| ||
|
| Sutton:(Dreaming) No, no you little bastard. You can't have her, she's my wife. N..N..NO!!!! A attendant approaches Sutton, who is deep in sleep. She pokes him. Attendant: Sir...Sir, wake up, we are almost to Minnesota. She pushes him again, trying to wake him. Sutton, still in sleep rises up and wraps his hands around her throat. Sutton: I got you now you little bastar...huh? Wha? Sutton looks around in bewilderment as all the people are looking at him. He stares with a look of embarassment, his hands still around the young attendant's throat. Attendant(Hoarsely): S..Si..Sir you..you're c..ch..chok..choking me. Sutton looks at her and releases his hands from her now bright read throat. Sutton's face is beet red from embarassment. Sutton: Sorry about that ma'am, I just had a nightmare, about a 3 midget having sex with my wife. It was horrifying. Erm, uh must have been the pork steak. Attendant: How dare you insult the chef's pork steak! She slaps him across the face and walks to the end of the bus. Sutton rubs his cheek, and has a quiet laugh. Voice over Intercom: We willbe arriving at the Minneapolis bus station in about five minutes. Please gather your items quickly when we stop. Sutton opens the blind on his window and looks out. He sighs as he sees nothing but smoke filled skies and large buildings. Sutton(Thinking): So this is Minnesota, looks like a replica of Chicago, where did the architects go wrong? The only thing good to ever come out of Minnesota...is well, nothing. But they willbe famous for one thing in the aftermath of TNS, and that's a hostile showdown between Tommy Kane and myself. We'll give them the show that Kirby Puckett couldn't. The bus begins to slow and pulls into the port. It screeches as it hits the side railing, the passengers let out a sigh of relief as it finally stops. Sutton stands up, streching out after the long, tiring ride. He lifts up his compartment box above and pulls out his two large bags. Sutton pushes people out of the way, getting to the front of the line as the doors open up. The driver is yelling at someone but Sutton doesn't care as he walks down the sidewalk, he finds Damian Keyser standing by his car. Sutton runs across the street and meets up with him. Keyser: It's about damn time. Why couldn't you have just taken a flight like normal? Sutton: Because, I felt like taking apon the open road. Don't be stupid, it's because I would have had to have been on the same flight with Tommy, and you know how he is on flights. Keyser: Ah, i see your point. So you wanna go out for a night on the town to loosen up for our matches on Tuesday? Sutton: No that's ok Keyser. Just take me to the Motel 6, it's like 3 blocks from here, I guess. Keyser: Ok, sir. Haha. Sutton: Damnit Keyser, shut up. I've been here about ten minutes and already you're on my nerves, argh, Im starting to get stressed. Keyser: Settle down, this is a new car, don't be doing anything stupid. I seen what you did to Shafton, crazy bastard. Sutton: Hey, he swung at me, I politely asked him for that car. Besides I'm not stressed anymore, because your partner stole my problem. Keyser: Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that. Wonder what Ashley will say. Sutton: Oh shit, I forgot to call her before I left Chicago to tell her. Keyser: Haha. Sutton's in big trouble. What I don't understand is after Snoops stole Mini Sutton, you chased him down and tried to stop him. Why? I mean look at all the trouble he caused. Sutton: You know Damian, I never really thought of it, I guess I was so caught up in the moment that I just forgot to think. Wait, there's a pay phone over there. Go, so I can call Ashley. Keyser: Man, can't it wait? We're almost there. Sutton: No, because the longer I wait, the more upset she willbe. Pull over. Keyser: Fine, King Sutton. Ungrateful bitch. Keyser pulls over and Sutton gets out, running up to the pay phone. He picks up the receiver and discovers he has no change. Sutton: Argh, Keyser, you got a couple of quarters, I'm out. Keyser: Nope. Sorry man. Voice: Need to make a collect call? Dial down the center, 1-800-callATT. Sutton and Keyser: David Arquette? David Arquette: That's right, use 1-800-CallATT, it's the easy way to save. Sutton: How about you just give me a quarter and shut up? David Arquette: But with 1-800-CallATT, you don't need quart... Sutton picks up the phone off the hook and smacks David. Arquette falls backward and shakes the phone booth as he hits the ground. Sutton reaches into his pocket and pulls out two quarters. Keyser: Damn you are getting good at this mugging, first Shafton, now David Arquette, who's next? Sutton: Shut up or it might be you. Sutton picks up the phone and inserts the money. He dials his number and waits. On the third ring, Ashley picks up. Ashley: Hello? Sutton: Uh, ooh, it's me. Ashley: ABOUT TIME! Where have you been? Why didn't you call? Sutton: I got busy and forgot. Ashley: Well as long as you are ok. How is Mini Sutton? Sutton: Mini Sutton? Ashley: You know, the 3'9" replica of you? Sutton: OOOOH, that mini Sutton, the mini Sutton you fucked behind my back right? Oh, well I really couldn't tell you because I don't have him anymore. Ashley: Huh, why not? Sutton: Because, he was kidnapped, by The Snoops. Ashley: Awww, the poor little guy. Well, please try and get him back, I turned that tiny spare bedroom into a little midget suite. Sutton: Yea, I was shocked when he got kidnapped, it was the great...er The worst night of my life. Well, listen, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later. Ashley: Ok, bye sweetie, I love you. Sutton: Uh, yeah, me to. Bye. Sutton hangs up the phone and walks back to Keyser's car. Keyser: Damn, well let's get going. Maybe we can hang out or something. Sutton: Nah, just take me to my hotel. Keyser: I have Dumb and Dumber. Sutton: Ok, sweet dude, I'm there. Keyser: Alright let's go! ~FADE TO BLACK
| "To women, I am like a drug....They can't get enough of me. Men envy what I have while their children look up to me as their hero." - Josh Sutton
Josh Sutton and Ashley are copyright Sutton productions. |