Hello. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Autumn Jade, but my family and friends call me AJ. I thought I'd give you some more info about my background before I get more into my story. My parents, or should I say "parents" are Louise and Jack Monroe. Louise was an English teacher and Jack was in the army. Both are retired now. I moved several times due to Jack being in the army. Jack served in the army for 20 years before retiring. So by the time we finally settled in someplace, I was 17. I was born in Tampa, Florida in February of 1980. I was your typical military kid. I can clearly remember living in California, Texas, England, and Germany before we finally settled in North Carolina. Having my dad in the army had one great advantage, and that was meeting famous people. When we lived in California, I met Johnny Carson. I thought that was the coolest person I met until I moved to Germany.
I will never forget that day. It was cold and my dad and some other guys had been hired to protect these guys who were in a band called Backstreet Boys.It was January of 1996 and Jack thought he would give me an early birthday gift and got me backstage. I stood and watched the guys.Sure I didn't know their names, but I liked the music. After they finished, they walked by me and all smiled. I watched as one put on a hat and some sunglasses. "I love those sunglasses" I told him. He looked at me and smiled. "Well, you can have them," he said. He handed them to me and smiled, leaving for some rest. I soon begin to get more into the music but never realized that the one who gave me the sunglasses was named Alexander James, or AJ for short. When we moved back to the states in 1998, it was like they followed me. So, I took that as a sign to continue to be a fan.
As I grew up and got older, I began to realize that I was way different than my parents. When I looked at pics of us all together, I looked nothing like them. Then there were the differences. They were shy around each other and strangers. They never had fun and they were deeply religious. Well, then there was me. I loved to cut up around people. I wasn't shy around guys and flirted all the time. I was religious too but still partied hard. I still recall telling them I had gotten a tattoo. They were mad until they saw it was a cross with my initials in it. Many people thought that I was in love with AJ McLean from the Backstreet Boys and received threats from a few girls until I told them my name. But I think what really drove my mom crazy was the fact I was constantly dying my hair. "Autumn Jade! Leave your beautiful blonde hair alone! Please!" My mom cried. But I was a rebel and AJ, for some reason, was like a role model to me. I felt we had so much in common.
Right before my 21st birthday, I was helping my mother clean the house. She decided that we would split the house cleaning. So for one week we cleaned the house. One day, she decided she would clean the basement and I could clean the attic of our new house. I loved living in North Carolina, close to the Blue Ridge Mountains. I carefully went up the steps and into the attic and began to clean. I happened to stumble upon many boxes of my things that dated back to my early childhood. As I went through the boxes, I found many papers that related to me. Old grade cards, old reports with A's on them, etc. I went to put the papers back and noticed a paper that had a ribbon around it. Curious, I picked it up and opened it. My eyes got wide and I was speechless. I ran down stairs, not wanting to believe what my eyes saw. Well, by this time Jack had arrived home. I came down the steps, holding the paper in my hand and praying that what I was about to ask was all false, all a joke. Jack saw my face. "Sweetie what is wrong?" "What is this? it says I am adopted! Please tell me it isn't true!" I pleaded. Louise looked at Jack and she broke down crying. "Yes, you are adopted." I sat stunned.I didn't know how to feel. I was mad, upset, angry, and sad. I threw the paper down and ran to my room and locked the door and cried. As I wept, I heard a knock at the door. "AJ, can I come in?" I heard my dad. I wiped my tears away and said yes. he came in and looked at me. "AJ, we are sorry. We were going to tell you but we held off for so long because we didn't know how to tell you." I looked at him and felt like I was looking at a stranger, even though I had known this man for almost 21 years. "If you want to know more, come down to the kitchen and we will tell you." I slowly arose and went downstairs to the kitchen with Jack. Louise began to tell me how I became adopted. I heard the story and cried.
My mom, Melinda had met my dad Bob and soon married him to become pregnant with me. A month before I was born, my father left and my mom panicked and knew she wouldn't be able to care for me alone so she met Louise and decided to let her care for me and raise me as long as my mom had some contact with me and that my real mom could name me. The two agreed and shortly after I was born, my mom died in a auto accident. Jack went looking for my dad but couldn't find him so no real kin was close to me.
