Not Much of an Actress

Not Much of an Actress

By Claire Lickman

Disclaimer: The characters Louise, David, and Mark, and the story are all property of myself. Any likeness between any character and any person, living or dead, is purely coincidence. This story may not be sold and may be archived only with direct permission of the author. Any archive must carry this entire copyright statement.

Violence: There is no description of violence, but there are the results of it afterwards, eg cuts, bruises.

Sex: None.

Author's note: This was originally for my English GCSE personal and imaginative coursework, and since it got me a great grade and I was pretty impressed with the end result so I thought I'd post it up on my site to let other's read. Please feel free to comment on why you did or didn't like the story. Suggestions are also welcome, as long as they don't leave bruises. Please contact me before placing this on your own site.

"We're in this together, whatever happens. Remember that, Louise."

I hadn't expected anything less from him. He was my best friend and had already helped me through so much. It was a far cry from less than six months ago when he hardly seemed to care as we were paired together for a school project and he said that he only helped me out because he needed me alive for a good grade.

The day before, we had sat awkwardly next to each other, almost in silence, as our science teacher Miss Jones placed us in groups. We had never really talked before that so we didn't really know what to say to each other, although many of the people we hung around with were the same. It feels so strange now, that once we never knew each other, once we never spoke to each other, and once we hardly knew each other's names. In fact, the strangest thing is, if it wasn't for the school project, I doubt that we would have even properly met in the first place…

"God, our first study together and she's not here," David muttered irritably.

He had been waiting in the local library for nearly half an hour now, way longer than he had planned. Looking out into the street, where the cars rushed past, such a contrast from the busy, noisy world outside to the almost silent, working environment inside the building. Sighing, he looked at his watch. Was it worth waiting any longer?

As he went to turn away from the window, giving up, a car pulling up towards the library caught his eye. Filled with hope, he watched it intently. A tall, looming figure climbed out of the car, slamming the door angrily. David cursed under his breath. It was a male, about 6'2 in height, with dark spiked hair and glasses who looked about 17 years old, with a face like thunder. David frowned as another, smaller, huddled figure climbed out of the vehicle. He realised that, at last, Louise had arrived.

"It took her long enough to get here," he muttered again.

However, instead of waiting by the door, David decided to carry on watching the pair, curiosity filling him. He quickly realised why. Louise, shaking and stumbling, tried to make towards the library steps, but the male grabbed her arm roughly, stopping her. Tears poured down Louise's face as this man yelled angrily at her, though David couldn't make out what he was saying. It was only when he saw her like this that David realised just how small, vulnerable and frightened she looked as she cowered in fear from the taller, dominating angry man in front of her.

David carried on watching, wondering what the two were saying, as the 17 year old’s temper rose. Finally, it looked as though he had lost it with her, despite her pleas. David turned away in disgust as his hand rose. But, despite not wanting to see, he couldn't move away from the window. Looking back a few seconds later, he saw Louise clutching her face, as the male went to climb back into the car after yelling at her one more time. Louise, crying and screaming, begged him further to come back.

David couldn't understand it. He had just hit her. How could she not hate him? If it was him...

But no, it wasn't him. He hardly even knew her. What was he to say about what she should and shouldn't do? He didn't even know the guy's name, let alone what they were arguing about. But still, he shouldn't have hit a girl, no matter what it was over.

The car sped away, tyres screeching. Louise looked up at the library windows anxiously, hoping David hadn't looked out and seen what had happened. David jumped, quickly moving away from the window, wondering if he had been quick enough. Louise just hoped he hadn't seen everything that had happened between her and Mark.

Glancing into the glass doors of the grey building, Louise saw her already bruising face and wiped her eyes, desperately trying to calm herself down. Stepping into the library, she looked around for David, who was trying to look innocent and as though he hadn't seen anything, sitting at one of the desks.

