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The "Y2Dart" Project The genetic recipe for the perfect college darts player has now been discovered. This information will shortly be passed to Fads in his laboratory, where he will begin creating the "Exeter Darts Machine". The seven component DNAs that have been blended include five university players, but just as importantly, players with the capacity to banter the shit out of the opposition. In time, seven further clones of the original creature will be created to ensure darting success for years to come. |
Concentration Matt Bale (1997-2000) Balo rarely stopped bantering when he wasn't playing. But on the oche, oblivious to everything around him, he never so much as smiled. Just don't banter him about it, or you'll be treated to a huge smug grin as soon as the leg finishes. |
Banter Jo Davis (1997-2000) Scoring is for show, doubles for dough, but for the bread and butter of league points, banter is the darts player's biggest weapon. And Jo Davis almost single-handedly made Exeter for three years the wittiest, most distracting banter outfit in the university. |
Scoring Graham Stevenson (2000 - present) Why finish a leg in 11 darts when you can do it in 10? |
Doubles Jonny Sultoon (1998-2000) Catch Sultoon on a good day, and he'll hit his double (or bull, as often as not) first dart almost every time. Catch him on a bad day and he's shit, but then, aren't we all? |
Determination Ed "The Damage" Savory (1911 - 2001) The Peter Ebdon of Exeter darts. To quote Fads, "Trainers breed race horses for speed, farmers cows for beef and milk and stuff. If you wanted to breed a beerleg winner then the Damage would have to be your prize bull." To quote Savory himself, "COME ON THE DAMAGE!" |
Random Shouting Fads (1998 - 2002) As well as singing, darts also requires unnecessary torrents of personalised, faintly witty abuse. Enter Fads. And his darts won the league for us a couple of years back as well, so he can do a job under pressure. |
Bloody-Minded Practising Andrew Cox (1997-2000) Cox averaged about 110 in the bar, although this wasn't always transferred to matches. It wasn't for want of practice though. He got a 170 outshot when nobody was looking, you know. |
If anyone's going to moan about not being included in the Y2Dart project, it's just
because I couldn't think of a category for you. And probably not because you're
shit. |