As a 4th-year pre-law undergrad, you have as much legal training as my cat. And the last time I took my cat's legal advice, I ended up pleading manslaughter to a parking ticket.
We have invented the technology to eliminate scarcity, but are deliberately throwing it away to benefit those who profit from scarcity.
A motion to adjourn is always in order.
Sir, please, it's against airline policy to use the headphone cord to strangle a fellow passenger.
Now, how did you manage to do this while drunk?
I'm sorry Timmy, you have to be This High to ride the particle accelerator.
In 2002, Intergraph's income from operations was $10 million, but its net income including legal settlements was $378 million.
I'm sorry, but I've already patented the process of patenting a process of making a patent. You may speak to my attorneys to arrange a use license. Please don't try to fight this in court. I've patented that. You'll need a license.
Thank you for wasting 2 seconds to read this.
I'm not a native speaker, so I am always happy to learn new idioms. Does "concidering" mean "drink some cider together"? Please concider this with me!
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
In a narrow street, in a den of vice, you do not expect civilization, you do not expect order. But the horror of this was the fact that there was civilization, that there was order, but that civilization only showed its morbidity, and order only its monotony.
"It is very odd," said Grant at last, grimly, "that I should have
been caught out like this at the very moment of my optimism. I said
all these people were good, and there is the wickedest man in
England."
Here Mr Burrows stopped abruptly. He was interrupted by an argument
uncommon in philosophical controversy and perhaps not wholly
legitimate. Rupert Grant had bounded on him from behind, flung an
arm round his throat, and bent the giant backwards.
Uh... I'm going to stop RIGHT now, and avoid saying the rest of what I was going to say.
Wow. It's a cool monster guy, and then you go and give him a shovel.
Anyway, why go outside when you have a perfectly good webcam?
We need more zombies.
If I had the time to think of everything, I wouldn't need an army of clones, now would I?
Where is my tinfoil hat?
If someone bothered to name a Roman god after it, it's a planet. Pluto, Mars, Jupiter--all friendly planets.
Planet: n. Any object orbiting a star, not orbiting a planet, and having a radius greater than the radius of Pluto minus one millimeter.
How do you pronounce Quaoar?
Badly.
The Academy... We would like to thanks it, we would.
NO! Trickies they did, for giving it to Paul Newman... We hates it forever!!!
Now WE have the precioussss... yes yesssss...
Be sure clutch is disengaged before shifting paradigm.
The truth is out there, but the server is down or not responding.
"What if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today." --Groundhog Day
Of course the innovative thing isn't immediately obvious - if it was it wouldn't be called innovation would it?
An overpowering desire to quack like a duck was met and mastered in the same fashion.
"I'm expecting the end of the world to-day, Austin."
"Yes, sir. What time, sir?"
"I can't say, Austin. Before evening."
"Very good, sir."
I really like the "if it is not broke don't fix it" group here.
We are talking about windows 95.
Guess what? It is broke.
The Second Great Prune has arrived.
So there you have it. I'm a turtle.
"I don't get it, is he supposed to be blind, or just stupid?"
It would be dumb, but thats what makes it right!
Beware of the Chainsaw of Dismemberment.
This is funny. None of you seems to understand what a truck is.
"I fear that Digital Rights Management today is Political Rights Management tomorrow. That embedding these kinds of technological controls into the very architecture of computing has the capacity to become a form of political control in the not so distant future."
When not one, but two companies decline to take credit for their involvement in a video game, it's safe to assume that the game is bad.
The orbital steam clock ticked off forty-two little CD-Romulans, whose only offense happened occasionally, notwithstanding the Narn's affection for some french cabinet designer. The Narn herd trampled, confusticated, and generally bebothered girl-scouts with their bats, without concern for Nazi bratwurst inspectors. Thusly, creating a natural rift made obscured by pseudo-grammarians. Schizophrenia supplies were doomed to autodeflate dishonorably unless reinflated.
Have some grenades, you WIDDLESNUGGLYFUZZYPRECIOUS, foulsmelling, CUTEFUZZYCUDDLY slime-THINGIE!
"This is not a quote, so don't treat it as one."
So *that's* why the sign on the door says "Do not inhale in the shower."
What flavor was the foot?
