Went 5.6 miles in 25 minutes with an average speed of 13 MPH: total calories burned so far today: 250. I'm going to go swimming now, I'm so hot and tired though...I hope I don't fall down the stairs like I did this morning.

Meh...I had a protien (sp?) drink [250 calories] so I broke even. I felt so weak...I bent down to grab my swimsuit and I fell over 'cuz my head was spinning. I think I lay there for about ten minutes before the walls stood still. I don't think I'll make it down the three flights of stairs to the pool, but I'll try. I'm going to try. I really wish I had a scale so I could know if I lost any fat or not. I hope I did. I hope I'm a little bit thinner; a little bit more perfect. I'm so tired..

Okay...I had a slice of toast with butter and jam...and some ice cream (*gasp!*). Therefore making my total consumtion about 350 calories. Dad and I are are food shopping tonight, and then we'll have supper. As long as I keep it uner 1,000 calories I'm good. For supper: ham and cheese sandwhich (200), oj (100), and yogurt (200). Total for today: 850 calories.

Tomorrow night I'm going out with my dad to celebrate his birthday, so I'm going to try to fast all day.

Tuesday, June 28th: Raining and storming outside, didn't exercise at all. Went out with my dad for his birthday, consumed about 1,600 total calories.

Wednesday, June 29th: Biked 4.1 miles in the rain in 16 minutes with an average speed of 13.7 MPH. Total calories burned: 119. Right now I'm going to have a bowl of cereal (170 calories) and for supper I had: grilled steak [that I didn't touch, too much fat] with fried onions and mushrooms[100 calories], three cheese pasta[630 calories], and a small salad with ranch dressing[100 calories]. I think that is about 830 calories, therefore making my total calorie consumtion for today 1,000 calories. That isn't horrible, but I know I can do better. I will do better. I must, I must be thin.

Thursday, June 30th: I had a cup of peach yogurt [150 calories] late last night, and I'm going to try to go at least 10 miles on the bike today to make up for missing tuesday. I'm just so tired though, and I'm scared to step on the scale for fear of gaining. I'm not going to eat anything else today, not unless daddy forces me to. Shit; I'm sounding like a little anorexic girl again.

It's official, I've relapsed...

12:54pm - 8 miles in 51 minutes. (This next part might ve a little confusing, so bare with me.) I did the firsts 4 miles in 18 minutes with an average speed of 13.7 MPH [129 calories lost]. Then, I turned around to come back and was hit full-force with a 20 MPH wind. I went .1 miles and about 9.5 MPH [5 calories burned]. After that, I walked on and off for a total of 1 mile [about 65 calories]. I then finished the remaining 3 miles, but the wind was blowing so hard that I never got my speed above 10 MPH, but that still is about [75 calories burned]. In all, I burned about 275 calories; and I still haven't eaten anything (yet).

It was drizzling out when I was puting my bike in the garage, and now it's a downpour. I'm glad I got in just in time. Right now I'm going to go take a hot shower and weigh myself. *crosses fingers* I hope I dropped some weight!

2:32pm - I currently weigh 122.0 lbs. That's down .5 lbs. from yesterday! YAY! At this rate, I think I might actually make my goal of 120 by July 4th!

5:18pm - Went my remaining 2 miles in 9 minutes 28 seconds with an average speed of 13.2 MPH [70 calories burned]. That means that, so far, I have burned [340] calories today. Dad is going to the health club and didn't plan on making anything for super because there is still my left over steak that I didn't eat. So; I don't have to eat anything today. And I'm proud of myself because I burned so many calories. AND, I don't need to exercise on Sunday. Well; until tomorrow I guess.

Erm. I had a blueberry bagel [230] with butter [20] and a glass of orange juice [100]. That mean I consumed 350 calories. Only 10 more then I burned. Damnit. No, wait. I burned off 30 doing stairs, I forgot about that. So; I'm still good. Still took in less then I burned. I'm still in the negative. Good. Good. I'm so hungry...No. I will stay strong. I MUST stay strong.

