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EIA #4: : A Shortcut to Mushrooms & A Conspiracy Unmasked
1. What were Gandalf's instructions to Sam?
* Keep Frodo out of the light. He hates the light, and sunlight will kill him. Don't get Frodo wet, no matter how badly he needs a bath. And whatever you do, no matter how much he begs, never, NEVER feed him after midnight. (karen the magnificent) ROFLMAO!
* Furst yuoo poot zee cheeckee in zee put, bork, bork (Vidstige)
* Make sure to put the recycling out on the third Thursday every month! (huorn)
* Go left until you see this really big black gate, and if you stick your thumb out long enough I'm sure someone will give you a ride..... (Miriel Telcontar)
* Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you're going to Mordor! (Trixie Hobbit)
* Whatever you do, don't pick up any hitchhikers, and don't go more than 3 miles over the speed limit, and don't pass on the right, and for the Valar's sakes please don't eat in my car. (Elwen)
* "Try not to kill *everyone* who looks sideways at Frodo, would you? It's bad for PR." (Carnimírië)
* (concerning Shadowfax) "Now, when I come back, I don't want him chipped, scratched, dented, or otherwise mutilated. Wash once a day, using only A-grade soap, the was I left, and a genuine leather shammi. There'd better be the same mileage on him as when I left when I get back. And whatever you do, DON'T FORGET TO LOCK THE STABLES!" (LOTR_nutcase)
* Now Sam, you know how Frodo has a "face plant" problem. He's a old hobbit make sure he doesn't fall off a cliff or anything. It would take me forever to find a new hobbit. (Joelle)
* If Aragorn developes a strange attraction for Frodo and he tries anything, don't to kill him. He's kinda important. Just throw him a beatin' (WhiteAslan)
* Bring me a Lothlorien Latte - shaken, not stirred, with whipped cream. Not too hot, but not lukewarm, either. And make sure you put on those little chocolate sprinkles that I like. Not the big ones, those get stuck in my beard. Think you got that, Samwise Gamgee?" (Aydria Elenlinn)
* The hair I want six inches below the ear, and I'd like the beard trimmed a just a little, to get rid of the split ends. While you're at it, do you think you could hem my robes? I'm going to Saruman's towere, and he is *so* particular to detail. Did I ever tell you about the time..... (LadyOfTheLibrary)
* He wanted Sam to find him...A SHRUBBERY! And then cut down a tree with....A HERRING! (Anamírë)
* How to care for your Frodo: Lesson 1: Always keep your Frodo well fed. Lesson 2: The One Ring can make your Frodo cranky, so be careful when criticizing shriveled ex-hobbits. etcetera, etcetera... (SarcasticElf)
* Keep it secret. Keep it safe", and hands over his little yellow duck (Nuala)
* "For he love of Pete, Samwise- from now on, LABEL IT if you are going to use a coke bottle for weed killer- you saw what that stuff did to Pippin! (elfwing_angel)
* Follow the road from Hobbiton to Bywater for three miles. Turn right at the Green Dragon. Count your strides as you go, and when you've gone 300 strides, look to the left. Enter the corn field, cutting diagonally across to the large white rock. From there, you can see a crooked tree with a large forked branch. If you climb halfway up the tree, you'll see a small hole. Reach into the hole, ........ (SunnyJim)
2. Ho! Ho! Ho! To the bottle I go, to _________
and ____________ !
* Ho! Ho! Ho! To the bottle I go,
Down shots of Vlad real fast, not slow!
We'll play beirut while beer still flows,
Who needs a liver? Let it go.
Should cops come to snoop and spy,
Then out the window our Stash will fly. (PinkOliphaunts)
ROFLMAO!
