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[We are the number one college radio station. We're the radio station that makes your mom scream, bend over and touch her toes. We are 107.1STFU radio. 50,000 volts of pure entertainment. A small custom made background theme is heard.]
Dave: Hello peasants, you know me, Dave Mitchell alongside my homosexual co-host Wally Wiesenburger. We've got a great show lined up for today including a special guest from Era of Destruction Wrestling. Wally: First of all, I'm not the one who lives off the pork pipe Dave. Second, it's going to be an honor talking to our guest today. I've been following him since his early EWWL days and quite frankly I'm excited to be finally meeting the guy. Dave: Getting off the subject of our guest for just a moment, let's talk a little bit about the earthquake in Afghanistan. Wally: What about it? Dave: That's what I'm saying. I mean who really gives two shits about the whole situation? If you're a new listener, we've been covering the whole Bin Laden thing since September 11th and to tell you the truth, I think I', more sick of it than the listeners. Our fucking pig-nosed bosses, some corporate upper-class jockeys that started out flipping burgers for some second rate fast food joint always insists on us talking about it. So if you're as pissed off as I am about it, call in and give my boss a good tounge lashing. [Licking sound props are heard.] Dave: Alright, when we come back EdW's own Josh Sutton will grace our airwaves. [Are you tired of the same old boring shit? Well if you aren't, then tune into 107.1STFU radio. We will bore the hell out of you but keep you coming back for more. The familiar background music plays again.] Dave: And we're back. Sitting next to me is as he put it the 'Next EdW Universal Champion' Josh Sutton. Wally: Welcome to the show Josh. As I was telling Dave earlier, it's such an honor to have you on the show. Sutton: It's my pleasure. I've always turned into your show when in the area. Dave: Good deal. I guess the first question, one that's on everyone's mind is where's Mini Sutton? Sutton: Mini Sutton? Dave: Yeah, about 3'7", 90 pounds, looks almost exactly like yo... Sutton: I know who he is smartass. Why would he be here is what I'm asking. Dave: Well, Wally andI assumed that he'd be with you. We're both big fans of him. Sutton: Well, you assumed wrong. So let me get this straight, the only reason I'm on here, apparently wasting my time is because you thought Mini Sutton would be with me? [Dave shakes his head yes, Wally shakes his head no. Dave and Wally look at eachother, panicking.] Dave: Uh...erm...uh..(beep) Oh...We have a caller. (Hits button) Hello, you're on the Dave and Wally show, state your case and tell your mom we said hello. Caller: Me just wanted to say that me thinks Josh Sutton sucks. Dave: I see and? Caller: Well, he sucks. Long Live Mini Sutton! Sutton: Nik? Nik VanCore is that you? Who is this?! Caller(changing voice): Er...no. Never heard of that guy. But me bet he could really kick your ass. [You can hear Sutton gritting his teeth.] Sutton: I'll show you just how bad I "suck", bring your little bitch ass down to the studio. Caller: Well, err...why don't yew come here? Sutton: Where are you? Caller: Me in Chicago. Sutton: Chicago? Caller: Yes, me in Chicago. Sutton: Where at in Chicago? Caller: Yer house. Sutton: My house, what the hell are you doing at my house? Caller: Me is pimping yer wife. Sutton: WHAT?! Dave: I think he said he was fucking your wife, dude. Sutton: Wait...Wait just a second. I recognize that voice now...MINI SUTTON! You little bastard! Don't you DARE touch my wife again! Woman in background on phone: Oh, Mini Sutton, you definately aren't mini. You're bigger than my husband, ALOT bigger.(click, the phone hangs up.) Sutton: Oh My God! I...Am...So...Fucking...Pissed Off...right now...you guys... Dave: Woah, dude your face is really red. Wally get me a pin. Let's pop him. Sutton: AGHH!!! He's done it again! He's messing up my life AGAIN!!!!! [Sutton runs from the room leaving Dave and Wally confused. Dave looks at Wally.] Dave: Think he'll be pissed when he finds out it was just a joke? Wally: (gulps) I think we might want to find a new studio. Dave: Uh...thanks for tuning in. This has been the Dave and Wally show signing out...keep listening to 107.1STFU radio. Classic Bullshit Music for over the hill mother fuckers is next. [Josh Sutton is seen later at the airport, a ticket to Chicago in his hand. The scene begins to...] ~FADE TO BLACK
| "To women, I am like a drug....They can't get enough of me. Men envy what I have while their children look up to me as their hero." - Josh Sutton |