I had a sinking feeling the other day. There I lay, watching the TV and becoming quite annoyed. I often become annoyed watching Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher. Hell, that's mostly why I watch it.
The discussion was about religion, but the specific topic is not that important. I was thinking about religion and wandering off in my mind when I came to the realization that I am hopelessly biased. It's a weird thing to realize. The sinking feeling, though, was when I realized where I had seen this bias before...
There are a lot of religions out there. Most claim to be the ones who have it all figured out. Sometimes they claim this explicitly, other times they claim it implicitly with their complete contempt or ignorance of other religions/sects. Why bother even knowing about that ancient tribal nonsense?
But it is obvious they cannot all be right. The religious can see that many of the others seem to be equally sincere and often more devout. What is a man of God to do? He cannot wave his hand and call "those people" deluded fools. Both beliefs are remarkably similar. Enter the arrogant rationalizations.
You know all those other gods out there? Well, they don't exist, obviously. Even atheists would agree with that. No, those people are actually worshiping Satan. They have been seduced by the ultimate false god. Muslims? Satan worshipers. Jews? Satan worshipers/Jesus killers. Hindus? Too easy. Atheists and agnostics? Satan incarnate.
The end result? All those other beliefs are not "other beliefs" at all. They are all part of my system. Everything now fits into how I view the world. My beliefs are not put in doubt; they are strengthened by this strong evidence for Satan working on Earth.
That's just the extreme example, to best illustrate the insanity. Most Christians don't think that way. At least not about the Jews and Muslims. Polytheists and Freethinkers--that's a different story. The point is that I found myself doing something very similar. Every time I hear someone claim to be a "former atheist" or have as much said about them, I scoff. "Yeah, right. Sure you were." The way I see things, I cannot for a second imagine turning to Christianity. I can't believe that someone who has seen things with the same eyes I now see things could ignore all that and swallow the Kool-Aid (Jim Jones reference).
Okay, I can see it, but not as an intellectual choice upon careful examinations. Only atheists by default or true atheists with huge emotional baggage and/or social pressures convert. Try to tell me otherwise, and I cannot compute it. It makes no sense. Borderline cognitive dissonance.
But what is so bad about bias? Generally speaking, it is the filter we use on the world, but it usually comes about through experience. We alter our perception of things so that the world is easier to understand--not in an ignorant way, shutting off reality because we don't like it--but for a good reason. I would wager that most of us have a bias, a filter, that tells us to take everything lawyers and politicians say with a grain of salt. Experience dictates that they are often less than forthright, and a skeptical filter helps us to better see the world.
Far too often, worldviews are drilled into children by their parents, but that is not the case for most people, even those raised Fundamentalist. At least I hope not. Regardless of how they come about, it is important to challenge worldviews from time to time. Do they hold up? Is my filter giving me a more accurate or less accurate picture of the world?
If I read atheist-to-Christian conversion or reconversion stories, I am virtually never satisfied, and my worldview stands. I see things like: "I used to be so angry at the Lord Jesus, for (insert tragedy). Then I came to realize that God had a plan..." Blah, blah, blah. Emotional baggage. If you used to really be an atheist, and not one by default (raised with no religion at all), but rather by conscious choice, then give me what I need.
If you once thought as I do, then you should be able to lead me down the same path. Where have I erred? Show me the glaring problem that you found, and explain how all the problems with religion were overcome.
I have never seen anything that even comes close to this standard. It would appear that my only chance at becoming a theist is for a close family member to die. Is that really the best reason to convert?
My bias is strengthened by such testimony. Such people may or may not have been "real" atheists, but they converted for stupid, petty, emotional reasons. My bias colors my interpretation, which strengthens my bias. Just like the religious do when looking at people of other faiths.
This is my site caveat. I don't know if the issue of conversion/reconversion of atheists ever appears or ever will appear, but it is good for the reader to know how the author's filter is tuned. This bias will likely continue until I am finally forced to admit my error and reconvert. (I have heard quite often that such a turn of events is inevitable.) I wouldn't hold my breath.