Clarinet Jokes

Why did the cat play the clarinet?

Because he felt he could relate.

What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop a clarinet into little pieces.

Is there any difference between the sound of a clarinet and that of a cat in heat?

Of course there is, but only if the cat's in good health.

Why do clarinetists place their cases on the dashboard?

So they can park in handicapped spaces.

How many clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but he'll go through a whole box of bulbs before he finds just the right one.

What's the difference between a clarinet solo and scraping your nails down the blackboard?

Vibrato.

A guy walked into a store and saw a sign that read....

Saxophone Brains $5@lb

Tuba Brains $10@lb

Drummer Brains $20@lb

Clarinet Brains $100@lb

The guy asked the clerk, "Why do clarinet brains cost so much more a pound?" The clerk looks at him and says, "do you know how many clarinetist you have to go to get a pound?"

What's the definition of "nerd?"

Someone who owns his own alto clarinet.

What do you call a bass clarinetist with half a brain?

Gifted.

How do you get a Clarinet out of a tree?

Wave to them.