X, a Parody

(After everybody wakes up and finds out that it was all a dream.)

Kishuu Arashi gets engaged to Arisugawa Sorata. Five days later she dumps him. This is because she discovers that he's been cheating on her with Kanoe, who decides that she ain't gonna take anybody's leavings, and ditches him for Daisuke Saike, who by that time is a prominent politician campaigning for the mayor's office.

Between appropriating campaign funds donated by Kanoe's admirers and wisely planned investments in soap(land)s, they amass a huge fortune, which they invest in institutes of education, including CLAMP Campus, which has finally gone broke. One of the more distinguished looking professors at the Campus is Sorata, who lectures in advanced trigonometry and recently was voted as the "Most Serious Person" on campus. He also has a part time job as an inspector of high schools, such as Arashi's.

Arashi, by now, has married Kigai Yuuto, and is chiefly famous as the only high school principal who has long, permed blonde hair (which never has any sign of dark roots showing,), and for her trademark sailor suits.

She has taken over the school where Nataku teaches. He, by the way, has a Ph.D. in sex education. Arashi's husband, by the way, is now a new age "guru" with a flourishing fan base of a mix of middle aged housewives, teenage fangirls, as well as other people of all sexes and ages. He has published several best-selling books, including the acclaimed, "Their Destinies were Foreordained: Baby Names for Success (And to make sure your baby doesn't ever have to suffer from all sorts of nasty disasters)".

They regularly eat at an ice cream, French crepe and hot dog restaurant operated by Monou Fuuma and Sakurazuka Seishirou, in the entertainment hub of Shinjuku. They took up that restaurant as a last ditch job after their previous business venture, Sakura Bedlinen (Handmade) failed. (Customers kept complaining that they would find their kids or spouses disappearing leaving only sakura petals behind.) (By the way, Fuuma and Seishirou also run a children's orphanage in their spare time, and have been cited for several awards for their "civic and compassionate" behavior.)

The restaurant, as well as the company that published Yuuto's books is owned by Shirou Kamui and Sumeragi Subaru, who, set up a very successful dot com company. Their IPO was really good, and their stock price makes them the richest people in the world. This is partly due to the amount of hostile takeovers that they have executed, the most notable of which is the acquisition of Beast.

This was partly achieved due to the fact that Yatouji Satsuki had eloped with Shiyuu Kusanagi to a remote Caribbean island where they live on coconut milk and fish. They both wear only palm leaves. This island disguise is so that they can be free from the clutches of Nekoi Yuzuriha, who runs a successful pet care company that also sells dog food.

Yuzuriha was recently embroiled in a battle to acquire Haagen Daz. One of her company's best selling lines is the dog fashion lines, designed by Hinoto, who decided that being blind and paralysed didn't mean that she had to be stuck in the Diet building basement forever.

She runs a fashionable hair salon cum boutique, with Hien and Souhi her faithful models and assistants. Karen, the world famous Hollywood special effects designer, also wears her clothes. She writes yaoi and yuri adventure/romance novels in her spare time, one of which won her a Nobel Prize and a Pulitzer Prize.

Coincidentally, her constant companion, Kuzuki Kakyou, the world's champion weightlifter who has seven titles beneath his belt, also attended the prize-giving ceremony. He is listed in the Guinness Book of records as the only person ever to compete in the dream-weight category.

End