You're clearly not using enough zeroes.
It's overkill, of course. But you can never have too much overkill.
I'm assuming, of course, that Paypal doesn't accept peanuts or cupcakes.
. . .but that's mostly because I'm human and not cephalopod in nature.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
That's like saying that, if I have a shipment of live chickens to unload, and I offer to give them to a butcher if he'll do a monkey dance for me, I'm using "monopoly power" to force him to dance.
Unix is user friendly, it's just selective about who it's friends are.
Rfdd*Df(oeGblerR3#21@%D. First to crack the code gets a cookie!
And a Welshman, of course.
I take it you've never had spam end up going to the email address of the emergency only-goes-off-if-the-whole-world-is-ending pager at 3:00 am some week when you are stuck carrying it.
For every silver lining there is a dark cloud.
Just sit back and enjoy the chaos.
Any place is within walking distance if you've got the time.
I don't need your social security number quite yet.
If all programming tasks were as exciting as defending a small village from raging bandits then I'm sure you would have no trouble finding brilliant programmers.
10) Åccented Letters: Use accented characters on variable names. E.g.
typedef struct { int i; } ínt;
where the second ínt's í is actually i-acute. With only a simple text editor, it's nearly impossible to distinguish the slant of the accent mark.
They fell victim to a rarely used section of the "he needed killin" clause.
This sentence is in Spanish while you're not looking.
. . .and the mathematical system would explode like a wet turtle in a microwave oven.
First, pick your victim. . . (information removed by request) . . . What you'll find will be a gibbering wreck or an automaton. Congratulations.
Empty the water--and mice--filled vessel daily, please.
I could, of course, prove this using a microwave and a piano.
Not that I've had personal experience with this, so quit looking at me like that.
Granted, a monk has an advantage here, but it's still impressive.
Hey, I'll have you know that America has the best justice money can buy!
"Shoot somebody else, ok?"
I don't care if he's dead; I still want to impeach Nixon.
Though come to think of it, I don't know Spanish. People who claimed to speak Spanish may only have been muttering random syllables to confuse me.
. . .then Q=Q', and all the basic assumptions of logic fail. All the laws of mathematics and physics break down, 0 equals Infinity, atomic nucleii repel their electrons, matter ceases to exist, and the universe disappears in a puff of logic.
Congratulations, you just failed the Turing test.
Analyzing or explaining humor is like analyzing a frog, you can do it but the frog tends to die in the process.
Anyway, I suggest everyone runs for their life.
Because I'm the Computer, that's why.
Oh look, it's the apocalypse.
Presumably they just separate the CO2 from the rest of the air, add a little energy to knock off the C, feed the O2 back into the cabin, and make diamonds with the C.
You shouldn't trust people more on a low-gravity planet, just because you can throw them further.
You're an evil clown, aren't you?
The floors were immaculately vacuumed; had he noted this, what happened soon after might not have happened at all.
But I must point out that even high explosives can be used for evil.
I don't refer to them as spies. Just excellent customer service.
In fairy tales newborns are always granted magical gifts. My son has been gifted with many cow and shoe puns. I wonder what this bodes.
By the way, the voices telling you to kill, the devils living behind your shower curtain, and the government agents living in your plumbing are the schizophrenia.
Actually, I think pretty much everything you experience is the schizophrenia. You're not even reading this message. You're locked up in a mental hospital, in five-point restraints in a padded room with enough sedatives being IVed into you to halt the nuclear fission of the sun. You're a raving lunatic.
BTW, someone you trust is one of us. :-)
There's a difference between "defending freedom" and "sounding disgustingly corny".
We are somewhat concerned over the use of nuclear weapons for entertainment purposes.
"Huh? Yeah, sorry. I was distracted by what sounded like the crazed laughter of a thousand mad souls burning in eternity."
PETA sent a letter to Yassar Arafat asking him to please refrain from strapping bombs to donkeys.
They did not ask him to stop bombing people.
I had a dream! And in my dream, there were the cries of millions of carrots. Ladies and gentlemen, it was the harvest. But for them, it was a Holocaust!
Like, I'd create wings out of fire, or a big hammer out of fire, or just start throwing fireballs, but no actually being on fire personally.
