The (Un)-Fair Sex

Every time the term 'Fair Sex' crops up in conversation, I'm reminded of a quote by Schopenhauer : "It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulse that could give the name 'fair sex' to the under-sexed, narrow shouldered, broad hipped and short legged race."

Please don't get me wrong.  I am not a misogynist nor do I suffer from gynophobia.  In fact, I totally agree with John Dryden: "As for women, though we scorn and flout them, we may live with but we cannot live without them."

I find nothing fair about the members of the fair sex.  to me they epitomise double standards.  To quote an unknown source: "Women consider men vulgar when they stare at what women are trying their best to exhibit."

And all this talk of it being a man's world is pure balderdash, poppycock and gibberish.  Just look around you friends - on celluloid, on the idiot box, on massive hoardings, on magazine covers - everywhere you find the dominance of the female or rather the female anatomy.  Who wants male models with every advertisement from batteries to beedis and computers to condoms being hogged by the female of the species?  The last straw was the ad I saw the other day.  It was for men's trousers and had a woman sporting them?  Now tell me, dear friend, who wears the pants in the family?

God, it is said, created the world and slept.  Then God created man and slept.  Finally he created woman.  And since then neither God nor man has ever slept.

Mythology and history proves this.  If it hadn't been for Eve would paradise have been lost?  If Pandora hadn't been as curious as the proverbial cat would mankind have suffered so much?  If Cleopatra's nose had been a little shorter wouldn't the course of history have changed for the better?  And if it hadn't been for Helen would the thousands of ships sailed?  The enchantress Circe and the Singing Sirens are others of the species who have proved deadlier than the male.

In good ol' Bharat too the Nari has always landed the Nar in real trouble.  If you don't agree with me just reflect : If Kaikeyi hadn't been selfish and Sita foolish would Lord Rama have suffered so much?  And to cap it all, if Draupadi hadn't been insolent would there have been a Kurukshetra?

Moving to modern times we find the scenario just the same.  Look at the West : if Monica hadn't shown such a fascination for cigars and positions of the oral kind would millions of dollars of taxpayers' money and trillions of minutes of the average American's time have been so foolishly spent?  In the East if the resident sphinx of the Congress and the Empress of Idlypuram had put a temporary leash on their lust for power the elections could have easily been avoided.

In our society the worst specimen of womankind is the so called liberated female.  She does not know her own mind.  In the grand process of liberating herself she only ends up acting like the male.  The increasing number of women are getting wooed by Bacchus and charmed by the 'cancer stick' and the numerous females (both young and old) flocking to male strip tease joints and panting for the Full Monty are classic examples.  I am in complete agreement with Brigette Bardot who said, "Woman get more unhappy the more they try to liberate themselves."

And every time I see a 'liberated' female, I wish Adam's ribs had been left intact!

- Ramendra Kumar