" Okay, let's go. I'm as ready as I'll ever be. " I emerged from my room to find a make-out session occurring in the living room. Everyone was hooked up except for Amanda who was inspecting the cabinets in the kitchen.

" Laur, what the hell have you been living on? " She looked at me.

I laughed. " Ya never know how good Cheerios are until you live off them! "

" Lauren! " Amanda stared at me seriously.

" Hehe, " I grinned. " I'm kidding. I just didn't get the chance to get to the store today. "

" Yeah, yeah. " Amanda smiled at me and called to everyone else. " Yo love birds, let's get over to Brian's! I miss my man! "

" Mm, one sec, " AJ kissed Helen a few more times.

" Now! " Amanda commanded and everyone jumped up as we laughed together.

" Yes ma'am! " Kevin saluted Amanda and we all walked out laughing. I was going to get a ride over with Sarah, Kevin, and Amanda.

*~*

Once we arrived at Brian's gate, Kevin rang the buzzer and was immediately let in at the sound of his voice.

We pulled inside and I could tell that the place was already buzzing with people. Kevin stepped inside with us behind him and Brian came running to Amanda.

" I missed you already, " he swept her off her feet literally and showered her in kisses.

I saw my friend, Kim, who worked in the studios with the guys, talking to some people. I walked over to her and started a conversation. " Hey Kim! How have you been? It's been a while! " I smiled and we hugged.

" Things are going good! " Her face was happy, but then serious. " How have you been? I heard what happened...and I'm sorry. "

" Yeah, I'm sorry too. " I sighed. " I guess fate has one screwed up way of working, though. "

" Don't worry, things will get better. They always do. " She smiled at me comfortingly.

After talking with Kim for another short while, I spotted Nick over by the food tables with a drink in his hand, talking to some other people.

I slowly made my way over towards him and saw his face change completely when he saw me headed for him. " Will you excuse me for a second? " Nick politely asked the guests and came to me.

" Lauren.."

" Nick, wait. " I sighed. " Before you say anything, I'm sorry for what I did to you today. It was rude and uncalled for on my behalf. " I stopped looking at him and averted my eyes to the floor. " Besides, you could've been hurt. "

Nick gently guided my head upwards with his hand and looked into my eyes.

I started to remember how I could stare into his eyes for hours and never lose my feelings for him, but quickly shook my head from his clasp. " I forgive you, Lauren. You didn't have anything to be sorry for. I'm the one who should be sorry. " He tried to gain my eyes one more time.

" Nick, not now. I'm not ready to forgive you for that. " I turned my head slightly.

" Won't you at least let me explain? Let's just go somewhere and talk, please? " Nick's eyes pleaded into mine.

" I just can't..." I took a step back as Nick came closer to me.

He wrapped his arm around my waist and attempted to pull me in for a kiss.

" Ya know, " I wriggled out of his grasps. " This may come as a big shock to your ego, but there is such a thing as a girl who can resist Nick Carter! " I turned away from him and walked away.

" To think, I was almost ready to actually think about forgiving him! " I silently grumbled and found myself running into Amanda.

" Lauren, someone has to say this. " She looked directly at me. " You're being a heartless bitch and you have to realize what you're doing to him! " She pointed in Nick's direction as he went out onto the dock of Brian's marina with a hurt and upset look consuming his face. After that, she sighed and let me be.

I stood there, unsure of what to do, but I knew she was right. I was heartless, and I was a bitch. Without any further thinking, I started to drink, and once I got started, I couldn't stop.

Meanwhile on the dock, Austin was trying to talk some sense into Nick. " Man, look at all those hot girls in there. You could have any one of them, and you know it! "

" I don't want any of them, Aus! " Nick opened another can of beer.

" Nick, Get over her! " Austin emphasized the word strongly.

" Her? Do you think that's all she is to me? " Nick's voice sounded hurt.

" I don't know what she is to you, but you deserve a chance to be normal again. Stop moping around like a lost puppy! "

" I'm not moping around like a lost puppy! I'm a guy, who was stupid, made stupid mistakes, and now I've lost the only girl I've truly loved. " Nick stared out into the cold bay.

" Oh come off it. What about Mandy? " Austin looked at Nick.

" Mandy was..." Nick thought for a good word. " Mandy was a fling. "

" Bull, Nick. " Austin took the can of beer from Nick. " I think you've had enough of this. It's starting to affect your judgment "

" You're not my mother, Aus. " Nick took the can back and started gulping it down.

" I may not be your mother, but I think I know when you've had enough. " Austin sat down. " You know you don't make the best decisions when you're drunk. That's how you got yourself into this whole.."

" I know! I was there myself, remember? " Nick turned around and looked Austin straight in the face. " I've been trying to forget, but every time I try, I see Lauren and I see the hurt in her eyes when I told her. "

Austin looked at his friend sincerely. " I'm sorry. I know how much she meant to you. "

" Meant? Don't you mean how much she means to me? " Nick turned to look out at the night sky again. " How do I make her forget what I've done? "

" Huh? " Austin hadn't heard Nick clearly enough.

" Nothing. Can I be alone? " Nick cleared his throat.

" Yeah, okay. I'll be inside if you need me. " Austin got up and left Nick standing out there.

*~*

I was still inside and very drunk when Austin came back inside. I winced as I glanced around the room and things started to become fuzzy. " Laur, are you okay? " Kevin eyed me suspiciously and lay his hand on my shoulder.

" I'm f--fine, why wouldn't I be? " I grinned, unaware of my own drunkenness

" Damn girl. You're drunk beyond your own belief. I think you should slow down on this, " he took the drink out of my hand.

" And get yourself into a bedroom to get some rest. " Kevin started to take me towards the stairs, but I gently pushed him away.

" No, I'm fine big bro. " I smiled and slowly walked back to the dance floor. " Hm, I feel like dancing. " I mingled my way through the crowd and started dancing with a few various guys that I had never met before.

Nick finally came back inside and looked towards the dance floor where I was talking to a guy and smiling. Nick took a deep breath. He had gotten pretty wasted too and figured this was the last time he was going to try with me.

When he approached me, the other guy went away and I looked at him, still unaware of my own disabilities.

" Hey, can we talk now? " Nick wasn't thinking about what he was saying.

Being as drunk as I was, I grabbed his hand and started dancing close to him. " If we can dance at the same time. " I shrugged my shoulders and Nick smiled.

He started whispering things in my ear that made me want to melt. " Lauren, I was looking at the stars and I started wishing. For every star there is in the sky, I wished that you would forgive me. "

Nick's arms wrapped around my waist and he started dancing extremely close to me. For the first time in a long while, I didn't push him away. Instead, I smirked and closed my eyes as Nick moved his body with mine in beat to the music. " Nick, I..."