1.Tell us when did your band start playing,who formed the band and why?
MP: Well well lets see my "band" started in the end of 99' right around the
turn of the millenium. I, the masta blasta of oral & rectal disasta formed
the "band" for the soul purpose of trying to end my life in a different
manner. But sadly it has yet to work.

2.Bands line up,and since early begins did you changed line up and if you did why?
MP: The "bands" line-up, hmmm. Well lets see, there is the masta blasta of
oral & rectal disasta on vocals and everything sacred, then there is Chevy
Chase/guitar, Scott Baio/drums, PeeWee Herman/bass, Michael J. Fox/bongos.
Sometimes the Village People come in to do back-up skin flutes, but it's not
that often. As for line-up changes, Chris Farley used to be on the bongos
but he died so we kicked him out of the "band". Oh yeah, I almost forgot, MC
Hammer used to work the "U Can't Touch This" trumpet, but we kicked him out
for being a sell out.

3.How did you found the right name for the band,was it hard for you,did you changed your name,and what does it means and does it fits to music that you are playing?
MP: Well, we started off with the name Korn, but then we heard that was
taken so we chose Limp Bizkit and would you believe it, that name was taken
to! So after viewing PeeWee one night in a movie theater I noticed one of
his body parts was lacking in size. So naturally the name just came to me,
Black Sabbath! But shit, someone took that name so we just called ourselves
Microphallus for the hell of it.

4.Can you describe your music,can you compare it to some similar bands?
MP: Elvis + 3 tabs of acid - homosexuality x Guns & Roses, then throw 2
pinches of sugar, a half quart of semen and the testicles of a frog. Stir
twice then shake and you get Microphallus. We are often compared to Dave
Matthews Band, Hottie & The Blowfish and Kiss.

5.Are you religious,do you believe in god,Satan or something else or you are atheist(you can skip this question)?
MP: Is castrating you and your child in the name of Jesus Christ all mighty
labeled as being religious? You tell me, cause I don't really know.

6.Describe us your local underground metal and core scene,is there any band that you want to mention,are there many fans of this kind of music?
MP: No, there is no such thing as a scene here. And yes, there is a band I
would like to mention at this moment. SCUM BITCH! We are pussy raping, cunt
fisting, dyke slaying, homo killing bastards, sucka!

7.Who writes your lyrics and what are they about?
MP: Mostly Chevy Chase and myself write the lyrics. When Mr. Chase writes
them they are usually focused on Caddy Shack 1&2 or his short running talk
show. When I get the chance, my lyrics are mostly focused on my lust for
Ryan from Intestinal Disgorge. You know, your basic "I want to drool all
over those big muscles of yours". I love you Ryan!

8.Do you have problems with music equipment?
MP: No, not very often. Although when the Village People come in things get
kinda out of hand. The problem there is they will not keep their hands off
eachother. I am telling you, those guys are really good friends, you should
see the things they do for/to eachother, it's amazing.

9.Is it hard to find musicians in your country that want to play that kind of music?
MP: Sometimes, I tend to find more people like Ryan who just want to play
WITH me, not any music. And that tends to get boring. Other than that,
everyone is pretty spread out, like yo momma's twat when I am in town. Hoe
hoe hoe.

10.What is your opinion about gore music and lyrics and what is your favorite gore band?
MP: They sicken me. How dare someone write such purtide, disgusting,
arrousing, sickening lyrics. What do their mothers think?!?

11.How many concerts did you played on by your opinion what was the best,do you have some special act when you are on the stage?
MP: We have played way too many shows. My ass is sore. As for our on stage
act, it mainly consists of Scott Baio break dancing, Michael J. Fox vomiting
and PeeWee Herman masturbating on a Tic-tac. It's great, you must see it!

12.Do you like gore movies?
MP: You could say I love them. But not nearly as much as I love Ryan. They
are a great way to pass the time when I am without him. Good shit is: Toxic
Avenger, Dawn of the Dead, Bloodsucking Freaks, Zombie, Maniac, Class of
Nuke'm High, you know what I mean.

13.3 favorite songs?
MP: By Microphallus: Hippie Holocaust, Bladder Blaster, and Savage Sewer
Sicko Beat. Other: Kiss "Love Gun", WASP "Blind in Texas" and Impetigo "I
Work For the Street Cleaner".

14.Did any of you played before in some other band or do you still play in some other band?
MP: Other than this crap I am doing this interview for, I also am an active
member in SCUM BITCH. I used to be in some crap called Colostomy Bag. And I
was once in Cannibal Corpse, but they kicked me out for being awesome. Oh
yeah, and I am Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain, and Jerry Garcia. Aren't I gay?

15.Plans for the future?
MP: The further pursuit of trying to end my life. And possible child birth.
Hey, who knows.

16.Say something for the end:
MP: Word, mad shout outz to my niggaz Kyle from DH, Lee from Gross, Monica
from my between my legz, Sam from ARS, EmbrYO from all the crap dat nigga
does, Magnus from Ulcerrhoea, Baron from Scum Beotch, all my local negroids,
Anthony from whatever the fuck he does, Adrian from Tourette's Syndrome, and
any other gore, grind, death, noise, retard, shit, fag who I missed. Word to
ya motha. PEACE

17.Contact info?
Microphallus
78 Nye Rd
Falmouth, MA 02540
USA
tastelessrec@hotmail.com    
www.emote.org/phallus