Friday, July 1st: *yawn* My exercise journal for next week will look a lot better and a ton less cluttered when I'm done with it.

Eep. The freezer broke last night so now it reeks of dead/rotten fish in here. Eww...

Anyway, I went 1.6 miles in 8 minutes with an average speed of 14.0 MPH. My legs couldn't take any more so I came back and did stairs (doesn't make much sence, does it?). I'll bike ride later, it's only 10:56am anyway. Dad's getting off work early and we're going to go get a new freezer. I'm going to go take a shower now and weigh myself. Oh, and I burned [65] calories so far today. And I haven't eaten anything yet either. my plan is to fast all day and then eat something light about an hour before bed. I did that last nigh and when I woke up, I didn't get dizzy when I stood up and I felt really good.

Current weight: 120.5 lbs. Just another half pound to go and I meet my July 4th goal! YAY!

Well; dad's back from work now and we got the new freezer. I threw in a pizza for his lunch but I ended up eating a slice [200]. Damn. Oh well, at least it wasn't a lot. Meh, I broke down and had a little bowl of cereal (chocolate attact), but it was only [150] calories. Dad took my downtown and I had two little buffalo wings. I had a blueberry bagel at about 8 or 9pm, and that's [250] calories, and a bowl of cereal too; therefore making my total calorie intake to be about [920] calories. Damn. That's almost bad.

Saturday, July 2nd: Had a blueberry begal and some OJ [400 consumed]. Dad's on an all-day date so I don't need to actually eat anything, I'm not even sure why I did. I still need to go do my 2 miles, and it's hot so I might even go swim too.

I currently weigh 122.0lbs. 122 lbs.!!!! How the FUCK is that possible???!?!? Really now, I had under 1,000 calories last night, and only about 400 this morning. Plus I went on a bike ride (2 miles in 9 minutes, average speed of 13.5MPH= 70 calories burned). But WTF?!!? How can I gain 1.5 lbs. in a few hours?!!!!? GAH! I give up! My brain hurts. I think I'll go ride bike again and swim too. No food today, none. Not until I'm 120 lbs. I was SO close! How could I mess it up? HOW? *cries* I feel so worthless! HOW COULD I LET MYSELF FALL LIKE THAT? HOW?

Swam a few laps [10 calories burned maybe] and layed out for a little while. I'm going to go bike now, 2 miles or so to start with.

Meh, screw the bike, I've done that all week. I walked (yes, walked) 4.25 miles in 1 hour, 40 minutes [260 calories burned]. Add that to what I burned before, (260 + 70) = 330 calories burned. Almost broke even. I might do another mile or two on bike tonight, but I'm going to go cool off at the pool first and do a few laps. And I haven't eaten anything except that damn bagel today.

Went another 4 miles (in 19 minutes, average speed of 12.3 = 125 calories burned. Plus the ones burn before (330 + 125) = 455 calories burnt. *does the happy dance* Yay! I hope I droppen these two pounds soon, I really am getting hungry and bored. No one's online to talk to, I've watched all my movies at least four times (all 300 movies...) and well; damn. I'm bored, not really hungry, I just want something to do and I DON'T wanna clean anymore! I want to cook for someone, that's what I want to do.

Oh cool, I just noticed that I finally burned off that bagel. Wee. Actually, I burned of 55 more then the bagel. Yay.

Meh...Dad made strawberry shakes. Therefore meaning that I consumed 300 or so calories. Damn. Well; at least it's under 500...And I had planned on not eating anything until I dropped the two pounds. Damnit. That means I'll need to go burn it off tomorrow before we leave for the grill-out. That's gonna hard too, how can I not eat at that? How can I not gain after that? Shit, man.

Sunday, July 3rd: AHH! Shit! I gained another .5lbs! (Therefore making my weight 122.5lbs.) I'm not sure how. Maybe it's water weight, I hope it is. Dad says it's muscle. Like I believe that? WTF. I have had next to nothing to eat and I burned everything off, how can I gain?

Pizza and juice: 800 calories. Not bad for fasting all day...