Two roads diverged in a narrow wood and I --
I tried to go up the middle
and hit a tree.
Even French hotels surrender when threatened...
"The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work."
I just know some of you are currently working on a really, really horrible 'France' joke. I'd really prefer if you didn't.
Your heart is in the right place... but your brain is somewhere cold and dark and covered with spiders.
"One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs." --Robert Firth
"Premature optimization is the root of all evil." - Donald Knuth
"On two occasions I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question. "
--Charles Babbage
I've never finished anything in my entire life. But hey, there's a first time for
I hate to ask, but could I borrow a few bullets from you?
*Dramatic Interlude!*
I find my complete irrelevance to the universe to be entirely invigorating.
Two animals, a goblin and a priest holding a sword walk into a bar. . .
In RPG terms, I think he leveled.
Fortunately for the attacker, few users are surprised these days when applications use hundreds of megabytes to accomplish trivial tasks.
The Internet isn't what it used to be, and that makes some lawyers, executives, and politicians very happy. Which means you should probably be at least a little worried.
I may not know what I'm doing but I'm getting better at it.
I'm going to go scream in inarticulate rage for 20 minutes.
I suspect that kind of home-grown medical technology is illegal for a reason.
Your story begins with the last days of a murderous sociopath whose name I can't pronounce.
So, who's up for some nice, cold porridge?
We could destroy the planet and pretend we were never here.
Judging from the sounds of general panic, I want a gun like that.
I've ever seen anyone say "secret mission" in a want ad before.
Yeah, a grue left it there.
"Maybe he should stay for observation..."
Just because something never works doesn't mean it's not a legitimate wartime strategy.
In fact, it would do so much damage to your hearing that we are inclined to misspell 'deafness' with the substitution of a second 'd' for that wholly unnecessary 'f.'
I *thought* that Penguin on the Microsoft home page looked a little out of place.
It reminds me of that thing my little cousin used to watch years ago on Nickelodeon. Except he's evil. The thing on Nickelodeon, I mean.
As an arcade attendant of five years, I can say with certainty that creeping horror is not a usual fixture of Palace Park Amusements.
I'm guessing they didn't use that quote on the back of the DVD box.
If this idea is going to succeed, you are going to need a larger supply of turnips.
Wait, stop -- that's a university! Is an institute of higher learning nothing to you? Please don't crush it with stones and burn it. Those books are fine scholarly works, and less than half of them dealt with the crushing death of your empire and how we planned to stick your noble leaders on sharpened pikes.
It went downhill from there.
And I wanted to be remembered ... I wanted to go out in the biggest blaze of wholesale destructive glory man or beast has ever witnessed. Well, I guess I did a better job than I thought, looking back at the results.
(And, NO, I'm not going to explain.)
VILLIAN - Who are you and how did you get in here?
DREBIN - I'm a locksmith, and, I'm a locksmith!
As I recall, the last time you volunteered to do some 'pro-bono' community service, you toppled a planetary government.
. . .that is until you start talking subliminal messaging, which is a whole other issue.
In the force if Yoda's so strong, construct a sentence with words in the proper order then why can't he?
There is no more valour in you, than in a wild duck.
Your vote has been cast.
I, for one, am pleasantly surprised to still be alive.
There's a trick to keeping neutronium stable. It's easily enough undone.
I'm sorry. Did I neglect to mention that my clients are legally empowered to shoot attorneys?
Without DRM, one person buys TurboTax for $40 and copies it for 5 friends:
revenues: 1 x $40 = $40
losses due to piracy: 5 x $40 = $200
net: $40 - $200 = -$160
With DRM, the same person buys TaxCut and copies it for 5 friends:
revenues: $0
losses due to piracy: $0
net: $0
So by using DRM, Intuit saves $160.
"I might have believed it was an accident if you hadn't stopped twice to reload."
This man suffers from a common human ailment. He does not have the ability to see what he does as wrong.
"Look, Alan, you're a problem yourself, you steal bandwidth, you fill paid resources with unwanted clutter, which robs people of their time to clean it up, you collect a lot of money doing it and then you flaunt it, so you're stupid, also. All this is part of the environment you've chosen to do business... Oh, you brought cash. Well, OK."
