EDNA: It's laziness is all. Bunch of sluggers run the world. People would rather destroy a historical monument than patch a damned hole!
IRV: Are you OK, honey?
[She storms out of the diner in a huff. Irv looks puzzled.]
BRENDA: I take it she had the chili again?
[Irv continues to stare into space.]
[Cut to the main street. Dr. Abbott is looking through boxes of apples at a fruit stand.]
DR. ABBOTT: Just as well I see you're trying to pawn off your Baldwins as Macoons again, Reginald.
[Dr. Brown pulls up behind him.]
DR. BROWN: Tell me that's not dessert.
DR. ABBOTT: The nightmare continues.
DR. BROWN: I have a modest proposal, Doctor.
DR. ABBOTT: You're donating your body to science to further the medical understanding of the North American Dimwit.
DR. BROWN: Close. I suggest, on occasion, we trade diagnoses of the local yokels.
DR. ABBOTT: For what purpose?
DR. BROWN: Oh, on the off chance we notice a pattern of sickness or disease developing in the community. Sound good? Great. I'll go first. Treated anyone for Gonorrhea of the throat lately? May have come in looking like Strep.
DR. ABBOTT: I'm familiar with Gonorrhea of the throat.
DR. BROWN: Not personally, I hope.
DR. ABBOTT: Listen here, Dr. Coco-Pops, if I treated anyone for anything, I wouldn't tell you about it. There's this little rule, it's called Doctor-Patient confidentiality. Perhaps you've heard of it.
DR. BROWN: Hypothetical. If a few cases of the same STD came into your office, what would you do?
DR. ABBOTT: Being a doctor, I suppose I would, oh, I don't know, treat them?
DR. BROWN: What if the patients didn't understand how they got the disease?
DR. ABBOTT: How could they not understand?
DR. BROWN: In their minds, a sexually transmitted disease can only be transmitted via sex. And in their minds, sex is...
DR. ABBOTT: [starting to get it] ...intercourse.
DR. BROWN: I wanna talk to the parents. Maybe figure out a way to talk to the kids too, about this.
DR. ABBOTT: About what?
DR. BROWN: About how to protect themselves. People in this town need to be educated about a few things.
DR. ABBOTT: The people in this town need to be educated about a lot of things, including how to parallel park. Luckily... I'm not here to teach them. Neither are you.
DR. BROWN: Isn't part of being a doctor, teaching people how to avoid getting sick? Especially young people?
DR. ABBOTT: Why are you so interested in this?
DR. BROWN: I have a son who goes to that school and so do you. Don't you want them to have all the information that we have?
DR. ABBOTT: So give it to him. Who's stopping you?
DR. BROWN: Well, what about the other kids?
DR. ABBOTT: Let their parents worry about them. Newsflash! You're not here to save the world, Dr. Brown... just to annoy it.
[Dr. Abbott walks into his practice. He says hi to a young man coughing in the waiting room. His nurse, a very timid woman, notices him.]
LOUISE: Hi, Dr. Abbott. Did you have a nice lunch?
[He hands his brown paper bag to her.]
DR. ABBOTT: [bluntly] No!
LOUISE: Oh. Ah, the Tompkins are in your office.
[She hands him the file but he doesn't accept it.]
