It wasn't because Dee dated a different person every night, up until a few years ago. It also wasn't because he was dealing with and unrequited love to rival any in the movies. At the moment, the object of his unrequited love was sitting at the desk facing his. Working on a report, happily munching some of the seasoned popcorn someone else in the bullpen had brought in as a counter to all the sugary sweets that others had brought in. Dressed as neatly as ever, in a shirt and tie that actually matched, Ryo was the embodiment of order and masculine beauty, in Dee's eyes at least.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

His partner's voice brought Dee back to himself. He jerked his eyes up to meet Ryo's, and tried for his usual sarcastic grin and flippant tone, "Nah, they aren't worth that much. Between the weather and the Moller case, this week has kinda sucked. I'm almost done with my part of the paperwork. Once I'm done, I'll take it into the Chief and see if I can cut out early, maybe get some sleep."

Ryo cocked his head slightly to his right, studying his partner. His brow slightly furrowed. Something was slightly off with Dee, had been for a few weeks now, but it was worse today. He tried to hide it, but Ryo could tell that Dee wasn't his normal self. He'd been quieter, and a bit more jumpy. But Ryo pushed those thoughts to the side. If Dee wanted to play it like nothing was going on, thatŐs how they'd play it. "Sounds good. I'm feeling the effects of these last few days myself. Will you be coming to dinner? Bikky's making burritos." At Dee's questioning look Ryo explained, "Last week Carol said something about wanting a man who can cook for her from time to time." Ryo and Dee shared a smile at the teen's behavior.

Dee opened his mouth to accept, then caught sight of the Valentine's decorations someone had tacked up over the coffee machine. His smile slipped a little, and a little of his previous depression returned. Dee thought about the project he had started the previous night. He'd been too wound up from the bust early that afternoon, and with too many of his old demons rattling around his empty apartment to sleep. "As much as the little shit'd probly like to poison me with his cooking, I think I'll take a pass. I haven't been by to see the Penguin in over a month. Besides, I have dustbunnies with 3-inch fangs, and leftovers in my fridge that are working on plans to take over the world." Dee laughed a little and shot Ryo one of his patented smirks, "I'll probly clean up, get some groceries, do laundry, stuff like that. Besides, I was too keyed up to really sleep last night, so I'll zonk early tonight."

Dee knew from the slight widening of Ryo's eyes, and the slightly confused look on his partner's face that he'd surprised him. Dee usually invited himself over, sometimes for the night, and practically had to be pried from Ryo's side with a crowbar. But he needed to get back to his apartment, needed to finish it. Dee took advantage of Ryo's confusion to quickly wrap up his part of the paperwork, and make good on his escape. Dee drove home, then walked the few blocks to the neighborhood block of stores. He needed to get a few supplies before he could complete his project, and he needed to shake off some of his thoughts.

Ryo was still confused by Dee's evasiveness. Even though the reasons his partner had cited were valid enough, Ryo got the feeling that he was lying, or at least not telling him the whole truth. As Ryo put the final touches on his part of the paperwork, he mentally ran over their latest cases and anything else he could think of that might have upset his partner, shaking his head when he came up blank. Nothing Ryo could think of that they had had to deal with lately was all that unusual or traumatic. Ryo grabbed his coat as he made his way to the Chief's office to hand in his part of the reports. As he left the precinct, Ryo checked his watch. If he was lucky he could catch the subway and meet up with Dee at the orphanage, and find out what was bothering his partner.

His luck held, and Ryo was at the orphanage only fifteen minutes later. Several of the children called out greetings as he walked the few blocks from the subway, recognizing him from the handful of times he'd visited with Dee. By the time he'd reached the front door, the word had spread, and Mother Maria Lane was waiting to greet him, "It's been a while since you've visited. It's a shame you couldn't convince Dee to come with you, he's been missed by the children."

"Um, I was hoping to find him here. He said he was going to visit, then go home."

Mother shook her head, "It would be nice to see Dee, but he never visits this time of year. Not since he left, and even before that, he always found some way to be away from the orphanage. He stopped celebrating Valentine's Day when he was 15. It was heartbreaking to see." Mother Maria saw the look of puzzlement on Ryo's face as she spoke, and it broke her heart. Obviously Dee had not told Ryo about any of it. When Dee had first begun telling her about his new partner Ryo, and his feelings for him, she'd hoped that it would work out for her 'son'. When she had first met Ryo, seen the kind of person he was, and his physical resemblance to Arnon, she'd prayed that the quiet young man would help Dee heal his soul. And it seemed her prayers were being answered. Every time the two men had visited, she'd seen the depth of emotion between them. She had also seen the internal struggle that Ryo seemed to wage every time Dee had made a move on him. But apparently Dee was holding back parts of his past. Mother wasn't sure if it was from fear, or from something else, but she felt a certainty settle over her. "Come inside, Ryo. I'll make some tea, and tell you what I know about why Dee always gets a bit depressed on Valentine's Day."