In other news, it was announced today that after careful study, researchers confirmed that fire is hot and pointy objects hurt.
When the judge finally screams "Will you stop that ?!?", have the lawyer look the judge straight in the eyes and say calmly: "No."
BTWINGAAEOTHJBCAOANICUSDUT (By the way, I'm no good at acronyms, especially ones that have just been created and/or are not in common use, so don't use them.)
Some of these rules may not apply to you. If they do not, you will know exactly which ones do not, and why they do not apply. If you are not sure, then they definitely all apply to you.
If you, like me, are tired of having to manually deliver documents or other items within your office building, and if your building has high ceilings, good lighting, and minimal air currents, then you will inevitably reach the same conclusion I have: An automatic helium blimp delivery service.
I awoke the way you awake when you suddenly know that there is a large levitating sinister presence hovering towards you with menacing intent through the malignant darkness.
Incidentally, most good testers are named Jill, or some variation like Gillian.
Knowledge is like four wheel drive. You still get stuck, but in much more difficult places.
Imagine you are one of 20 people on a small island. One of the other people has a gun. They are the only one with a gun. One day there is a loud gun shot, and everyone runs over to find that the guy with the gun shot someone else dead. He claims "He was evil. Trust me."
The door to the libraries of the past may yet be unlocked by those crazy enough to learn the keys.
"In the practical art of war, the best thing of all is to take the enemy's country whole and intact; to shatter and destroy it is not so good. So, too, it is better to recapture an army entire than to destroy it, to capture a regiment, a detachment or a company entire than to destroy them.
Hence to fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting."
Sun Tzu, Art of War
Diagnosis: Schizophrenic Pathological Liar with Grand Delusions.
That's wrong for 7 reasons.
Don't worry, I'm not insane, just bored.
For those that looked at me funny while I was wearing my tin foil hat: Apologies will be accepted in verbal and written form from 6AM to 11:30PM.
Microsoft Windows has a defragger? That's so cool! Now when I get blown up while playing Quake I can just alt-tab out, punch the defragger, and watch the shocked expression on my enemies' faces as my pieces fly back together! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Always read the fine print... especially if it isn't there.
Are you some kind of robot? If yes, what powers do you have? Do you use them for good or for evil?
You may have stumbled on to Microsoft's secret security strategy here.
- Release insecure software for over a generation.
- Watch 'real' hacker skills atrophy with time.
- Implement all the code fixes they have been secretly stockpiling in Bill's underground lair.
- MS systems become impenetrable.
This is worse that walking around with a "kick me" sign on your back, because they did it on purpose.
Evil l337 h4x0r: Mwhaha ha ha! I am going to break into this system, cause it to become slow and unreliable, trash lots of files, turn the security framework into pure unmanageable chaos, and make it send out IP packets violating several RFCs!"
(Typing...)
Elh: I'm too late. It's already running Windows.
The sun has been causing global warming? Now who would have ever expected a giant ball of uncontrolled nuclear explosions to have any effect on the warming of our planet?
Things too reliable? Predictable? Functional? Secure? Just can't find anything to do?
Windowsize it!
Just ten lines of Windows code will have you scrambling for hours to try and figure out what went wrong! Add twenty lines of Windows code and you've got a month worth of worries on
your hands!
It's spelled Luke, but it's pronounced 'Qkrnxtl'.
Postage included in pricing; Available in two formats: Caucasian Santa or African American Santa.
Hey, if pi = 3, and three = 0, does that make pi = 0?
So why do astronomers always compare the size of meteors to Volkswagen bugs?
...but thankfully the error was cleared up just in time and a full apology given to his widow.
Mellowfields. Top Security Holiday Camps. Luxury without fear. Fun without suspicion. Relax in a panic free atmosphere.
"Don't fight it son, confess quickly. If you hold out too long, you could jeopardize your credit rating."
The term 'metaphysics' comes from Aristotle, who placed all his books on a shelf in a particular order. Those that were about what we call 'metaphysics' were next to his books on physics. Hence, 'metaphysics' originally meant 'next to physics'.
If you can reprogram your video card then you shouldn't even HAVE to cheat.
Well, in order to demonstrate, first we need to cover the earth in linoleum.
Come on, boys.
