mocking the "newbie" role-playing chatters who inhabit this little realm of cyberspace.
Don’t misunderstand me. I am not against role-playing. The coalition
really does support good role-playing, something that is severely lacking
in the Alamak realm. There is no way you can respect people who go around
attacking others with “Unavoidable Thunder Dome Crash” and say “Haha! I
kick away your Massive Ball of Fire with a flick of my pinkie!”
In the middle of all that invincible violence, you have millions
of love stories proliferating the chat room. Person X with 20 lovers and
ten marriages in just 6 months, to be exact. Even Elizabeth Taylor can’t
top that.
IRPC is the new wave of entertainment. I’ve seen some people give up
their job, spouse, and life just to be with their ‘true cyber love,’ who
turns out to be a 900-pound sea slug with a computer and Internet access.
I just point my finger and laugh at those chatters. Ah, cyber-life is good.
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