[Scene] The scene opens in a finely furnished, antique clad room. Large shelves line the walls, filled with books about government and fine English literature. Sound is pretty desolate with the exception of a clock ticking in the distance. The camera focuses in at a small table. 'The Franchise' Shane Douglas and William Regal are delved deep into a game of wits... Chess. The Franchise is down to his last stand, it would seem. Regal looks at his pieces, hand upon his chin contemplating his next move. He slowly grabs his queen and sweeps it to Douglas' front row, then proclaims loudly...
||'Civilized' William Regal||
Sorry my dear boy, but that's check mate.
[Scene] Douglas looks disgusted. His face turns to a bright crimson shade. With reckless abandon he reaches out and shoves the board off the table. The pieces go flying in every direction.
||'Civilized' William Regal||
What in the bloody hell did you do that for?
||'Franchise' Shane Douglas||
This game is bullshit! What exactly is this supposed to be teaching me anyway, Regal?
'Civilized' William Regal
Good God! Keep it together, will you? For five deucing seconds! Chess teaches you about patience, something you have very little of, if any.
[Scene] Douglas picks up a pawn and tosses it at Regal's chest. Regal scowls.
||'Franchise' Shane Douglas||
I don't give a crap about you or this game. Patience falls into the 'nice guy' category, Regal. In my opinion patience is standing in a mud puddle and being a human bridge for others to walk all over. I'm not sure how you 'chaps' play your cards up in Blackpool, but here we play to win, or at least I do.
[Scene] Regal stands up, looking soiled. He grabs his London Times off the bench next to him and rolls it up. The Franchise leans back in his seat and Regal smacks him across the forehead with the daily reads. (I assure you, there were no funnies.) Douglas falls back, landing hard on the floor.
||'Civilized' William Regal||
Now, get up off your bloody arse and let's go!
[Scene] The camera fades with Douglas following Regal out of the room.
[Scene] The cameras reset in a large padded room. It's apolstered much like the other room. Antiques are about the walls, mostly expensive paintings and candle holders. Regal stands in the middle of the room wearing a fencing outfit. Seconds later Douglas bursts onto the scene pulling at his groin area.
||'Franchise' Shane Douglas||
Man, this is really tight around the package.
||'Civilized' William Regal||
Rubbish! Now, on guard!
[Scene] Regal strikes Douglas in the chest with the sword, pushing him back.
||'Franchise' Shane Douglas||
Ouch! What the hell are you doing?
||'Civilized' William Regal||
Bitch! Whine! Piss! Moan!
||'Franchise' Shane Douglas||
Asshole!
[Scene] Douglas charges at Regal, flailing the sword at him. Regal successfully blocks every attack and pokes him in the chest a second time. Douglas throws the sword down to the ground.
||'Franchise' Shane Douglas||
This is bullshit, Regal! Even more so than chess! There is no possible way that this can help me in the ring. You're doing this for your own sick enjoyment.
||'Civilized' William Regal||
Nonsense! Fencing helps you maintain balance and proper grace in the ring. Now pick up your sword, sunshine!
[Scene] Regal prepares to attack again but is interrupted by a small white man in a fancy suit. He's carrying a tray with tea and crumpets. Regal takes one of the crumpets and bites into it. Douglas picks up his sword and charges Regal. Regal pours a cup of tea and still manages to assemble a defensive strike. He thanks his servant and holds the cup of tea, sipping it as he spars with Shane. Douglas finally catches Regal with a poke to the ribs as he's taking a sip of the bitter drink. It spills down his front.
||'Franchise' Shane Douglas||
Hahaha! I got you, Regal! Franchised!
||'Civilized' William Regal||
You imbecile! You bloody cheated! You've soiled my favorite fencing uniform. I should... Oh... I'm at a loss for words.
||'Franchise' Shane Douglas||
Haha... Who's bitching now?
[Scene] Regal splashes the remains of his tea into Douglas' eyes. He immediately falls to his knees, 'enjoying' the discomfort of the steaming liquid.
||'Civilized' William Regal||
You bloody well deserved that, Shanley. *sighs* This is going to take a lot longer than I previously expected. You're like a barbarian. You have no manners. It's as if you're American.
||'Franchise' Shane Douglas||
I am American!
||'Civilized' William Regal||
What?! Are you trying to soil my good fortune?! It's impossible to even attempt to civilize an American. You could have saved the both of us a lot of trouble had you confessed your yankee blood sooner!
||'Franchise' Shane Douglas||
Look, jackass. I'm Shane Douglas. I've never been civilized. I'll never be civilized. I'm good at two things... Making it with the ladies and of course, franchising! Some can accept that, and some can't. Either way, life goes on, and life is always great for The Franchise!
||'Civilized' William Regal||
Well then, sunshine, let's get going!
||'Franchise' Shane Douglas||
Go where?
||'Civilized' William Regal||
Oh I don't know, I was thinking of taking you by this nice whore house down the street... The airport, you numbskull! This Englishman has a craving for some gold.
||'Franchise' Shane Douglas||
Now you're speaking The Franchise's language.
[Scene] The scene fades out with the two men exiting, continuing their discussion of WWF domination.