Top 75 things you don't want the SysAdmin to say...

  1. Uh-oh.....
  2. Shit!!
  3. What the hell!?
  4. Go get your backup tape. (You DO have a backup tape?)
  5. That's SOOOOO bizarre.
  6. Wow!! Look at this.....
  7. Terminated??!
  8. What software license?
  9. Well, it's doing SOMETHING.....
  10. Wow....that seemed FAST.....
  11. I got a better job at Lockheed...
  12. Management says...
  13. Sorry, the new equipment didn't get budgetted.
  14. What do you mean that wasn't a copy?
  15. It didn't do that a minute ago...
  16. Where's the GUI on this thing?
  17. Damn, and I just bought that soda...
  18. Where's the DIR command?
  19. The drive ate the tape but that's OK, I brought my screwdriver.
  20. I cleaned up the root partition and now there's LOTS of free space.
  21. What's this "any" key I'm supposed to press?
  22. Do you smell something?
  23. What's that grinding sound?
  24. I've never seen it do THAT before...
  25. I don't think it should be doing that...
  26. I remember the last time I saw it do that...
  27. You might as well all go home early today ...
  28. My leave starts tomorrow.
  29. Ooops.
  30. Hmm, maybe if I do this...
  31. Hmmm, curious...
  32. Well, MY files were backed up.
  33. What do you mean you needed that directory?
  34. Do you really need your home directory to do any work?
  35. The network will be down until 8pm, but you can come back in and finish your work when it comes up tonight.
  36. I didn't think anybody would be doing any work at 2am, so I killed your job.
  37. Wonder what THIS command does?
  38. What did you say your user name was...?
  39. You did WHAT to the floppy???
  40. Sorry, we deleted that package last week...
  41. NO! Not THAT button!
  42. YEEEHA!!! What a CRASH!!!
  43. What do you mean that could take down the whole network?
  44. What's this switch for anyways...?
  45. If I knew it wasn't going to work, I would have tested it sooner.
  46. Was that YOUR directory?
  47. System coming down in 0 min....
  48. The backup procedure works fine, but the restore is tricky!
  49. Hey Fred, did you save that posting about restoring filesystems? More importantly, did you print it out?
  50. OH, SHIT! (as they scrabble at the keyboard for ^c).
  51. The sprinkler system isn't supposed to leak is it?
  52. It is only a minor upgrade, the system should be back up in a few hours. ( This is said on a Monday afternoon.)
  53. I think we can plug just one more thing in to this outlet strip with out tripping the breaker.
  54. What is all this I here about static charges destroying computers?
  55. I found this rabbit program that is supposed to test system performance and I have it running now.
  56. Ummm... Didn't you say you turned it off?
  57. The network's down, but we're working on it. Come back after diner. (Usually said at 10:00 p.m. the night before a trial deadline... )
  58. Ooops. Save your work, everyone. FAST!
  59. Boy, it's a lot easier when you know what you're doing.
  60. I hate it when that happens.
  61. You can do this patch with the system up...
  62. What happens to a Hard Disk when you drop it?
  63. The only copy of Norton Utilities was on THAT disk???
  64. Well, I've got a backup, but the only copy of the restore program was on THAT disk....
  65. What do mean by "fired"?
  66. Where did you say those backup tapes were kept?
  67. ...and if we just swap these two disc controllers like THIS...
  68. Don't do that, it'll crash the sys........ SHIT
  69. Now it's funny you should ask that, because I don't know either
  70. This won't affect what you're doing.
  71. Umm, did anyone have anything important in sys:user?
  72. Ignore the errors. It complains too much.
  73. I got these instructions off the net. I'm going to follow them exactly. Let's see if they work.
  74. I don't know if this is ethical, but...
  75. We're only going to load these three patches. The network should be back up in 15 minutes...