* To cheer my heart with a nice Bordeaux! (DAS)
* To eat brie cheese and escargot (ThirdOrcOnTheLeft)
* To bang my head and stub my toe! (Mar)
* To relieve myself and drink some mo'! (Foe-Hammer_of_Gondolin)
* To dye my hair and frizz my fro. (Miriel Telcontar)
* To squeeze a fart and guzz' Merlot! (Frodo Gardner)
* To down a pint and stagger in slo-mo! (Trixie Hobbit)
* To sing off key and stub my toe! (Uitlander)
* To pour milk on my cheer-i-os! (Marigold Gamgee)
* To woo young maids and cause a row! (Carnimírië)
* To rub the dish and make a wish! (LOTR_nutcase)
* To wound with intent and then duck his blow! (Pukel-man)
* To get real drunk and up I'll throw! (luinfalathiel)
* To down some beers and drown my fears! (ringers rock!)
* To scrub my sink and mop 'n' glo! (Varda's Songbird)
* To eat lembas and let one blow! (elfwing_angel)
* To find inspiration and make up lyrics that don't rhyme! (Vidstige)
3. What did Frodo steal from Farmer Maggot? (had to pick 2)
* His name. I totally agree with you on this strange name situation. Here's
the story: Farmer Maggot used to be Farmer Baggins, a less wealthy but no
less kind member of the family. However, Drogo Maggot managed to steal the
name from the poor farmer through an underhanded deal involving the mushroom
traffic in the Shire. The whole thing was covered up in an elaborate scheme.
It's a testament to the poor hobbit's character that he continues to be such
a nice guy even under the "Maggot" monkier. (Julie of the pointed ears)
ROFLAO!!!
* His "Now That's What I Call Polka!" CD. Poor Farmer Maggot was quite
broken up about it. (Anamírë) also ROFLMAO!!
* Steal? Who said anything about stealing? It was a loan, for goodness sake!
jordan_the_discursive
* His trousers and braces (River-Woman)
* His collection of Playelfs. (GawaintheStout, luinfalathiel, JessLynn)
* He's daughter’s, ahem, innocence (please tell me farmer maggot has a
daughter no younger then 19, or im gonna look like a total perv), you know
what they say about farmers daughters (Idaho)
* His Beatles collection (Mrs. Boromir)
* He stole his scarecrow, hoping it would lead him to Oz. (TTT Ultimate Fan)
* his freakish collection of Goldberry's hair and toenails (huorn)
* His collapsible scythe, which whirred and opened at the words, "Go, go,
Maggot!" (Frodo Gardner)
* In a fraternity prank gone horribly wrong, Frodo was caught stealing Mrs.
Maggot's hobbity unmentionables. (Elwen)
* The only strawberry-scented foot-hair soap to be had in the Shire.
Carnimírië
* his lucky carrot slinger (Joelle)
* His LOTR action figures (Seillib)
* The secret of fire. (Pukel-man)
* His pitchfork. Ringwraiths are skeered of pitchforks. (Aydria Elenlinn)
* His newspaper--every single morning (Randraug)
* Mushroom-scented shampoo (SonOfSaradoc)
* Three silk nightgowns and a "Vickleberry's Secret" catalog (Varda's
Songbird)
4.What was the hobbits' first order of business when reaching Frodo's new
house in Crickhollow?
* Papa John's and prank calls to the shopping channel Pukel-man (ROFLMAO and
I love P.J’s, and I can’t get it here!!)
* Cranking up the stereo, tapping the keg, and firing up the barbecue grill.
(jordan_the_discursive)
* Reading the minutes from their last meeting and electing a new president
for their club, the "No Icky Hobbit Girls Association". (The Trees of Yavanna)
*To make a plan about how to escape the Nazgul. They decided to leave Fatty
Bolger alone as bait, facing a terrible and brutal death, while they snuck
out the back (DAS)
* Airing out the place, the brandybuck family funk was unbearable (Idaho)
* Getting rid of those vertical blinds, they are so 1370's
(Foe-Hammer_of_Gondolin)
* To flea bomb it for insects and wandering Nazgul (Miriel Telcontar)
* Well if they're like typical men, they stood outside the house for 2 hours
talking about what great time they made travelling and how bad the traffic
was. (Elwen)
* getting those mushrooms away from Frodo while he was bathing and helpless.