Childish, I know, but it did the trick.
There are 1728 Volkswagen Bugs in one Library of Congress.
The amazing thing about this post is that I could do a find-and-replace with "tar" and "Maxtor Hard Drives" and it would still make total sense.
Every time there is an accident involving air travel, one of those flight recorders is usually somewhere in the vicinity. I'm starting to get suspicious...
Landing is easy. Landing without dying is a bit more tricky.
Absolutely brilliant. By the way, stay far, far away from my home.
A Volkswagen Bug estimated to be the size of a 'meteor' exploded over the Midwest around midnight yesterday morning. The resulting small pieces of engine and other parts hit homes causing some damage. The largest piece found was the steering wheel.
...In the meantime, Microsoft suggests you refrain from running programs which use memory. Thank you for your patience.
In fact, I sometimes feel embarrassed that the conscious "me" claims credit for the bundle of mad scientists, leechers, random thought generators, and idiots who inhabit my subconscious and do all the work.
Horrendous experiences make amusing anecdotes.
I've got it!!! A flawless design for a perpetual motion machine... the only thing I need to make it work are a couple monopole magnets and a room-temperature superconductor. Honest!
Send $1,000 to P.O. box 983, NY, NY 20002 to get in on the ground floor!!
Soon we will be able to harness the rotational energy from Orwell's grave to solve all of the world's energy problems.
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic?
Apart from that, of course it's extremely boring, but so is everything, until you think of the applications.
Oh yes. You can tell that's a serious and accurate site from the article on the front page claiming they have a working anti-gravity device.
This world looks like a nice, vulnerable place for something subtle. Something insidious.
Please note that this voids your warranty, and your next of kin will not be entitled to replacement or refund.
You have been warned.
Multimedia is so 1995....
Or, if you're a Mac or Amiga user, so 1988...
You can't just casually mention prototype invisibility cloaks without posting a link.
I complain for a living. What's your excuse?
Several blocks had to be deserted until the question of how to dispose of the food was dealt with. (HAZMAT teams in positive pressure biocontainment suits did most of the removal. Only three members died.)
There are two kinds of people in this world......and you're not either of them.
I'm addicted to placebos.
In fact, lemme give you just a general piece of advice: Whenever you have to parachute out of a tank, you're driving it wrong.
No sir, we're Lawful Evil.
This always happens when I calculate electromagnetic response harmonics on the computer instead of in my head.
It was like a step by step guide to brain surgery, without the easy-to-understand simplicity of the human central nervous system.
Reminds me of the time that I didn't explode a 2-liter bottle with dry ice. Unfortunately, the ratio of available space to dry ice was a little too high when we didn't pack the bottle, so it didn't not explode on its own. That's when one of us decided to not heave a large rock onto it, in the hopes that it wouldn't explode. The resulting BOOM wasn't probably heard throughout the neighborhood.
Here, have some Honey Bunches of Goats.
Only after the altered photo appeared Monday did editors notice that some civilians in the background appeared twice, the Times said.
These things will all seem reasonable at first. (unless you think about it too hard)
MSDOS is not dead, it just smells that way. -- Henry Spencer
My, was I saying something incriminating?
Why do I bother being witty when no one lives to see it?
Hey... who voted "No"?
You can't beat someone in a race if you're trying to follow in their footsteps.
Well, what would YOU do if you suddenly became self-aware, and realize you were an Exchange server?
Usage: fortune -P [-f] -a [xsz] Q: file [rKe9] -v6[+] file1 ...
I'm not sure what they're going to do with tape of Mario telling children to attack cops with baseball bats, but I didn't have time to worry about it.
CAUTION: The Mass of This Product Contains the Energy Equivalent of 85 Million Tons of TNT per Net Ounce of Weight.
Hitler was elected.
The identity of those opposed to progress depends on which direction you think of as forward.
Blessed are the pessimists, for they have made backups.
For nearly two weeks, he has been held as a so-called "material witness" in solitary confinement in a federal lockup in Sheridan, Oregon. The designation allows authorities to hold him indefinitely without charging him with a crime.
Oddly enough though, John Ashcroft has managed to unite the left and the right. Groups such as the ACLU and the ACU (at completely different ends of the political spectrum) are actually issuing joint press releases stating their belief that he is the single greatest threat to American liberty right now.