"Hey." Louise smiled weakly, trying to act like she was fine, as though Mark's outburst over meeting David had never happened, despite his cruel words still echoing in her head.

"Hi, took you long enough to get here," David told her, and gestured to the seat next to him. "Let's get started."

Louise sat down self consciously, trying to cover her face. David tried not to stare at the new bruising on her face and handed her a book to make notes from. Louise cursed loudly after reaching down by her side.

"I'm sorry, I left my bag in Mark's car, it's got all my stuff in..."

"Mark?" David questioned, although he already knew the answer.

"Yeah, he's my boyfriend. He drove me here." Louise sighed. "I can't believe I left it there... have you got any paper and pens I could borrow?"

"Sure," David replied, pulling some sheets out of his notepad and a biro out of his pencil case. Louise touched her sore face, wincing, and David frowned in concern. "You alright?"

"Oh... yeah... I'm fine..." Louise answered, sounding distant. "I just... hit myself with a... oh... it doesn't matter. I'm fine." She quickly changed the subject and began to write notes down, leaving David not wanting to push it any further. It was probably just a one off for all he knew. Otherwise, surely she would have split up with him ages ago?

"I know that David, but I'm just so scared; I don't think I can survive this much longer."

Louise has to survive; she can’t just give up now after all I’ve done for her. I know she can do it – she survived Mark’s last attack. I was there for her then, and I had only known her for a short while at the time. If it hadn’t been for that, I would never have thought about helping her out, and I would probably never have one of the most amazing people I know in my life right now…

"Late again!" David sighed irritably, looking at his watch.

It was the fifth time now and he couldn't understand it. Even when she hadn't come back from Mark's she was late - sometimes fifteen minutes, sometimes half an hour. This was the first time, though, that she was over an hour late. He remembered that she was going to Mark's and getting a lift here, and decided that they just must have been busy and not noticed the time.

However, at the back of his mind, there was the feeling that they weren't just busy, remembering Louise's cowering, frightened face when Mark had dropped her off that first day, the now black eye left from where he had hit her, and the bruises on her arm he had seen when she had passed him a book off the shelf one hot afternoon when they were both dressed in shorts and t-shirts.

He tried to reassure himself that she was fine, but as the time wore on, he grew more worried. He knew deep down that she wasn't fine, but had no idea what to do. Surely her mobile would be switched off...?

Pulling the crinkled piece of paper out of his pocket where Louise had scribbled her mobile number down for him the day before, he ran towards the library's pay phone.

Just as he was about to throw the money in it urgently, he heard gulps of breath and the library doors opening behind him, footsteps staggering inside. He stopped quickly. He didn't dare turn around, dreading what he might see.

Slowly, he glanced over his shoulder, and gasped. The ten pence coin in his hand clattered to the floor, the sound echoing around the otherwise silent room. He couldn't speak, completely speechless with shock.

"Louise... I'm sorry..." was all he could say, but it was enough, as she ran towards him and collapsed in tears on his shoulder.

Her face was covered in the blood pouring from her nose and lip, while she clutched her ribs as though they had also taken a beating.

Still not able to believe what was before his eyes, he hugged her delicately in what he hoped was a comforting way, anger building up inside him. Not only at Mark, but at himself also - maybe if he had said something on that first day, things would have been different... she wouldn't be in this condition, this pain, right now... It was a stupid thought, he knew that, but still the guilt remained…

"Don’t worry, you will survive this.”

“Mark did this, didn’t he?” David asked a few days later, while they were walking along an almost deserted path in the town’s park after meeting up half an hour earlier. Louise nodded, confirming his fears. “And this isn’t the first time, is it? Like the first time we met, in the library, that bruise wasn’t from an accident, was it?” he asked again, but already knowing the answer. She nodded again, silent. “But why? What have you done to deserve this?”

Louise remained silent for a while, seeming reluctant, almost embarrassed to answer, gazing out across the desolate fields surrounding them.

