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[Scene] Josh Sutton stands waiting in a long line at a local Texas branch of Arby's. Sutton seems to be getting impatient as the line is slow to move. Sutton looks up to the front, noticing an obese couple ordering. Sutton mumbles something about fat people then attempts to push his way to the front of the line. A "man" no older than seventeen shoves Sutton backward. Sutton raises his hand but quickly contains himself.
The teenager throws him a diry look then says, "Damn yo, I've been waiting here just as long as you have, why you gotta try an' cramp my style in front of my girl dawg?" Sutton stares in confusion at the teenager while scratching his head. "What in the hell did you just say?" "I said why you crampin my style in front of my gir..." "I know what you said jackass", Sutton says becoming frustrated. "I guess I'm not hip and cool like you Slim Shady. I don't understand wannabe-thug latin." "Yo man, fuck you! You wanna take this outside hippy? I will break it down for you hardcore son." The teenager gets in Sutton's face. Sutton smirks and puts his hand in front of the kid's face. "First off, what in the hell do they teach you punks in school these days? Do they still teach standard english? Jesus kid, my midget speaks better english than you." "Yo midget? What about yo mama, does she speak better english than me?" "You're barking up the wrong tree punk. You and your nice lady here just step right behind me, I'll be out of your way in no time. I'm in a hurry." Sutton tries to step in front of the teenager again but is pushed back a second time. "Do you know who I am?", Josh asks. "I don't give a shit B. I said you can wait yo turn like the rest of us." "That's not what I asked, I said do you know who I am." "No yo, am I supposed to know you. I see about twenty skin-headed crackers that look just like you every day." The teenager's girlfriend snickers at this. "Oh you found that funny did you? Nice piece of luggage you got here kid, how much did you pay?" The teenager looks extremely offended. "You trying to get hardcore on me dawg? I said we can take this outside." "And I SAID how much did you pay for her?" [Scene] The teenager loses his composure. He shoves Sutton back causing a domino effect. A large group of people behind Sutton fall over. Sutton climbs back to his feet and ducks a swing. He pulls the kid's shirt over his head and throws him over the tiny railing. Sutton picks up the elderly lady behind him. Sutton looks at her. "Don't let anyone take my spot. If you go ahead of me, I'll break your fucking hip! Hey, let me see that." [Scene] Sutton takes the elderly ladies' cane and bends it right down the center over the head of the teenage boy. His girlfriend screams out and jumps on Sutton's back. Sutton sighs and throws her off. "I told you that you were barking up the wrong tree." People gather around the kid to check on him and Sutton takes advantage of this as he moves further up in line. It's nearly his turn, only the obese couple and a japanese man stand in front of him. Sutton again tries to cut, but this time it's the Japanese that stops him. He chants something at Sutton in his native language. Sutton scratches his head. "Okay, this is America. Here, we speak English, okay? Comprende? Now get the fuck out of the way, por favor? That's Mexican for get the fuck out of the way, please?" Sutton waits and the Japanese remains standing in the same spot. Sutton taps his shoulder and the Japanese man turns around. "Do you no comprende English?" The obese woman at the front turns around and looks at Sutton. "Didn't your mother teach you any manners?" Sutton laughs. "Well, since we're curious about mother's teaching..Didn't your mother ever tell you that food doesn't make you happy? Jesus lady, you're one of those Jenny Craig girls. 'I eat cause I'm unhappy, I'm unhappy because I eat.' Lose some fucking weight, I have the perfect solution. How about you cancel your order, and get some exercise by running out of here!" "HMPH! I have never been so insulted. You should be ashamed of yourself. Come on, Frank, let's take our business elsewhere." "Sweet. Whereever you go, I'm sure they'll get A LOT of business." The obese couple cancel their order and leave. The Japanese man turns around now. "Yew Amewicans so stupid. Always squabbling over stupid Amewican issues." "Oh yeah, well...uh...screw you! Atleast I can see!" "YOU IS VERY RACIST MAN!" "I'm not a racist, I hate everyone equally." "Oh, I can't take anymowe of yew. I am leaving." Sutton shrugs as the Japanese man strolls off angerly. "Sweet." Sutton steps up to the cash register and pulls out his wallet. The female register worker approaches him. "Hello, welcome to Arby's. What can I get for you today." "A cup of ice water." "Will that be all?" "Yeah." "That will be twenty-five cents." [Scene] Sutton hands her a quarter and is handed a cup of ice water. The teenager gets back to his feet. "All of that bitchin' for a cup of ice and water? What the hell is your deal man?" "The name's Josh Sutton, man. And I was thirsty. Good day to you all." [Scene] Sutton takes a sip of the water and sets it down. Everyone looks at him with anger in their eyes. Sutton senses danger and runs for the door. Many people chase after him. Sutton dives through the open window of his Jaguar. Sutton starts it and starts to take off. The old lady from inside dives onto the hood of the car. Sutton panics remembering he left his water inside. Sutton slams on the breaks and the old lady falls to the ground with a thud. Sutton thinks 'Oh well, there's always McDonalds.' Sutton takes off. "I guess I was wrong. Steers and Queers aren't the only thing in Texas, a lot of dumbasses live here too. Heh" ~FADE TO BLACK
| "To women, I am like a drug....They can't get enough of me. Men envy what I have while their children look up to me as their hero." - Josh Sutton |