Chapter 1

The sun was setting somewhere off the west but there was still around an hour of decent light left. Stepping off the bus he kept his eyes sensitive to all shiny objects, hoping to maybe find enough to recompense him with a ride home. The bus fare had gone up considerably and now sat at a lofty $2.50 for all students and adults. He only had a buck 25 and an American penny, which most likely would not be accepted.

He continued walking in the direction of his bus root, but by now was pretty sure he'd never get enough money to catch the bus. Flipping his hair to the side, he deplored his conscience decision not to wear a hat that morning. He had never bothered himself with the teenaged obligation to bleach his hair, it had simply turned out blond. More by accident than by choice he was becoming more and more towheaded as the days went by from the natural lightening of the sun. His head throbbed from his right temple. Feeling the ablation of his skull he decided he would wear a hat the next day and salvage what few brain cells that had endured through the day.

It was getting darker. Finally outside of the downtown area a woman approached him. She wanted some spare change. Had she been about 20 years younger and a heck of a lot prettier he may have considered dispensing the small amount of change in his possession, but not to her. The woman seemed slightly put out as he mumbled "sorry" and breezed past. She swore at him and swiped at the back of his head. He simply walked on.

It was nearing dusk by the time he entered his old neighbourhood. Months earlier he had moved about six blocks north. Nostalgia kicked in as he passed his old home and he decided he would drop by Taylor's while he was there. The two boys had grown up a block apart until nine moths ago but still continued to do everything together.

From the street Taylor's youngest sister Zoe could be seen doing some sort of dance on the lawn. Upon nearing closer he could see Zachary and his possible girlfriend watching her from the porch. He stopped a distance away, not to divert Zoe's concentration but her keen eyes spied him promptly. She sprinted towards him with open arms giving him no choice but to pick her up and transport her back to the porch.

"Hey Zac." He addressed the adolescent with a nod of the head, he than smiled at the young girl of the same age beside him. She smiled and waved back playing with her hair.

"Hey Ashley how was work?" Zac grinned knowing Ashley now had to do twice as much work since his brother had quit.

"Fine." Ashley answered handing the fidgeting Zoe back over to her brother.

"Taylor upstairs?"

"Where he always is."

"Thanks, bye." He waved as he closed the screen door behind him.

Normally the house was a fortress of activity.  Today it was somber and quiet. Through the sliding glass door Ashley could see several of the other family members in the backyard. He continued up the stairs. Finding Taylor's room vacant Ashley climbed up to the attic.

The attic was the pointed room ominously impending over the rest of the home. The floor boards were cracked and worn, sprinkled with dust and roach droppings. As expected, peering through the small vented window, absorbing the perishing rays of light was the happily situated Taylor.

"Hey." Ashley made his way over, folded at the waist to avoid the ceiling.

"Fun day?" Taylor chuckled slightly, not moving except for his lips.

Ashley grumbled and sat down. Taylor's notorious note pad and black pen were clumsily flung beside him but the pad was, as always, closed.

"Wanna hang-out, outside?"

"In a moment."

Ashley waited. The light rays became darker and dimmer and still Taylor didn't move, his eyes were closed.

"Taylor, what are you doing?" He finally asked half already knowing.

"Listening."

"For what?"

"The summer."

Ashley fell silent and closed his eyes. He had never been able to appreciate things on such a spiritual level as Taylor but he had always tried.

As children, Taylor and Ashley had immediately bonded. They met in the hospital, when both mothers had gone into labour the same night but the four hours between the births separated the boy's birthdays. Ashley being the eldest by a day. Their mothers were both placed in the same room and both demanded their babies stay with them. It was then, apparently, that the boys decided they would be best friends. Once they had been formally introduced, shown off and admired by both mothers they began demanded meals at the same time. If one laughed the other laughed. If one cried the other cried. If one slept the other would also have to sleep or else he would wake the other up. It was an odd yet interesting cycle. After the day came to leave the hospital the mothers stayed in touch. Ironically enough, two months into the boys lives Taylor's father got a teaching job in Ashley's area. So they moved, and the Hanson's and Lawrence's became neighbours.

When Ashley opened his eyes, he saw the glow of the street lamps and Taylor opening the floor board to get out.

"What, were ya just gonna let me fall asleep up here?" His accusation made Taylor stop and look at him for the first time.

"Wouldn't kill ya."

"Probably would with all the bugs up here."

"No need to be cynical." Taylor replied somewhat amused. "C'mon lets go outside. Spring's head is in the noose yet it's not quite hung. Let's go enjoy the rest of it."

Taylor was already on the stairs to the main floor when Ashley was pushing the fold-down ladder back into the attic. Ashley had always had sensitive ears, loud noises seemed to be redundantly fierce to him. So he tried to slide the ladder in without letting it bang. He almost had it too, until the embittered ladder stung back and by reflex was tossed in place with a crash. Taylor came, full turn up the stairs.

"What happened?"

Ashley was quietly cursing the vexatious hunk of wood.

"I gave me a sliver."

"I'm sure it hardly meant to."

"It did! The stupid piece of trash belongs in a fire heap!" Ashley shook his wounded finger at the unremorseful object.

"No wonder it gave you a splinter. Do you always call it names likes that?"

The question was rhetorical but was answered with a grun

Ashley stepped into the kitchen to find a pin to dig the wood from his flesh. He searched the top drawer, which was the common place to chuck small idle objects without a real dwelling within the home. Almost instantaneously his finger was pricked by a lost sowing needle with bright orange thread. Taylor poured himself some water and turned on the radio. Amused, he watched Ashley's face as he poked himself repeatedly with the needle. At last, Ashley became impatient and put the needle down.

