MRS. CLARK: Of course, she's sure. Good Lord, what kind of question is that?
DR. BROWN: Well, as her doctor, it's what I have to ask. I don't mean to make anyone feel uncomfortable.
MRS. CLARK: Well, I believe she answered your question. She's never had sex. She's a virgin.
DR. BROWN: Well, I-I hate to hint back, Mrs. Clark, but ah I still have a diagnosis which contends that your daughter has in fact engaged in some sort of sexual activity.
SUSIE: Well, I've never done anything that can get me pregnant. And, that's what sex is, right, Mom?
[Dr. Brown gives Mrs. Clark a look and she shoots one at her daughter. She snatches the lollipop out of Susie's mouth.]
[Cut to Mrs. Clark dragging Susie out of the clinic by the arm.]
DR. BROWN: Feel free to call me if you have any more questions.
EDNA: I never would've thought little Susie Clark had it in her. It's always the quiet ones.
DR. BROWN: That's the second girl I've seen this week and with the same misguided information. It's as if they've never even heard the term: safe sex.
EDNA: The most education these kids get about sex is how to spell it. Some of 'em can't even do that right.
DR. BROWN: Any idea what the schools are teaching?
EDNA: I'm not sure. But whatever they don't cover, HBO does. Fred Slauter's in the examining room. More bowel trouble.
DR. BROWN: Oh, joy.
[Edna cackles.]
[Cut to County High. Ephram and Wendell are walking down the hallway.]
WENDELL: [talking on his cellphone] Alrighty I'll have it around by two.
EPHRAM: Let me guess. Another one of your dealings in the student favor cartel.
WENDELL: That was my mom's mechanic. You'll find my reach extends far beyond our high school walls, Brown.
EPHRAM: Just out of curiosity, Wendell, when do you find time for things like... oh, I-I don't know, homework?
[Wendell stops, staring at his locker.]
WENDELL: An abundance of riches!
[Some of the lockers have wrapped branches stuck to them.]
EPHRAM: Why do you have pieces of nature hanging on your locker?
WENDELL: Are you aware of the Fall Dance that's coming up?
EPHRAM: I've seen some posters.
WENDELL: See, the Fall Dance is special in that it's one of the dances where the girls ask the boys and the way they ask, it's sort of a tradition around here. Once the girls have chosen an item, they tie a ribbon around it, sign their names to it, and place it on your locker as a way of formally inviting you. Check your lock.
EPHRAM: That's OK. I think I'll pass.
[He heads for his locker and perks up when he notices a branch stuck to it. He reads that it's from Amy and smiles.]
[Cut to Mama Joy's, the local diner.]
BRENDA: [entering, reading the paper] Well... it's official. They're tearing down the Kissing Bridge.
[She's talking loud enough for all the patrons to hear. Irv and Edna are also dining. The statement perks Edna's interest.]
BRENDA: Look, it even made the front page of the Pinecone.
EDNA: [snatching it] Let me see that!
BRENDA: They had to push Ms. Cartwright's wedding announcement to page 3, she's gonna be pitching a fit I can guarantee it.
EDNA: I'll be damned.
IRV: Are they really gonna tear it down?
EDNA: Bulldozers are coming in next week.
BRENDA: Well, I, for one, say it's about time. That thing has just been a safety hazard for years.
EDNA: Your mouth is a bigger safety hazard than that old bridge and nobody's torn you down... yet!