My advice, buy land. They stopped making it years ago...
But anyway, both of your suggestions were the positive way to approach things, but I was more looking to vent about how the world was unfair and we don't get enough control over things.
The last one was early last century, so we're overdue.
I like the way it throbs menacingly when it lights up.
For a small processing fee I will delete the list of credit card numbers that I acquired from your server.
Suppose the following scenario: you are kidnaped, taken to a small room and tortured, then someone asks you for classified information, or to betray your country, or to do something that every fiber in your being resists. Then that person proceeds to enumerate the names, ages, addresses, and medical conditions of your family members. Perhaps they include a bit of data on where they go out to eat, or where they work, of if there's an alarm system on their house. They don't have to say where they got the data, the very fact that they have it at all could lead you to believe that they have much, much more of it. Most military members have family somewhere that doesn't live on base (parents, siblings, etc.) Information is the most valuable tool an enemy can have.
That's Trillion with a "B"
This warez server doesn't have any decent customer support.
I'll cut a long story short. Casualties were kept to a minimum: six dead, three wounded, twelve unconscious, and one guy taped to a rafter that will probably suffer naught but psychological scars.
[A brilliant flash of white light and the horrifying crash of thunder accompany the Unix server administrator's departure into the mist]
Afterwards the cops admitted it was pretty cool and let me go.
I'm just a minion NOW, but I'm working up a big promotion to mini-boss.
Beware of any product that includes a central billing system.
You should think about your audience before you assume those questions will be taken as rhetorical.
For historical reasons, secret doors are never locked.
Your opponents will laugh themselves stunned when you shuffle down the hall squeeking "brrraaaiiinnnsss".
If I were you, I wouldn't be on fire now would I?
...In fact, the Balrog is clearly wearing oversized fluffy bedroom-slippers.
By opening this package, you agree to the terms and conditions contained within.
Not all EULAs are bad.
In fact, some I'm downright thrilled with.
Like ones that come in text boxes that you can edit.
I haven't seen any giant squids lately. Either my anti-squid paperweight works or the squids have been in a good mood lately. My guess is the former.
The Consultant's Curse: When the customer has beaten upon you long enough, give him what he asks for, instead of what he needs. This is very strong medicine, and is normally only required once.
There's no place like 127.0.0.1
Actually, this has been a feature of Unix for years now. A process may have all of its child processes reaped without warning, lose its entire flock, and even find itself afflicted by boils, all at the whims of the scheduler. This is why the operating system refers to a suspended process as a "stopped Job". Unfortunately, most implementations fail to capitalize the name, leading to widespread confusion and mispronunciation among users. --Dan Martinez
'For the children' is the root password for the Constitution.
He who dies with the most toys, is, nonetheless, still dead.
I am an honest businessman. An investor. A farmer. A winemaker. (That's one of mine you are drinking now, by the way. Do you like it?). An philosopher. And, oh, yes, a very highly-paid assassin.
Only those who attempt the absurd will achieve the impossible.
The following advisory for American travelers heading for France was compiled from information provided by the US State Department, the Central Intelligence Agency, the US Chamber of Commerce, the Food and Drug Administration, the Centres for Disease Control, and some very expensive spy satellites that the French don't know about.
The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
We have tamed lightning, and now use it to make sand think.
Well-known saying : 'First thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.' Have you noticed how many Gun Control Bills there are these days...?
You should emulate your heroes, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they're dead.
Keane needs to expand his symbolic vocabulary if he is to truly express his resolution of Heidegger's dilemma without degenerating into a trivialization of the uniqueness of humanity's temporal experience.
Welcome to Earth-Zine! The only online magazine for humans, by humans. Well, except for that day when those apes took over, but I think we have that problem under control now.
You're about as accurate as an archer in a centrifuge.
Ever notice how they have to distinguish between Truth, Justice, and *then* the American Way?
I know what art is. And I'm NOT TELLING.
"..ouston! Anybody! Is this thing working? This is ..........alling Earth! I'm stuck inside of some kind of ship! This is no prank! I'm - I'm going past J-Jupiter.......Are you sure they can hear me?"