Neil tries so hard to have a stone façade, but I know that his soul is tortured. His life isn’t perfect. His journeys have isolated him from any significant human interaction, and he refuses to tell me where he was for a three week period earlier this year… it’s like he just disappeared from the face of the earth. I have my suspicions, but he refuses to talk about it. Maybe Jack knows. And where did he come from?
Neil told me how he feels, but I know him well enough to see the truth. He’s not sure. Jeez, I don’t even know how I feel! I once thought I loved him, but he left me. He had to, I can’t blame him for that. He forfeited his first chance at trainership to study for another eight or nine years. Could I honestly ask him to throw it all away to stay with me? Dammit all! Do I still feel the same? I could hear slow drum beats, matching the rhythm of my heart… the battle was underway. He would be wondering where I was. If I still really care for him, I should go… but what if I don’t?! What should I do? I rested against a gray stone wall in the labyrinth of the stadium. Faint sunlight shone off an adjacent wall far away. I closed my eyes, inhaled deeply, and clenched my fists tightly. My decision was made.
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