brpost6

Why pray, we've still got cigarretes

by: BROWNIE 4/12/00 1:15 am

So I ask you all, why pray? I mean seriously, do
you think God has time to get that girl to notice
you? So I have a simple solution. Just ask me. I'll
give you all the advice you could ever need and you
don't even have to obey all kinds of rules. Except
for these: 1. No fat chicks. 2. Don't fuck with
guys that have fat rolls of their head. 3. Don't
fuck with guys that have tattoos on their neck. 4.
Don't fuck with gangly white boys. That's basically
it. There are a few more rules, but you'll pick them
up as you go along. So here are some examples of
me helping poor souls. Example A. A cripple
wheels over to me and says he would like to walk again.
I tell him to get over it, because it ain't
happenin'. However I do give him some money for booze, and a
hat to collect change. Pretty good huh? Example B.
 A girl comes to me and says that she is feeling bad
for having sex. Well, let me tell you, I'll fuck that
right out of her. See? Example C. You feel
worthless because you're fat. Well how about putting down
that bag of doughnuts and 2 liter of ski for a second?
You know why you're fat, because you take in more
calories in a day than all of Africa. So get on the
stairmaster and work a little. Or maybe I can get you a gun
so you can kill yourself. Problem solved! Example
D. Q: I'm foreign, what can I do? A: Get the gun
when lardass is done. Example E. Q: I coveted my
neighbors wife, what will I do? A: Pat yourself on the
back and give me the whore's address. Example
F. I cussed and stole and cheated and lied. Well,
don't be a pussy. I'm sure you'll live. So
that's about it for now. You get the idea. I'm better
than God and a lot more alive than Jesus. Let me
know. Brownie

Thoughts, VOL 1

by: BROWNIE 4/13/00 12:51 am

How come the president can get away with sticking a cigar in a girl's pussy and I can't ride my bike at night without a light?
I just don't get it. Why does he get special treatment? I know he had to go through that hearing and the embarassment, but come on how embarassed could he be? How do you make fun of a guy with the power to make a girl let him do that? Meanwhile, back in the town of Trenton, I have to walk my fucking bike home because I don't have a light. I have thought of all the risks involved and I take full responsibility for what happens to me. I'm not going to get hit by a car. You know why? Because when I see a car coming, I fucking move. That's why the car has lights.
Also, I can't listen to my radio too loud because it "disturbs some people". Give me a fucking break here. These are the same people who voted for a man who has a fettish for sticking smoking devices inside a woman's uterus. If that doesn't bother you, don't tell me that Wu-Tang does.
I can probably go by cocaine right now if I want. And guess what, it's cheaper than a bike light from Wal-Mart. And do you know how dumb a BMX bike looks with a light on it? That's right, dumber than midget body builder.
I don't know maybe I'm just being rebelious. But more than likely I'm just right.
That's all, sorry for any lack of humor.
Brownie