IRV: I see.
EDNA: The whole thing just pissed me off. I thought I'd dealt with that stuff a long time ago, when now I'm thinking maybe I didn't because... this whole past week... well... I've been missing him, Irv. Maybe I should've told you from the get go but it just didn't feel right.
IRV: Why not?
EDNA: Because. You're not supposed to make me feel better about missing the husband I had before you. That's just... past backwards.
IRV: Edna, I love you. You wouldn't be you without Hal Senior. You wouldn't even be you without that nutter butter son of yours who, I happen to know, means the world to you.
[Edna gives an 'oh please' look.]
IRV: Now, I don't need you to pretend that you didn't have a life before me. I just need to be able to put my arms around you when you're sad. Even if you are sad over someone else.
EDNA: I guess you can do that.
IRV: OK. I guess I will then.
[She cuddles up to him and he kisses her on the cheek.]
[Cut to the Abbott household. Breakfastime. Dr. Abbott walks into Bright, who is sitting eating breakfast alone.]
DR. ABBOTT: Bright. Is there anything you want to talk to me about?
[Bright looks at him in disbelief for a moment.]
BRIGHT: I am so sorry, Dad. It's just a scratched bumper and it's not even my fault. I'm pulling out of this space and this lady comes flying in...
DR. ABBOTT: [interrupting him] ...No. Let, let me put it another way. Is there anything you need to be tested for? Medically?
BRIGHT: Can I get something from a scratched bumper?
DR. ABBOTT: Concerning the STD at your school.
BRIGHT: Alright. Dad, I'm gonna let you in on something that may blow your mind. Do you think you can handle it?
DR. ABBOTT: I doubt it, but try me.
BRIGHT: OK. Do you remember Elka, from The Real World. The Boston one?
DR. ABBOTT: I-I must have missed Boston.
BRIGHT: Well... Elka, was supremely hot. But, she never sealed the deal with her boyfriend because she had all these, like, religious beliefs.
DR. ABBOTT: A-ha.
BRIGHT: Well... I'm kind of like Elka. In that I'm very attractive but I haven't... you know, done anything. You know...
DR. ABBOTT: [realizes] Oh!
BRIGHT: So my reasons have less to do with religion, more to do with the fact that my girlfriends won't, which is why I'm sooo done with Freshmen. Anyway, I didn't want you worrying about me anymore. But, if you could keep this info between us, you know?
[Dr. Abbott nods, relieved for the news he's just heard.]
DR. ABBOTT: Well, son. This is the best talk we've ever had.
[He sits and contemplates it all, then realizes.]
DR. ABBOTT: You scratched the bumper!
[Bright quickly gets up and leaves.]
[Cut to Magilla's room. He and Delia are playing video games.]
MAGILLA: I'm bored. I've beat you like seven thousand times on this game.
DELIA: Yeah, I know. Not too fun for me, either.
MAGILLA: Wanna play something better?
DELIA: OK.
[He opens his wardrobe and goes for a large chest.]
MAGILLA: Help me push it out.
[Delia grabs one end of the chest and they pull it out into the room. Magilla opens it and Delia's eyes go wide. The chest is full of various dolls neatly placed.]
DELIA: [mesmerized] Which one do I get? |
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