“He thinks I’m going to leave him for you. He doesn’t want to lose me.”

“And so hitting you is going to make you stay?!” David exclaimed, not sure if he heard right. “If that’s what he’s worried about you’re just going to get pushed further away, not closer!”

“Maybe.” She sniffed, sounding as though she was trying not to cry again.

“No, it’s not maybe, it’s definitely. It’d put anyone off – you’re not supposed to hit girls, no matter what. Doesn’t he have any morals?”

She didn’t answer, sniffing again.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t believe that someone who says they love you this much would want to hurt you like this – in fact that anyone would want to hurt you. I know you care about him but you can’t go on like this with him, you can’t put up with much more of this, mentally or physically, especially if his attacks keep getting worse.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“Well, maybe not, but how much longer do you think you can cope?”

“I don’t know.”

They walked along in silence a little more, Louise occasionally reaching into her coat pocket for some tissue she’d grabbed from the library’s bathroom before they left for a walk around the park. He had been great so far, despite what he thought of Mark. It was easy for him to say it, but she couldn’t get rid of the person she cared about – despite how much she might want to.

“You know, I really wish I’d said something sooner, maybe then this wouldn’t have happened.”

“It’s not your fault – you couldn’t have done anything, besides, why would I have listened? You know how stubborn I can be,” Louise laughed weakly, but it turned into the start of another flood of tears, and David pulled her into his shoulder, trying to comfort her. “He can be the funniest, kindest, sweetest person I know, and the next he just turns on me… am I really that bad? What’s wrong with me?!”

David, startled by her sudden outburst, said, “there’s nothing wrong with you, it’s not your fault, he shouldn’t treat you like this… you could and should do so much better than this.”

“But I love him so much, I don’t want anyone else… is it so much to ask for him, for anyone, to care about me?!”

“I care. I’m here for you no matter what.”

“But why can’t he?! He used to be so sweet, all the time, we were the perfect couple, everyone was so jealous – me with a lovely, good looking 18 year old boyfriend with a good job and a car… all any girl could ever want from a man. And then, after four months of complete bliss, he started to get so angry. It scared me so much, and I just thought that it was nothing, that he was stressed out with work or something; that if only I was patient and put up with it for long enough, things would be OK. And he did change… he got worse.” Louise paused, to wipe her tears and catch her breath, beginning to get hysterical. David went to interrupt her, but she stopped him. She had to relieve the weight that had been on her shoulders all this time. “No, I’m okay, let me finish…

“He used to yell at me, nothing serious really, and then I tried to talk to him about it, find out why he turned on me, but he got angry, even more angry than I had ever seen him before… I was so frightened, we were round his so there was nothing I could do… it was the first time he hit me, I tried to leave but he stood by the door, he said it was my fault – my fault that I’d made him do it, my fault that he got so annoyed all the time, my fault for taking advantage of him, my fault for not caring enough. I said I did care, that I loved him with all my heart; and I do, I still do… despite everything I still love him.

“I told three of my closest friends. They all said I should’ve ended it, but the next day he was his regular sweet self – he came round with a ‘sorry’ card and some flowers, and took me out to dinner and a film. He was so apologetic, how could I end it after all that? I thought that was it, for a while things seemed to get better. He stopped getting angry and everything seemed perfect again. But a few weeks later it happened again – but he was just as sweet and apologetic the next day. But it happened more and more often. Each time he apologised less and less, each time I thought it might just be the last, and each time I got more and more bruised, until…” She indicted to her bruised ribs and black eye. “Eight and a half months later, I’m still putting up with it. And everyone knows I do, but no one cares.”

“I knew there was something wrong, I could feel it, from the first day we met at the library. I knew you were lying… the way you quickly tried to make excuses…”

“But I guess I’m not much of an actress, huh?” Louise asked, looking up at him, wiping more tears away, but managing a weak smile, and David smiled back, sure that things would work out now she was no longer alone.