Title: ‘Twas the Night Before Stargate
Author: Fai
Status: Complete
Spoilers: Fallen, Homecoming and Meridian to a degree
Category: Anybody's guess–maybe humor, maybe Action/Adventure, mostly silly
Pairings: None
Season: 7
Rating: G
Content Warning: Bad poetry
Summary: The ballad of Daniel and Jonas

Authors Note: I don’t know why, I don’t know why, I don’t know why.

                                          ~~ * ~~

‘Twas the night before Stargate and all through the lands,
Avid Danielites sat poised, remotes clutched in their hands.
All family and friends were told not to be calling,
For this was eve of the day our dear doctor was falling. 

Night beget day and none-too-soon sun was setting,
VCR’s sprang to life, our Stargate appetites whetting.
The clock struck the hour, we watched with breaths bated,
Then at last it began, and oh, my, that boy’s naked.

He lay in a heap, sure not who he was,
No one on this planet apparently does.
But fear not, they do tell him, and bring him to safety,
They offer him clothing, which he appears to need greatly.

Meanwhile, back on Earth at the Stargate Command,
Jonas yells ‘I’ve got it!’ Ancient text held triumphant in hand.
Hear this Teal’c, hear this General, oh , please,  hear this Sam,
It was backwards, I tell ya, now quite certain I am. 

And so he did sway them one by one to his view,
But now that they know this, what are they to do?
They have the Ancients’ addresses Jack once had stuck in his head,
Just let the computer mark the last gate he’d entered in red.

Soon they were geared up and through the gate were they ambling,
Only to find not the Ancients, but an old man who liked rambling.
However, another surprise did this planet have for them,
Daniel had descended, he had, just as had Orlin!

Come back with us, Daniel, his team with him pled,
We want you home, now that you’re no longer dead.
But what ifs and fears were nagging deep in his heart,
What if I’m evil, it could tear me apart.

With sisterly love, Sam told him truly,
You’re a good person Daniel, you do nothing cruelly.
A moment he took with his thoughts all alone,
Then finally decided, it was time to go home.

The team returned home, their new old friend with them,
But what to do with a Daniel that keeps calling Jack, Jim?
Memories of Jack and the team most times were unclear,
The Ancients’ language however, he could read without fear.

With Daniel’s new knowledge, a plan they did hatch,
To bring Anubis down, but there was one little catch.
This plan, per Jack’s say so, was totally wacky,
But they might pull it off, if only just barely.

So off went Daniel and Jonas to Anubis’ ship with a mission -
To translate his super weapon’s one fatal flaws position.
Jack and Sam engaged in firefight in their new F-302,
While waiting to hear from the two men what next they should do.

At last the word came and there was success ala Star Wars,
But Anubis had captured at least one of the saboteurs.  
Jonas was a prisoner and poor Daniel was hiding,
Teal’c was stuck on Yu’s ship while the Goa’uld’s mind was sliding.

Back on Kelowna home of one Jonas Quinn,
The natives fought with each other while Anubis moved in.
Daniel freed Jonas while Teal’c bargained with Ba’al,
And Jack was certain the Kelownans would be the death of them all.

With understanding on Sam’s part, the hunt for the crystal was on,
They found it first, but couldn’t keep it for long.
With Jaffa and traitors all shooting it out,
Someone was bound to get hurt, of this not a doubt.

The sights were lined up with Daniel the prey,
But Jonas would jump in and save the day.
Anubis was run off, tail between legs,
Jonas please come back, the Kelownans did beg.

Now a full circle the two men have completed,
Daniel will take up where once Jonas was needed.
With ‘please feed my fish’ and goodbyes to all,
Jonas stepped through the gate to his home that did call.

Daniel stared at the Stargate where his path again laid,
For this life we lead Jack, do we really get paid?
And so it had ended, or did it just start,
Daniel Jackson is back, and so is SG1’s heart.

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