"Ya gonna let it live there?" Taylor asked fidgeting with the radio dial. He found a channel eventually but turned it down. Zoe was singing for Zachary and his friend. It was always nice to hear her songs. They were surprisingly good for a three-year old.

"Pass me a knife, a sharp one." Ashley's request stole Taylor from his trance. Obediently he volunteered the newest knife.

"You gonna cut the finger right off?"

"No, just the splinter."

Taylor grabbed the knife back.

"What?"

"I'm gonna cut the splinter out." Ashley explained calmly.

"No you're not! Not in my house. Go sever your finger somewhere else."

"Taylor stop being stupid give me the knife."

"I'm being stupid! Here just go poke yourself again." Taylor was holding the knife with one hand and the needle with the other.

"Gimme the knife!" Ashley pushed Taylor with the injured limb and grabbed hold of the knife handle. Taylor fought against the hand and tried to force Ashley to take the needle back.

"Leg'go of the knife."

"You're gonna poke me with that stupid needle. Stop it!"

The front door slammed and before the boys knew what happened, Taylor was being pushed.

"Get out of my way."

"Ow!"

The knife hit the floor.

"Aagh!"

"I'm bleeding."

"What the heck are you doing playing with a butcher knife!?"

"It's a carving knife."

"I'm bleeding!"

"Oh my goodness did it chop anything off!?"

"You jabbed the pin in my finger!" Ashley waved the finger still pierced by the needle in front of Taylor and his older brother Isaac.

"That's disgusting." Taylor declared.

Isaac pushed passed them both snapping, "Would one of you pick up that butcher knife before it kills one of us."

"It's a carving..."

"Pick it up!" Isaac snapped cutting Taylor off.

"No."

Ashley pulled the needle out, bitting his bottom lip. It had gone half way in, but on the optimistic side it hurt a lot less when he took the splinter out. Clogging the abysmal bleeding with a white quilted paper towel, he put the knife in the dishwasher. The amount of tension within the room was noticeable.

Taylor, who was commonly the calm member of the family was fuming. With glaring cougar eyes, his suddenly reddened skin radiated with his determination to control himself. Isaac, on the other hand, was not known for his self control. He was temperamental to say the least but always held a large amount of dignity and pride.

Isaac opened a cupboard, oddly phlegmatic, without so much as a glace at his brother. Placing a bowl and cereal box on the counter, he paused, milk carton in hand, regarding the recent night. The silence seemed to loosen a great deal of anxiety and allowed the evening's accents to drift in.

Zoe was still singing, that girl never seemed to stop. Only now Zac and his friend had softly joined in. The sliding glass door was open to the screen layer to block the flies but allow the humid breeze. From the back yard came the faint chatterings and giggles of the rest of the family. The Hanson's were a large family. Now with Isaac being the oldest at 18 and Zoe the youngest, it was hard to find a time they were all together.

Taylor grumbled, turning to the radio and increasing its volume. Isaac shifted his glance from the window but hardly noticed. Ashley opened the junk drawer and pitched back the needle with orange thread.

"What's been up with you lately?" Taylor's voice remained subdued but came so suddenly it made Ashley jump.

Isaac's gaze became hard and his jaw tightened. "Nothing."

"You've been storming around all week, what's wrong?" Taylor tried to become more sympathetic, studying his brother's face. Abruptly Isaac turned away from the window and poured the milk in silence. Ashley sat down. The radio seemed to be getting louder as the stillness went on.

"Turn that thing off!" Isaac scolded no one in particular. Ashley flicked the knob off, he wondered wether the bleeding had stopped.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just shut up!" Isaac snapped forcing himself to look at his brother. He tried to stare Taylor down, make him think twice about bothering him again. Taylor wasn't fooled. Isaac looked weak and almost pleading for strength. He looked away and searched for a spoon.

"Isaac..."

"Shut up!" Isaac's teeth were visibly clinched and his eyes were fixed and glazed over. He had the same expression he had held all through his grandmother's funeral six months prior. He never cried once. Taylor hated to see him like that. It was worse not knowing how to stop it. Though they hardly ever got along Isaac was his closest sibling. They had a bond much like twins although they were almost complete opposites. If Isaac hurt Taylor hurt, which forced them more out of selfishness at times to look out for one another.

"Isaac you have to stop this, just tell me what's going on." Taylor was serious.

"Nothing I'm fine!"

"Where's Lisa?" Taylor took a stab in the dark. Lisa was Isaac's girlfriend of four years. They had broken up before but Isaac had never acted this bad.

"We're not together any more."

Taylor was relieved. He had given the 'don't worry you'll get back together' speech a million times.

"She probably just needs a little time. You'll get back together."

"No . . . " Isaac's voice cracked and he stopped. His lip trembled but he bit it to stay still. It obeyed, but the rest of him didn't. His hands shook and he put the spoon back in the bowl of untouched cereal. Taylor became worried but continued cautiously.

"You know she loves you, she'll be back."

"No Taylor"

"She will."

"She's dead."

Taylor fell silent. He forced his voice but it came out in a whisper.

"What?"

"She's dead Taylor." Isaac looked up at him as if he were only just realizing that himself. "She slit her wrists.  She's dead." He looked back at the cereal.

Silence smothered the room. All remaining words to be said were forgotten. The faint tune of the ABC's filtered in from the porch as Zoe's privet concert went on. Isaac exited the kitchen and wondered up to his room. Taylor sat in shock.

Third

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