Ryo knocked gently on Dee's door. He wasn't sure how long he'd wandered the neighborhood around the orphanage, trying to reconcile the brash, arrogant Dee that he knew with the wounded, fragile Dee that Mother had described. He'd found himself standing in front of a bodega with a display of Valentine's candy in the front window. Staring at the garish arrangement of reds and pinks, a decision had crystallized in him. Christmas was a painful time for him to be alone. Wittingly or not, Dee hadn't let him suffer alone. He'd do the same for Dee now. As he had turned to make the trek to the subway station to get to Dee's place, one of the candies on display caught his eye. Ryo went into the bodega with a smile.

Now, Ryo waited patiently for his partner to open the door, only to realize that the rhythmic vibrating of a stereo turned up too loud was coming from Dee's apartment. His partner probably wouldn't hear if Ryo pounded the door down. Ryo tried the door, and was surprised when it turned out to be unlocked. He cautiously entered, unsure of his welcome. Dee was at the far end of the main room, with the stereo blasting Billy Idol's "Don't You Forget About Me". Ryo kicked off his shoes, took off his coat and set it on the kitchen table along with the little bag from the bodega. He felt in his front pants pocket for the item he'd put there during the subway ride over. As Ryo moved over to the alcove, that song ended, and the next song came up. Ryo eased onto the cushions piled on the window seat, then brought his legs up and crossed them as the opening chords of No Doubt's "Don't Speak" resounded through the small apartment. Ryo got his first look at what Dee was doing as he sat down.

An old bedsheet was spread out on the floor, and Dee stood on it wearing a white t-shirt that had seen many better days, and a pair of blue jeans that had been worn to a soft powder blue with washing and age. At his right, a beat-up, old nightstand held an old cookie sheet on its top, and a bunch of paint tubes standing in its open drawer. In front of Dee, a small folding easel had been set up. A piece of drawing board was on the easel, a piece of watercolor paper was taped to it at the very corners. Dee was working on a portrait of a boy, only about eight years old. The boy could have been a young Ryo, except for the eyes. The hair was the same honeyed-brown color, the face showed promise of maturing into the elfin slenderness like Ryo's, and the smile had much of the same open joy that Ryo's did. However, Ryo's eyes were dark, almost black, and had a slight slant, hinting at his Asian heritage. The boy in the picture was definitely of European descent, with bright German-blue eyes.

"It's beautiful." Ryo was glad he had waited until Dee turned to rinse his brush to speak. If Dee had been painting, his jerk of surprise at Ryo's soft compliment would have ruined the painting. Dee dropped the brush into the glass of water on the nightstand, whipping around to face his partner. "You left your door unlocked. Since you couldn't hear me knocking over Billy, I decided to let myself in. Is that Arnon? I can see why you fell in love with him," Ryo inclined his head towards the picture as he spoke.

Dee looked a bit stunned, and turned his head to look at the picture as he answered, "Yeah. Before everything happened, before we even started dating." Dee suddenly whipped his head back towards Ryo, pinning the brunette with a piercing look, "I never told you about Arnon and I."

Ryo smiled gently, "I stopped past the orphanage after I got done at the precinct, I wanted to talk to you, try and find out why you were acting strangely. Mother told me. At least, she told me what parts she knew," he amended. "More importantly, why didn't you tell me?" Ryo let his hurt at that creep into his voice, "I thought you trusted me. I thought we told each other everything."

Dee kept his eyes on the floor at the edge of the bed, a guilty look on his face, "I . . . I thought about trying to tell you about it. But . . . I just couldn't." Dee suddenly looked up, a stubborn look on his face. "Besides, how's this any different from how I found out your parents? Rose told me about your parents, the Penguin told you about Arnon."

Ryo's eyes widened in shock at the attack, then crinkled with a wry grin, "You're right, I have no right to complain."

"So, why are you here, anyway?" Dee wrapped his arms around himself defensively as he regarded his partner with a wary look.

"Because Mother told me about Arnon, and what happened to him. I wanted to hear your memories. I thought it might help if you talked about him." Ryo's tone and body language reflected nothing but complete sincerity and care.

"Anything specific you wanna know?" Dee stood back towards the door of the apartment, forming a triangle with Ryo and the portrait as the other points, hands shoved into his back pockets to hide the slight tremor in them. Though his body language was less defensive, it was far from Dee's normal ease and friendliness.

Ryo cocked his head to the side as he regarded his partner, "Why did you make him so young in the painting? He couldn't be more than eight or nine in it." Ryo shifted to the side some, patting the bed next him.

