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EIA #2: Shadow of the Past

 

 1.  What do hobbits enjoy doing at the Green Dragon?

**"Wooing" innocent, unsuspecting Hobbit-maids for later--*hands over ears* Not listening! Not listening! (Carnimírië)     ROFLMAO!

*Combing each other’s feet over a good beer (Baronostiel)

**Karaoke, mostly, and endurance contests.  These contests have only rarely been observed by people from the Outside and are rumored to involve tweezers and a great deal of ale. (The Trees of Yavanna)

**Hold anti-'pipeweed warning' rallies.  (Elfwing Angel)

**Drink and be merry, of course! But they have had to try to restrain themselves a little more, ever since the disastrous game of Spin the Bottle when Merry and Pippin....[censored]  (Anamírë)

**They raise shrubberies for Monty Python films.  (Frodo Gardner)

**Removing the "Mind your Head" signs whenever a human entered  (Hengist)

**Getting table and lap dances in the VIP Room. The foot massages are free. (Eowyn of Penns Woods)

***keg stands, mostly.  Oh, and writing things like "pervy elf fancier" on the faces of those poor hobbits who pass out on the tables. (PinkOliphaunts)

**Making fun of dwarves. One of there favourite jokes is: What do you call a dwarf with half a brain? Gifted!!  (Moi)

**When hobbits troop down to the Inn
 The boisterous parties begin.
 Spin-the-bottle they play:
 a risqué cabaret
 That occasionally causes chagrin.  (Roheryn)

 

2. What did the inscription on the ring read? 

**Surgeon General's Warning: Use of this Ring may be hazardous to your health. (Inferno)  ROFLMAO!

**Made in Taiwan (The Trees of Yavanna, Frodolover24, Carnimírië)

**If found, please return to Sauron, Dark Lord, Barad-Dur. Reward offered.  (and the like, Mar, Lurking Girl, Anamírë, White Gull, SunnyJim, Shadowfaxrules, Miriel Telcontar)

**Sauron + Elrond= True Love Forever (Varda Elentari)

**Warm machine wash only, do not dry clean  (Elfwing Angel)

**One age limited warranty - damage due to neglect, abuse, misuse, accident, or falling into Cracks of Doom not covered. (Frodo Gardner)

**Do not Duplicate Under Penalty of Law (SunnyJim)

**Warning - possible side effects - sensitivity to light, fish cravings, invisibility, speech problems and hallucinations of large men on big black horses coming to get you and paranoia. If these problems persist for more than 2 days -- youre in BIG trouble! (Lamiel)

**If you can read this... you're too close. Objects in Mordor are closer than they appear...So are Nazgul!  MWAAHAAHAAA..."  (Eowyn of Penns Woods, and Pukel-man and Seillib for the 1st part)

**insert finger here  (Herself the Elf, PinkOliphaunts)

**This Way Up. (really messes with your head, that...)  (Greenwood hobbit)

**Warning: side effects may include invisibility, meglomania, and a tendency to refer to oneself in the plural.  (Lamiel)

**One size fits all. (Roheryn)

 

 3.  Fill in blank:  “Please Mr. Gandalf, don’t turn me into __________ ________!!

**a Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.  (Frodo Gardner—loved the pic!)  ROFLMAO!

**into Alan Titchmarsh!! (He's a TV gardener here in the UK.) (Eledhwen, *snert* I love that show!)

**a newt!!  (Annael, Inferno)

**Figwit's twin!!  I'm afraid of all those fangirls!!!  (Lurking Girl)

**Anything that remotely resembles Haldir.  (Varda Elentari)

**A jazzercise instructor! Jumping around in spandex all day...I'd go mad!  (Anamírë)

**A garden gnome (Eärendil The Mariner)

**The rohirrims dung collecter (Hengist)

**anything unnatural...like Joan Rivers!" (Eowyn of Penns Woods)

**stewed conies (Shadowfaxrules)

**a Goon!! --(ie: little bunny foo foo, hopping through the forest...)  (Herself the Elf)

**an ewok (Kimi)

**to the Shirriffs! I swears it weren’t me who’s been putting grass snakes in your beard!” (Roheryn)

 

 4.  What was Frodo’s undercover name?

**John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt. (Inferno)  ROFLMAO!

**Malcolm Peter Brian Telescope Adrian Blackpool Rock Stoatgobbler John Raw Vegetable Brrroooo Norman Michael (rings bell) (blows whistle) Edward (sounds car horn) (does train impersonation) (sounds buzzer) Thomas Moo... (sings) "We'll keep a welcome in the..." (fires gun) William (makes silly noise) "Raindrops keep falling on my" (weird noise) "Don't sleep in the subway" (cuckoo cuckoo) Naaoooo... Smith (Annael- *snert*)

**Snoogins.  Oh wait, undercover, not under covers...erm...heck (The Trees of Yavanna)

**'keeps falling down' (Mar)

**I tried to make anagrams of Frodo's name:  Sing Grab Food, Good Gins Barf, F. DogBag Irons, Goofing Bards (Lurking Girl)

**Mr. Peepers - unsure whether this is linked to his strange habit of walking near other hobbits' windows at night or his favorite snack: marshmallow peeps. Frodolover24

**Bucklebury Finn (Eowyn of Penns Woods)

**Mr. Potter (Herself the Elf)

**004 and a half (LOTR nutcase)

**T. Ringbearer (subtle, don't ya think?) (Miriel Telcontar)

 

5.  Why wouldn’t Gandalf take the ring when Frodo offered it to him?

**Ever seen the MTV parody? I wouldn't touch that ring either!! (Anamírë)  (I couldn’t even finish watching it, so horrible!) ROFLMAO!

**Coz Frodo had just picked his nose and wiped it on the ring!  (Ciars—uh, gross!)

**He really wanted . . . a shrubbery! (Annael)

**Because Gandalf really prefers platinum...it goes so much better with his wardrobe than gold does. (The **Trees of Yavanna, and the like:  Kimber, SunnyJim, Herself the Elf, Greenwood hobbit)

**He heard it turns your finger green- and he's soooooo too good for cheap jewelry. (Varda Elentari, and similar: Joelle LOTR nutcase, Miriel Telcontar)

**He wasn't quite sure just WHERE Frodo's fingers had been (Frodo Gardner)

**He secretly lusted after Sauron's Ruby slippers. (Nuala—I’m picturing this. . .haha!)

**His heart belongs to another. (Eärendil The Mariner)

**He's a commitment phobe; after all, he hasn't been in a stable relationship for a VERY long time! (Waterbaby, and the like: Vidstige, JessLynn, Hengist)

**He tried, but he couldn’t.  Frodo had accidentally superglued it to himself. (Roheryn)

**Because Círdan would have been jealous. (Moi)

**Arthritis. (Pukel-man)

**Because he'd already spent enough time chatting up Gollum and exploring the dungeons of the "Nec-Romancer" and didn't want to attract either of them again. After all, he *got* those restraining orders so he *wouldn't* have to be anyone's Precious. (Eowyn of Penns Woods)

 

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