I went to bed that night tossing and turning and decided that the next day I would hire someone to find my real dad based on his name being listed on the birth certificate. I awoke early the next morning and went right to a detective and gave him the information he was needing. I waited for about 3 days without anything new. On the forth day, the detective called me. My father had been found living in Florida. I quickly threw some things together, grabbed my Backstreet Boys CDs and was gone. As I drove, I wondered if I looked like him and even if he would talk to me. Fear soon entered my mind. Maybe he left because he never wanted me. Was I making a mistake by going to Florida to see my dad? I stopped at a truck station to fuel up my car, shower, and get something to eat before hitting the road again. All I could think about was him leaving and my poor mother. By the time I pulled into a hotel for the evening, I was tired and had a headache. I asked the clerk how far I was from Orlando and he told me about another 4 hours. I thanked him and told him to call my room at 7am to get me up. At 8am, I was on the road again and driving like a bat out of hell to get to the address the detective had written down for me. I wasn't sure what to expect when I got to the address by 11:45. I stepped out of the car, let loose a huge sigh, and walked up to the door.
I knocked lightly. I saw a figure aprroach the door. Before me stood this man...my dad. He looked at me and had shock on his face. "Melinda?" Nice to know he remembered my mom after all those years. "No, I am not Melinda. But I am her daughter and I am your daughter." I saw a tear drop from his eye. He reached in and embraced me. "Come on in and overlook the mess," he told me. I made my way through the house and over to the couch and sat. My dad was looking at me and just stared, then laughed. "Autumn Jade," he said. I looked at him, amazed he knew my name. "Yeah I know your name. I suggested it to Melinda before you were born. She loved that name. You were almost named Alexis Jane but I went against that for some reason. Autumn is rarely heard and so is Jade. So, how is Melinda?" I looked at him then looked down. "Melinda is dead. She died shortly after I was born. I was adopted by a family that knew her. They raised me good but never told me I was adopted." Bob had a hint of sadness in his eyes and said to me he was sorry. "So, you never seen a picture of your mother?" "No," I replied sadly. "Autumn, you look just like her. The only thing you have of mine is my lips and nose." I laughed and I suddenly could see my mother in my mind. We sat quiet for a while. "Bob, why did you leave?" I asked. Well, enough of the easy things...get out the big question. Bob looked down. "Autumn, I left for reasons you shouldn't know." I looked at him. "What the hell does that mean? I do have a right to know because I am YOUR child," I screamed. Bob looked at me. "Autumn, I left because I wasn't being a good husband to Melinda and I feared I wouldn't be good to you. So, that is why I left." Now more than ever, I felt sorry for my parents. To have a fear of not being good to your child is scary. As I cried, I took my left habd to wipe away my tears and exposed my tattoo. My father took interest in it. "That is nice," he said. Quickly he noticed what was on the inside of the banner. "AJ? Why AJ?" I smiled. "My nickname. Short for Autumn Jade, you know. You like my tattoo?" Bob nodded. "Autumn...." I looked up. "Yeah?" He was holding something back from me, but I didn't know what it was. Bob looked down and pulled some money out of his pocket. "Say, you look starved. Why don't you go get us something to eat? You can go anywhere to get it." I looked at him. Why was he suddenly assuming I was hungry? Actually, I was to some extent. "Oh..kay," I said and took the money. I walked out, with a strange feeling. As I approached the car, I actually took the time to stop and read my last name off his mailbox. Sure I had seen it but didn't pay any real attention to the last name due to my feelings. In bold letters on the mailbox was "McLean". I laughed and thought to myself "My name is Autumn Jade McLean. And my name, if shortened, is AJ McLean." I quickly got in my car and went to get something to eat because Bob was looking out the window at me. Bob watched me drive off and soon went over to the phone and dialed a number.
