[Scene] There’s a snap… A dim orange light flashes the walls… The smell of fresh pine rolls through the air as flames lick the logs that produce it. Josh Sutton sits in front of the fire place in a folding chair, hands on the sides of his head, caught up in the twilight of the inferno.
Sutton: The other day my ex-wife allowed me to see my eight year old son, Duncan. It’s been two whole years since I’ve seen him in person.
I walked up through the gate to their house. My legs were literally buckling with nervousness. I stood outside the door for a good five minutes before I made a half-hearted knock. I was met with a beaming face that literally made me gush with joy.
I ran my hands through his hair and he gave me a puzzled look, followed by a question that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about. He said, “daddy, how’s come you’re so beat up?”
[Scene] Sutton looks to be holding back a tear and he quickly brushes it away with his index finger.
Sutton: When the first thing your kid asks you after a two year absence is ‘why are you so beat up’, it’s time to start re-thinking life choices.
I got down on my knee next to him, which wasn’t easy. I put my arm around him and tried to say something, but no words came out. My eight year old little boy got to see his old man cry. No child wants to see their parent well up and cry. It takes the wind out of their sails. But I couldn’t help it. I just knelt there, looking at my boy and reminiscing with what it would be like to just throw it all away and be there for him. To be like the dad I wish I would have had...
But I’m selfish…
[Scene] Sutton slaps himself across the face.
Sutton: I’m selfish…
[Scene] Another smack echoes off Sutton’s face.
Sutton: I’m fucking selfish! I can’t throw it away. I can’t put the ball down. I can’t forfeit my king before checking out all possible solutions on the human chess board. It’s your fault, Matt Scheffert!
[Scene] Sutton nods his head, smiling as two tears stream down his face.
Sutton: Because somewhere deep down inside of me is a sickness. A sickness that makes me love you MORE than I love my son. Every time you hit me… I want to hug you. Every time you bash my skull with a chair, I want to tell you how much it means to me. Every time you spit in my face… Every time you make me bleed… Every time you bleed with me… I want to get on my knees and bow to you…
Because, Matt Scheffert, you are my savior… Don’t you get it? You’re the one that I’ve always dreamed about… You’re the one that currents have been prophesizing about for damn near a decade… You’re the one that is going to deliver me from the sins of the flesh and blood and allow to me fall from grace to the inner-spectrum of the currents.
[Scene] Sutton wipes away his tears, his eye ticking maniacally.
Sutton: This is probably so hard for you to understand. I feel your pain. Sometimes it’s hard for me to understand as well. It just takes time… But that’s something that is dwindling to extinction for us, Matthew. I’m afraid you’re just going to have to take it in a little at a time and attempt to piece it together as the match unfolds.
[Scene] Sutton stands up and walks over to the side of the fire place. He picks up a large bucket and stands near the flames.
Sutton: We’ve come a long way together, Matt. But this Wednesday, like all things, this ‘train of pain’ must end its route… It must derail… And for me to be delivered, you must not survive the impact of the crash… Kiss your girlfriend goodbye… Relish in the last moments with your family before the show.
Inhale… Exhale… Currents in the fire, my only true desire. T’will be silent, as calm as the wind and a leaf… I come for you, death by a lowly thief…
[Scene] Sutton nods his head at the camera and tosses water onto the flames. Together the scene and the fire begin to die down… then… fade…to…black.