In the dead of the night, a lone female figure approached a set of doors on Terra Venture. Glancing around her, she checked one last time to make sure that no one was watching. She punched in the code and snuck in.
Once inside, she carefully closed the door again, and waited for her eyes to adjust to the darkness. Surveying her surroundings, she spied her target, sleeping on his bunk, unaware of the danger he was in. His roommate was asleep on the bunk above, also blissfully unaware. Dismissing the roommate, the woman approached the bottom bunk, carefully removing her weapon at the same time. At the man's side, she carefully took hold of a lock of his hair. With her scissors, she began to snip.
This will teach him to complain when I get a hair cut! Especially since this is the first one he's had in five years! I don't know how many times I complained about his wretched perm, and he did nothing. Yet I cut off five measly inches, and he throws a hissy fit! she thought to herself, cutting lock after lock, oddly reminded of the Sampson and Delilah story from the Old Testament. Wonder if he'll be powerless after this.
She chuckled evilly at the thought. It must have been the chuckle that did it, since her victim suddenly woke up.
"Kim?!? What are you doing?" Tommy yelled, waking up to find most of his hair lying next to him on his bed.
"Well, you objected when I got a haircut last week. So, I decided it was time you had one," Kim responded, gesturing wildly with her scissors.
"What the hell? I object because you cut your hair without my permission, and you use that to make me look like Zordon?" he yelled back, running a hand across his now short hair.
"Oh, please. Like you would actually look like Zordon. Don't flatter yourself," Kim retaliated, taking a jab at his overinflated ego.
"Oh, this coming from Miss Helmet Hair?"
"At least I have hair!"
"Well, you had great hair until you had the nerve to cut it last week! You knew how much I loved your long hair, but nooooooooo, you had to go get it cut because ‘you wanted a change.' Piece of advice, Kim. Change ain't always a good thing."
"Well, if you liked my hair so much, HAVE IT!" Kim grabbed her plastic baggie that she had filled with pieces of hair from her own haircut, and began to throw the hair at Tommy.
Tommy, who was still lying in his bed, sat up straight, smacking his head on the bunk above him. Rubbing his forehead, he grabbed some of the pieces of his hair lying on the bed and threw them back.
Jason, Tommy's roommate, chose now to wake up. Sitting up carefully, he saw Kim, clad in a black bodysuit and holding a plastic baggie of hair, throwing wildly at his roommate. Tommy, wearing only a pair of red sweatpants, had lost some hair since the night before. Jason blinked, just to make sure his eyesight wasn't wrong. Nope, still there. Or rather, still not there. On the left side of Tommy's head, his hair was an inch long, if that. On the right, there were just a few locks at more than a foot long. Tommy was also throwing pieces of hair back at Kim. There was only one thing that Jason could do in a situation like this.
Make popcorn.
Carefully avoiding the flying pieces of hair, Jason made his way across the room and made some popcorn, occasionally ducking as pieces of hair came flying his way. The microwave pinged, letting Jason know that the popcorn was done. He happily took the popcorn to the couch and settled down to watch, idly noting that the pieces of Tommy's hair were easier to pick up, but didn't get the kind of distance the pieces of Kim's hair were getting.
"Oh, come on, Mister Technicolor Tommy, you can't do any better than that?" Kim taunted, as Tommy's throws ended up falling a few feet short of their target.
With a growl, Tommy grabbed some of the pieces of Kim's hair and began to throw those.
"See, this just proves that your hair wasn't good enough for anything! Not only did you look horrible, it gets pretty crappy distance when thrown! I did you a favor!" Kim retaliated, as she was hit with hair for the first time in the fight.
"I did NOT look horrible. That was how I'm supposed to look. My hair is naturally curly!"
"Hate to say it bub, but nature made a mistake there."
Point: Kim. Jason thought, mentally keeping score.
"Oh, you mean like the one it made when it made you?"
Point: Tommy.
"Poor poor thickheaded Tommy. So delusional. It's sad, really."
By now, Jason could barely see the two combatants, as there was hair everywhere. Wonder who's gonna clean all this up he thought idly, before dismissing it. Eh, I'll just make Tommy do it. He's always trying to get out of the cleaning in the first place.
"Isn't there a mall you should go inflict yourself on?"
"Well, when I get there, I'll make sure to make you an appointment for your hair cut!"
Point: Kim.
"Why? Aren't you going to finish the job?"
"Like I'd actually want to come near you again."
"Ahhh! There's hair in my eyes!"
"Ew ew ew...I think I swallowed a curl! Your hair tastes nasty! You do know what a shower is for, don't you?"
"Course I do. But maybe now you'll keep your mouth shut while someone's throwing hair at you!"
Point: Tommy.
"That's what you'd like, isn't it? A girlfriend who just looks pretty and never says a word?"
"Apparently not, because I chose you, and you don't fit either!"
"Well, why did you choose me?" Kim yelled, her voice rising.
"Because I love you!" Tommy yelled back, at the top of his lungs.
"So do I!"
The hair abruptly stopped flying. Jason watched as his two friends stared at each other, chests heaving as they struggled to catch their breath.
"So," Kim said after a pause, "we still on for that date tomorrow to the Mountain Dome?"
"You bet," Tommy replied, crossing the battle lines and giving her a hug.
"You better stop by and get your hair fixed before you go to work," she noted, toying with the remaining long strands.
"Good idea."
"You know, if you had just woken up a minute later, I could have got it all. Well, back to bed. Night, Tommy."
"Night, Kim."
As Kim turned to leave, she was hit with a piece of popcorn. She whirled around, only to see Jason grinning at her.
"Don't forget your scissors."