Bob was shaking. Ring..Ring. "Pick up!" Bob said. "Hello?" the other voice said. "Yeah, I need you to come over here ASAP son." Silence. "I really don't have the time. I am kinda busy right now," the other voice said. "I really need you to come over here. I have someone I need you to meet." "Needing my approval for a girlfriend? You really don't need it you know," the voice said. "Son, please?" Bob pleaded. "Dad, as I said I am really busy and would love to spend some time with you..."the voice was saying before Bob screamed. "I want you to meet your sister." Click. they had hung up. Bob looked around and decided he needed to clean up if Autumn was about to meet the famous brother she never knew she had. Kevin looked over at AJ. "Man, you okay?" AJ looked up from the floor, his index finger and thumb on his chin. "Yeah man, I'm okay. Listen, uh, my dad needs to see me. Can we cut the writing short for a while?" Nick, Howie, Kevin, and Brian all look at each other. "Yeah," Brian says. "Besides, me and Kevin have to go meet our wives for lunch." AJ is still distracted by something. "Nick, Howie? You two wanna ride with me to my dad's? I think I need someone to go with me." Howie and Nick say yeah. They go out before AJ. Before he goes out the door, AJ grabs his cell phone. Kevin stops AJ. "You wanna tell us what is going on?" AJ looks up and removes his sunglasses. "Guys, I'm going to meet my sister," he says in a somber tone. Both Kevin and Brian have a look of shock on their faces. AJ goes out to his car where Nick and Howie are waiting and starts the car. "Guys, you won't believe this. I am about to meet my sister." Howie and Nick look at each other much like Brian and Kevin had earlier."Did you say sister?" Howie asked, still stunned. AJ nodded. He hears his words in his head: sister. AJ begins to ask himself many questions. How old is she? I wonder if she knows about me? I wonder what she is like? Nick interupts his thughts. "I wonder if your sister is cute. Then I could take her out sometime." Howie laughs while AJ looks back at Nick. "There is no chance of that happening Nicky because I won't allow it." "Wow, already an overprotective brother!" Howie says. AJ grins and turns up "My Way" by Limp Bizkat and speeds up some.
I arrive back at Bob's with "Rollin" by Limp Bizkat going until I turn the car off. I quickly run back to the house because smelling the food has made me hungry. I walk in and see that Bob has straightened up the house some. "Autumn, I am in the kitchen," Bob says. I walked in and he sees the McDonald's bag. "uh, what did you get me?" I look at him. "I didn't know what you like so I got you a Big Mac meal." "And what did you get? I might want to swap with you." "Well..I got what I always get. I got me a Quarter Pounder meal and my drink of sweet tea with two lemons." Bob smiled at me and gave me a plate to put my food on. "She scared me there" he thought. We sat and ate in silence. "So Autumn, tell me about yourself." I put my drink down. "Well, I am 21 and graduated from UNC not too long ago. I like reading and listening to music." "Really?" Bob said. "Like what?" I finished eating my fry then answerd him. "Little bit of everything. I like Coltrane, Elvis, Beatles, Limp Bizkat and I even like the Backstreet Boys. Weird huh? I am 21 and so into a boy band." I smiled. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. "Excuse me," Bob said. "Oh, by the way, your mom was an Elvis fan", he said before going to the living room to answer the door. Bob opened the door and AJ soon bolted in. "Where is she? Have you told her yet?" AJ asked. Bob said no while pointing towards the kitchen. AJ made a mad dash for the kitchen as Howie and Nick had finally made it inside. AJ stopped right in front of the kitchen and took off his sunglasses to get a better view of his sister. Bob made his way in and whispered to AJ to go back to his bedroom and take the guys with him so he could tell me I had a brother. Bob came back into the kitchen and sat down as I finshed eating. "Autumn, there is something I have to tell you." I looked up at him. "You have a brother. He is in the back bedroom, my bedroom. But I want to prepare you because he isn't typical, like you and me." Okay, hearing this scared me. Bob got up and I followed him to the bedroom. When he opened the door, I wanted so badly to scream and faint. My brother was AJ. We stood and looked at each other, both crying. Then we hugged each other.