( a nasty trick if you as me.) (Baranostiel)
* Check their fanmail (Marigold Gamgee)
* They danced the macarena. Hobbit housebreaking traditions... (Sandicomm)
* They opened the door and went inside (LOTR_nutcase)
* They couldn't decide so they played paper, rocks, scissors. (WhiteAslan)
* Learning the choreography to "Silmarillion: The Musical." (y'know, the
high kicks) (Aydria Elenlinn)
* Unclogging the toilet; Pippin had a wee bit too much to eat.
(LadyOfTheLibrary)
* Check the TORn main page (ThirdOrcOnTheLeft)
* Went to the bathroom, because Sam wouldn't let them stop at the Stop n' Go
along the way (he thought the bathroom was too unsanitary to let his
precious Frodo use). (karen the magnificent)
* Change the name from "Crickhollow" to "Chicks?Heeeelllo!" Welcome to the
hobbit luuuuuv shack! (ringers rock!)
* Lather, rinse, repeat, lather, rinse, repeat, lather, rinse, repeat,
lather, rinse, repeat, lather, rinse, repeat, lather, rinse, repeat . . .
(SonOfSaradoc)
* Installing a disco ball in the ceiling and knocking down a wall or two to
open up a dance floor. (Anamírë)
* All they could do was stand there like morons and wonder how four hobbits
could lug a full keg up from the basement. (PinkOliphaunts)
* Second breakfast? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Supper? Depends on when they
arrived... (Eärendil The Mariner)
* To find their rubber duckies ;) Rubber Duckie, you're the one, You make
bathtime lots of fun, Rubber Duckie, I'm awfully fond of you..... (Nuala)
* fix up a timesharing chart for the bathroom (Varda's Songbird)
5. What secret were Merry, Pippin and Sam keeping from Frodo?
* They'd stuck a sign on his back reading, "Kiss me, I'm Shirish" - Frodo
later wondered if the elves of Rivendell weren't just a little too friendly,
if you catch my drift. Frodo Gardner (ROFLMAO!)
* That the purple dress really didn't become him. (The Trees of Yavanna)
* that he was really an Elf and 6' tall. (River-Woman)
* They had enrolled him in the "pipe-weed of the month" club. "They didn't
know he was already a member!" (GawaintheStout)
* They caught him when he was picking his nose on Bilbo's 111 birthday
party. (Elfmei)
* The plans for a big surprise party at Mt. Doom where they’ll tell him the
fuss over the Ring was all just a big joke of Gandalf’s. (Mrs. Boromir)
* That they all had invented a game called "teek" and made up rules for
FrodoTTT Ultimate Fan
* Tig is a made up game. (Elwen)
* That Frodo's fly is open (Miriel Telcontar)
* They were going to be starring in the upcoming nude version of
"Silmarillion: The Musical" They wanted to surprise him on opening night
(SunnyJim)
* That Pippin had fed the Ring to one of Farmer Maggot's pigs and secretly
replaced the one in Frodo's pocket with one he'd found in a box of Cracker
Jacks (Uitlander)
* "Frodo, we are your father's brother's, uncle's former roommates..."
(Baranostiel)
* That they see dead people (Sandicomm)
* They had told Frodo all they had for supper was bread and some jam, but
actually they had killed the fox and eaten it without him. (Julie of the
pointed ears)
* That they he was balding....and they knew how sad he'd be if they knew he
had hairless feet (Joelle)
The half-ton of oranges concealed in his walls (Pukel-man)
* That they were in the Mafia, and that they KNEW what Frodo did last
summer. They were not pleased with Mr. Baggins. For some reason, Sam, Merry,
and Pippin were wearing nice suits and fedoras. Their accents were a little
odd, too. Fodo woke up the next morning to find the head of his favorite
pony in his bed. (LadyOfTheLibrary)
* He was an intelligent squirrel they had adopted. (ThirdOrcOnTheLeft)
* Secret: How to lose a ring in 10 days (ringers rock!)
* There were actually members of the Free Masons...or closet 'Chicago' fans
(SarcasticElf)
* That Mulder was right all along. (Vidstige)
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