stuff 10-20-01   so sick so helpless so disgusting playing the victim the one that God damned for showing shine on this green earth and daring to try her hand at mirth   too much a coward to go and fight too much a coward to end the night too much a coward to leave my home too much a coward to go alone too much a coward to speak my mind too much a coward to hold inside too much a coward to stand and die too much a coward to stifle cry too much a coward to say no and too much a coward to let it go too much a coward to end my life and too much a coward to face my strife too undecided to be able to cope and too much a coward to to choose   killing the silence making the cables leap letting blood run warm for few faint frail fragmented seconds then ice returns the cables sleep and the silence is reborn SCREAM quiet. SCREAM quiet. no one can ever know the depths of my own personal tragedy sick of myself and i can't find the cure pity me pity me   if i said i was sorry you'd never accept you might say the words but they would be bereft and inside your heart you would never let go ever wondering knowing i thought so and in my heart i am not sure the kiss or anger which is the cure i can't really say but i do know this lie i know i am sorry and i am quite sure why i do know i'm sorry i know i should be i know i am hurting i know you hate me i know that we fight and i know that we scream i wish i could go sleeping away from this dream i am sorry.   by forthelove