A few days passed and the guys had to head to New York for three days. Day one had them on TRL, day two on "The View" and Rosie. Day three was a benefit they were going to. AJ convinced me to come with him and the guys. I think I finally realized what the guys put up with. I mean I saw a zillion girls screaming at them. But this was also a time of confusion due to the fact that when the guys screamed AJ, They now had two A.J's looking at them. But we did have fun. As a matter of fact, I got to see some of the famous pranks they pull on each other. AJ got Nick good with a water gun and Nick swore revenge as we entered the TRL studio. As soon as we got to the TRL set, I saw Carson Daly! Carson came over and was really friendly. "Carson, this is my sister Autumn." Carson's eyes grew big when he heard that. The guys had to go get ready so I stayed in the camera area as TRL came on. When the guys were mentioned, they came out. After a good while, Carson got to talking to the guys one by one. When it came AJ's turn, I was mentioned. My eyes soon were wide open and all I could do was sit and listen to AJ talk about how we found each other. I didn't want to be mobbed myself but things only got worse for me because Carson wanted me to come on camera. I shook my head no but AJ jumped up and brought me over to the camera. Okay, now THIS was the last thing I wanted...to have no privacy anymore. From that point out, I would be known as AJ's sister.
Nothing really happened later in the day. We all hung out together until around 3am then we parted to go to bed. Around 4am, I was awakened by a knocking on my door. I go to answer the door, and there is a delievery boy in front of me. "Here's your pizza's. And it is already paid for." I am half asleep so I really don't pay any attention to this. I set the 4 pizzas down and go back to bed. At around 7am, I wake up and smell something bad. It was the pizzas. I look at the receit...extra onions, peppers, and garlic sauce. Oh I was mad! Who would have done that to....I stop and remember what Nick had said. Okay, now I am pissed. I begin to get ideas of revenge in my head. Later, I saw the guys on "The View" and Rosie. I had gotten a new room by the time they had returned. "Autumn, why are you in a new room?" Kevin asked, slightly puzzled. I tell them about the pizza incident and not only are they upset, but laughing as well. "Hey Autumn, you want to go out shopping with us?" Brian asked and when I hear the word "shopping" I smile. "I take that as a yes?" I look over and Brian and say "What are we waiting for?!" We go out to SoHo an do some shopping. I am shocked at the prices that someone wants just for some shoes. I decide I rather look than buy just because I am not made out of money. When we walk into this cowboy like store, AJ immediately walks over to the hat section and the other guys scatter out. As I am looking at a pair of $75 boots, Howie comes over to talk to me. I feel myself shaking and I do that everytime I see Howie and talk to him. "You say you want to shop, but yet you aren't buying anything." I look up. "No offense, but I can't afford half this stuff and I am not use to spending $75 on boots. Anytime I wanted boots, I went to Wal-Mart or someplace like that.I know that sounds lame but Howie, I just don't have the money for some of these things." Howie looks over at AJ, who has found what I believe is the wildest looking hat yet. "Well, why don't you just tell AJ you found something but you are running short. I bet he would buy anything for you. I bet any of us would." I stand and decide. "No..I don't want to do that." I go back to looking and AJ comes over wearing the hat. "So whatcha think?" I laugh and say "that is definately you AJ." He notices me staring at the boots again. "Sis, you like those boots?" I nod. I think AJ knows why I haven't grabbed them up yet. Calling for an assitant, he tells the woman to put the boots on his tab. "AJ..I don't want you to buy them for me." "Hey...somebody has to spoil you some. I really don't mind. As it is, those boots are wild looking and I bet you can find an outfit here to go with them." I take that as a sign, a sign I am not wanting. I know AJ has meant good with everything, but I have too much pride to accept charity...yet I really want the boots and nothing else. We are leaving the story and about to hit another one when suddenly we hear it....screaming. "Great. The fans find us again," Nick says. The fans see the guys and pick up the speed and our ride is not there! We all run back into the store and the owner locks the