Dee flopped down, leaning back on his elbows as he answered, "He's eight and five months. Because that was when I first fell in love with him. I'm sure the Penguin told you what happened." Bitterness crept into his voice as he examined the portrait of his first love.

"No, she didn't. What did Arnon do that made you fall in love?" Ryo's voice was mostly neutral, but still gentle and curious. Inquiring, but not demanding answers.

"Well, candy was a pretty rare treat. That year, the guy that owned the grocery store down the street gave us a bunch of Valentine's candy, little personal boxes of those stupid conversation hearts. I never liked them much anyway, waaaaay too sweet. Anyway, even though he gave us a bunch, there weren't enough to go around. So me an' some of the older kids gave up our box of candy so the littler ones could have 'em. We were all outside, goofing around, and Arnon comes up. He doesn't say anything, just hands me two of those stupid candy hearts. One of them was yellow and said "you're sweet" and the other one was white and said "be mine". Then he gives me this big, cheesy grin, and runs off." Dee broke off, clearing his throat. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. "It's dumb, but that was the nicest thing anyone had ever done or sort-of said about me. The next year, he must've scrounged some change and bought himself a box or something, 'cuz he handed me two hearts the next year, too. It became a tradition. One of them always said "be mine" and the other was always something complementary. The year we started dating, I bought a box of the damn things and gave him one that said "be mine" and one that said "kiss me". It was our thing." Dee spoke with none of his usual flippancy, and the pain that had tinged his reminiscences was the dull ache of an old injury. Dee looked over to meet Ryo's eyes, "That's why I hate Valentine's Day. It reminds me of . . . everything." Dee's haunted gaze shifted to the portrait for a moment, the returned to his partner. "This was a . . . a good-bye. I needed to put him in the past, to move on," his voice dropping from a low murmur to a broken whisper, stopping as the emotions clogged his throat.

Ryo put his arm around Dee, hugging him to his chest. He spoke with all of the warmth and strength of the emotions swirling inside of him, "That is the sappiest, mushiest, and overall the sweetest thing I've ever heard. Mother told me about that tradition, but she didn't know how important it was to you two." Ryo hesitated, thinking, before bounding up and rummaging in the little bag from the bodega. He pulled something out and went back to kneeling beside Dee on the bed before the other man could do more than blink and open his mouth to ask what Ryo was doing. "The only time I've ever been alone at Christmas was the year my parents died. I was almost alone the year before last, but you came over, and kept me company both then and this last year. So, I want to do the same for you. This is only for this year," Ryo pulled the little candy out of his front pocket and presented it to Dee. Dee turned the little yellow heart over, and felt himself get a little misty-eyed when he read the words "u r a 10". Ryo didn't let him get too emotional about it, putting the object he'd gotten from the bag on Dee's palm over the little conversation heart. The larger candy was also heart-shaped, but it was wrapped in gold-and-red patterned foil. "This, however, is our tradition. Go ahead, taste it," Ryo insisted, his earnest insistence lending him the air of a child dictating something of vital importance.

Dee shot a glance at his partner, who watched him impatiently. Dee mentally shrugged, then did as he was told. He set the conversation heart aside, unwrapped the chocolate, then took a small bite. The taste that filled his mouth different than the smooth sweetness that he expected, and looking at it, Dee realized it was not milk chocolate, like he'd assumed.

"It's dark chocolate. Dark chocolate isn't as universally liked as milk. Its flavor is less sweet, more rich, and some people can't appreciate it. In fact, it's used in recipes because of that, and its flavor works well with certain other ingredients. But it's perfect for us. We both have darker places in our souls." Dee might've believed that Ryo was humoring him, or pandering to the memory of a innocent childhood ritual, except for Ryo's tone of voice. It revealed his utmost sincerity, as well as a wealth of other emotions that Dee was hesitant to put names to. "We both are something of an acquired taste, and we both improve when we work in harmony with the right other people. And from now on, you and I will have dark chocolate to remember that." Ryo sat back, waiting for Dee's reaction to his metaphor.

Dee was stunned. The thoughtfulness of his partner had knocked him for a loop, and he wasn't sure how he felt about anything at the moment. Dee dropped his head to rest on Ryo's shoulder, staring at Arnon's portrait as he tried to stop his thoughts from spinning. "Thank you." And though it was inadequate, it was all he could say, "Thank you so much."

Ryo understood. He wrapped his arms around Dee's shoulders, holding him tightly. They sat like that for what could have been hours, or only minutes, just giving and receiving comfort from each other. Eventually, they shifted to lie on the bed and fall asleep like that. If there had been anyone else in the apartment, they might have noticed that as the two men slept, their upper bodies curled enough that each could rest his head on the other's shoulder. With their legs stretched out and touching, they formed a heart.