Ex-Pagan 4 Christ

So far, I had been initiated into the benign side of paganism, performing spells only to help others, worshipping gods of nature and peace. I thought all this was wonderful, and didn't even notice the corruption I had entered into. Satan appears as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14) but he corrupts us just as surely in that guise as when we see him in all his evil. Even though I thought I was a good person my morals were disintegrating as I got further into paganism. It started with little things - not giving back the money when given too much change in shops, drinking heavily, that sort of thing. It progressed until I ended up back on heroin and stealing money to pay for it. My pagan mentors knew of this, and once I got to that state they decided I was ready to move up to the next level.

The teaching they were giving me started to get darker, gradually focussing more and more on the darker side of the "balance". They talked about the necessity of evil, the use of sex in rituals, and how to cast counter-spells. I was delighted when a spell I had cast to cause a suspected paedophile to get a very painful groin disease worked. I was getting further and further into evil.

Finally the High Priestess announced to me that I would be "privileged" to be initiated to the next level and to witness the "Great Rite". I prepared with lots of private circles and reading, and my second initiation was much the same as the first. It was revealed to me that I would learn much more about the craft after this initiation, and that some people never made it out of the elementary stage. At the end of the initiation, everyone "grounded themselves" (released their energy) by having sex with one another. Such a disgusting perversion as this I hope you never have to witness - men went with men, women with women, no one was married and we had a mass orgy while "worshipping" the gods. We were told that the gods liked this form of worship, and did not mind if it was homosexual, heterosexual, bestial or even incestual! We were told the tale of Diana's coupling with her brother, Lucifer (at the time the mention of Lucifer set off no alarm bells, as they had told me the Christians had perverted this god into the devil). While any normal person would have been horrified by the Great Rite, I had become so corrupt that I thought it a beautiful way to worship the goddess and her consort. The way that I willingly joined in secured my new place in the coven - I later found out that if I had refused to participate in the orgy, they would have killed me, as no one could be allowed to testify to that coven's evil.

I passed their test, and gradually was sunk into innumerable horrors. I was introduced to the use of drugs in worship - which they had steadfastly refused any knowledge of when I first joined. They told us that the god they called Cernunnos was really called Lucifer and his consort was Diana, his sister and lover. They also told me that Baal and Astarte were other names of those gods, and let me know how much my faith was opposed to Christianity. They told me that Christianity was a perversion of paganism created out of jealousy at the power of pagan gods and because some men decided they could not abide priestesses - a complete perversion of the real truth created by the father of lies himself! I started to cast spells on others, at first "for their own good" and later just because I wanted to. I created unhappy marriages by casting love spells, aborted babies for others, caused illness, death and poverty. I became intoxicated with my own power, dedicated to Lucifer and his consort. I wanted more, my spells didn't always work, and I wanted more power over others.

Morgan and Asmodeus told me more and more of black magic, of the secret rites to Lucifer practised throughout the centuries. I was a good student, and learned well. Satan "blessed" me with money, huge energy and power so that I became totally wedded to his service. I wanted to know my god better, and prayed, worshipped and cast spells for him constantly.

I taunted Christians I met - I thought their God was weak and impotent. I made a friend - Stargrove - in the coven, and together we set churches on fire by magic, caused illness and once performed a ceremony to Lucifer in a Christian church! We couldn't attack certain churches - Bible-believing ones - but we rationalised that by saying that we didn't want to rather than because God was protecting them.

One day Asmodeus started hinting that there was a certain rite - an advanced one, that would give me great power and a deep connection to Lucifer. He tickled my interest by telling me maybe I would find it too difficult, and made me beg for it. The ritual he told me about has the most black history of any of the deadly craft. Total union with Satan!