door. "We are sorry about this,"Kevin tells the owner. The owner shakes her head and says it is no problem. I am standing by the window and can make the top of the limo out. "Guys, ride is here. But how are we getting out?" "Back door," Brian says. AJ asks to use the owners phone to call the limo driver and tell him to act like he is leaving and to go to the back. We sit and wait and the girls are still screaming. The phone rings and the driver is on the other end, saying ready. "AJ, I think Autumn should go out first. I don't think she should be with us as we run to the limo because the fans might get at her too," Howie says. "D, you are right. Sis, go on out." AJ says. I wasn't going to argue. I ran right out and got into the limo. As I sat in the limo and watched, Kevin came running out first followed by the rest of the guys. Then we gone back to the hotel. At the hotel the guys got together and hung out while I went back to my room and watched t.v. Halfway into a movie, there was a knock at my door. I opened it and saw Howie. "Hey, come on in" I told him. He entered and asked me if I was okay. "I think so. After this afternoon, I don't know what to think." Howie smiled. "You will get use to it. It is a little nerve wrecking, AJ wanted me to come get you and bring you up to eat and hang out with us." I smiled. "Thanks but I will stick around here tonight. I don't want to bother you guys." "How will you be bothering us? All we will do is kid around with each other. Maybe throw pillows at each other but you won't bother us." I sighed. "Okay. let me get a shower first. I know we will probably be up late." Howie nodded. "I'll just wait for you then." I smiled "Howie, you don't have to. I can find the room. I might be a blonde but I am not that stupid to where I can't find the room." "No,"Howie said, "I want to wait. Beside, it is better if you have someone to talk to while on the elevator." "Good point." I went and took a quick shower then was ready to head on up. When we got there, the guys sat waiting. "About time! I am starving!" Nick said. "Kevin wanted us to wait on the two of you." I looked "So what are we having???" AJ smiled. "It was my night to pick our supper." "uh-oh" I said. "Why do I sense we are going to be eating McDonald's?" Brian looked over at me. "WOW! She is good! Unless Howie told her." I laughed and sat down to my Quarter Pounder. I sat around and listened to them talk. "Kevin, what time is that party tomorrow night? I need to know so I can have my suit ready" AJ said. I looked at the guys, puzzled. "There is a party?" "Yeah, we are going to this fund raiser thing. Hate to say it but you are going to be stuck in the hotel alone sis." "Well, it's okay. I know you guys have to attend it, so I will be okay. I can always go outor something. I'll be okay." I reaasured them saying "I'll be okay" more than what I should have. AJ smiled. "It's all good then," and playfully threw a french fry at me. "HEY!" I yelled as I threw two fries at him. "Oh you are so dead for that," AJ said while jumping up from the couch and chasing me around the room. "AJ, it was only fair that she do that to you," Kevin remarked. I laughed. "YES! I have an ally!" AJ smiled and went and got a good amount of fries and threw them at Kevin. "AJ, you are in so much trouble." "You got to catch me first. And I don't think you can as old as you are!" Well, Kevin jumped up and was chasing AJ around the room before he ran into the bedroom and locked the door. Nick and Brian were laughing and Howie just rolled his eyes. "Geez, kids calm down." Kevin and I looked at Howie. "Kids huh?" Kevin had picked up a piece of paper, wadded it up, and threw it at Howie. Now, Howie was chasing Kevin around the room and tried to throw the paper back at him, but missed hitting Nick. "Howie! What did I do?" "I guess that is payback from what you done to me the other night after TRL went off. Taking my hair and holding it up singing that song from 'Hair'." Well Nick was up this time play wrestling with Howie. Well Brian is sitting there and suddenly jumps into the mess, helping Kevin out with Howie and Nick. I laugh aloud and sneaked over to the door where Aj was and slightly knocked. He opened it and saw me and helped me get away from the guys while they were wrestling. "Boys will be boys," I say to AJ. AJ looks at me. "Autumn, I know who sent you those pizzas. I overheard Nick telling Brian about it. You want me to get him back for you?" Ah, a brother's love to help get revenge, i think. "Naw, I can do it myself." Silence. "Okay...they have killed each