Idiots

Idiots
IDIOTS IN SERVICE:
This week, ALL our phones went dead and I had to contact the phone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, he asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" He also requested that we report future outages by email. (Does YOUR email work without a telephone line???).
IDIOTS AT WORK:
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed.
When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had signed on the receipt.
As luck would have it -- they matched!
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
IDIOT SIGHTINGS:
Idiot Sighting #1:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when the airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled and nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask!"
Idiot Sighting #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectectually-challenged co-worker of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. She responded, appalled, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"
Idiot Sighting #3:
At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear co-worker who is leaving the company due to "downsizing", our manager spoke up and said, "This is fun. We should have lunch like this more often." Not another word was spoken. We just looked at each other with that deer in the headlights look.
Idiot Sighting #4:
I worked with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her could not understand why her system would not turn on.
Idiot Sighting #5:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told that the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was open. "Hey", I announced to the technician, "It's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."
NOW DON'T YOU FEEL BETTER?

		Idiots
		IDIOTS IN SERVICE: This week, ALL our phones went dead and I had to contact the phone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, he asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" He also requested that we report future outages by email. (Does YOUR email work without a telephone line???). IDIOTS AT WORK: I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had signed on the receipt. As luck would have it -- they matched! IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD: I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there. IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. IDIOT SIGHTINGS: Idiot Sighting #1: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when the airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled and nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask!" Idiot Sighting #2: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectectually-challenged co-worker of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. She responded, appalled, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?" Idiot Sighting #3: At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear co-worker who is leaving the company due to "downsizing", our manager spoke up and said, "This is fun. We should have lunch like this more often." Not another word was spoken. We just looked at each other with that deer in the headlights look. Idiot Sighting #4: I worked with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her could not understand why her system would not turn on. Idiot Sighting #5: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told that the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was open. "Hey", I announced to the technician, "It's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side." NOW DON'T YOU FEEL BETTER?