other," Aj says while heading to the door. He looks out and the guys are playing cards. AJ and I head out of the room and join the guys. "Hey, what two songs are we gonna sing tomorrow night?" Nick ask. "Whoa...we ddin't decide did we?" AJ replies. They all sit and debate on the two songs they are going to sing. Howie stops the guys. "I know how to settle this. Autumn, what songs do you think we should sing?" I sit and think. "Well, I know I like 'I Want it That Way' and 'Shape of my Heart'." The guys agree to sing those songs. At around 2:30am, the guys decided to call it a night due to the fact that the guys had to get up and reherse at around 11 and then do an interview. As I was in the elevator going to my room, I got an idea on how I could get nick back. As soon as I got to my room, I got out my tape recorder. Aj and I had been singing( well screaming) some songs in the car. I found a blank tape and got what I wanted down on tape. I went back down to the front desk and told the guy that Nick wanted to be phoned every hour to hear that tape so he could get use to that sound. "And may I ask what is on it?" the desk clerk said. I told him to hit play if he wanted. When he did, he heard a girl say 'Oh My God! It's Nick!' and then a scream followed. The guy asked how long he was to play the tape and I said until his wake up call, which was for around 9am. As I went to bed, a huge smile came across my face.
I awoke the next day at around noon and headed down to the front desk to get my tape recorder. After a quick cab ride, I arrived to the place where the party was going to be so I could hear the guys go through rehersal. I walked in and immediately spotted Nick. He looked awful, like he hadn't got any sleep. AJ was sitting at a table, on the phone and Howie was also on his phone. Brian looked up and saw me. "Autumn! About time you joined us for lunch." I smiled. "Well, as long as we don't throw it at each other, it will be lunch." I smiled. AJ got off the table and walked over my way and said bye to whoever he was talking to. Howie got up and went over to the side of the room. I looked around. "Hey, where is Kevin?" About that time he popped up. As we sat down to eat I kept my eyes on Howie. He looked upset about something. He hung up the phone and came over. "Autumn, I didn't see you come in." "Well," I said," you were on the phone." I looked over at Nick and he was half-asleep. "Yo NICK! Wake up man," AJ screamed. "Nick, why you look so tired? Have a wild night?" I saked. "Some girl kept calling me every hour freaking out. I didn't get any sleep." I looked in my purse and got the tape recorder out. "Nick? She sound like this?" I played the tape. Nick heard it and jumped up and his eyes got big. "YOU were behind it?" I nodded. "MAN! What did I do to you?" "Well you sent me those smelly pizzas." Nick looked down. He was silent. he looked back up and only said "that was good." "Guys, I'll be right back," I said heading over to a payphone. I had to call North Carolina. "Okay I think that is scary. That was something AJ would have done," Kevin said. AJ was smiling and looked proud of his sis. Brian looked over at Howie. "D, what is wrong?" Howie sighed. "My date had something to come up so I am coming here tonight solo." AJ looked down. "No you don't. I know where we can get a sub." AJ looked right over at me and pointed. Howie looked. "You think she will?" "Yeah, I'll ask her to do it as a favor to you. She always helps friends out from what she told me and you are a friend to her through me." I'll go ask her. I had put the phone down and saw AJ. "Sis, I need a favor. Well actually Howie is needing it." I looked over. "Yeah?" In my mind I was thinking I would do anything for Howie. "well, his date had something to suddenly come up and he has to come to the benefit alone tonight." I knew where this was going. I didn't know what to say. If I saud no he would be alone and if I said yes I would make a fool out of myself somehow. It always happened with a guy I liked. "AJ, I would love to but I don't have a dress or shoes or ..well anything! And the thing starts in 6 hours." Aj looked at me. "If I were to buy your things would you go?" I saw Howie coming over to us and I just had to see those beautiful brown eyes of his. "Okay. I'll do it. But I need someone to go with me when I get my dress." AJ smiled and Howie came over and Aj pulled Howie with him. He told Howie and Howie smiled. I ran past them and grabbed my purse. "AJ? Who is going with me?" "I will," AJ said.
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