Once I arrived at the mall, I activated my car alarm system and went into the mall to find my four friends waiting for me.

" Amanda!!! Tabby! Sarah! Helen!! " I screamed and they all came rushing at me and we showered each other with hugs and little greetings that left a few people staring at us strangely.

We turned to them for a brief second and spoke simultaneously, " WHAT?! "

The people averted their eyes and we laughed, still smiling and acting completely crazy around each other. It was hard to be without my closest friends for more than a month and I missed having them around the apartment, but they needed and wanted to be on tour with the guys. I was with them for the first week, but then I left, for obvious reasons on the part of Nick's "mistake".

" So girls, how are your sweethearts? " I spoke in a gossiping voice.

Tabitha smiled. " Howie's so sweet! I don't know what I'd do without him! " She grinned dreamily and floated around the entrance way to the mall. We hadn't actually done any shopping yet.

" Oh my..." Sarah groaned. " There she goes again. " Sarah laughed and we joined her. " But in case anyone cares, Kevin is doing good. " She grinned. " I take good care of my baby! "

Sarah was the oldest amongst us and was 24. Tabitha was 23, Amanda was 22, Helen was 20, and I was the youngest at 19. I didn't mind being the youngest because I usually got away with more.

It was odd how we became friends, but it felt like I had known them my entire life and it never really mattered that we had age differences between us.

" Well, I know you talked to Brian, so you know he's doing good! " Amanda grinned. " After all...he has been with me. " She winked at us.

" Amanda DeWint!! " I started laughing and shook my head at her.

" What? What? " She broke out in a fit of laughter as well.

Helen cut in. " I've managed to get AJ to keep a hair color for at least two weeks! Aren't you proud?! " Helen beamed and we all cracked up. " But I wanna know what's going on with you and Nick? " Helen turned to me with a slightly serious look.

The smile that I was wearing quickly faded from my face as if it was an illusion to begin with. " Nothing is going on. I refuse to give him my heart again so that he can stomp all over it. "

" Aw, Laur, " Sarah offered a hug. " I know you're upset, but honestly, it was only one mistake and he--"

" He what? He misses me, he wants me back, he's SOO sorry?!! " I hugged Sarah, but stepped back. " I'm so tired of his lies! "

" He's not lying, though! " Tabitha tried to bring some light into the subject.

" How could he not be lying? " I caused chaos once more.

" How could he be? Has he ever lied to you before? You know that he came right to you with the truth because he didn't want you to find out from anyone else. He's always been truthful to you, Lauren. " Amanda started her lecture once more.

" Truthful? I'd rather not know the truth if I knew it was gonna hurt that much. " I paused and glanced at my friends who were trying to make me forgive and forget. " Ah, Look, guys, I'm sorry. " I was upset with myself that I had put down their hopes of trying to do what was best for me.

" It's okay. " Everyone patted me on the back. " We are here for you, no matter what you decide!! " Amanda smiled. " We just kind've miss the quin-dating thing!

" We all laughed and went into the mall with a serious intent for shopping.

*~*

" AHH! I have to have this dress!! " Sarah came out of the dressing room in DEB wearing a light blue silky dress. " It's so...so...perfect!! " She twirled around in it and we all came out wearing other dresses.

" Oh wow! I like it! " Helen commented on how nice Sarah looked and twirled around in her own. " Whadda ya think? "

We all complimented each other and ended up buying the dresses that we were wearing. We were all laughing as we walked around, sharing a cinnabun that we had bought and accidentally forgot to get forks and napkins for.

We were all getting pretty messy and ran into the ladies room to wash our hands before heading back out into the mall. " Okay, now where? " Tabitha smiled when we came out.

" I have to go to THE WALL. I need to get some new cd's! " I smiled and we all headed for the wall. We all grinned when we got inside and ran for the listening stations in the back of the store.

" Anyone feel like singing? " We all grinned and I turned B*Witched up as loud as I could. We all took a part and started singing and dancing around the store.

Once again, we generated looks and after a while, the staring started to get to us, so we gently put the headphones back and ran off into various sections, looking at the music.

I silently hummed to the music playing overhead and was looking down at Limp Bizkit's new CD, when someone approached me. They were wearing a fisherman's hat pulled over their eyes and they reached for a CD next to me.

I quickly moved out of their way and let them pick it up. I went back to reading my CD, when I felt the person's hand on my arm.

" Lauren..."

" Oh no! No, you don't! " I snatched my arm back, and put the CD back onto the shelf.

" Will you just hear me out!? You won't answer my phone calls, you won't even talk to me! " Nick's voice sounded hurt, but I could tell he was trying to stay hushed.

" Well, Gee, genius, I don't WANT to talk to you! I wish I never knew you! Do I have to get a restraining order to get you to stay away from me? " I started attracting attention and I saw my friends appear from various corners of the story with worry and fear in their eyes.

Nick made an attempt to quiet me down. " Lauren, please, I don't wanna be recognized." He glanced down again.

" You don't wanna be recognized? Is that what you said, NICKOLAS GENE CARTER? Oh wait, you're a BACKSTREET BOY?!? " I saw the fear in Nick's eyes and I started to yell. " Hey Girls, LOOK! IT'S NICK FROM THE BSB! "

" Shit..." Nick mumbled underneath his breath as a few girls that turned into a mob started coming his way.

" You know what, Nick? All of these girls seem to like you, why don't you tell them what kind of boyfriend you really are and then maybe they'll reconsider. " I threw my hands up in the air as he turned to try to talk to me again. " I'm outta here. " I turned to face him as he got papers and pens shoved in his face. " Oh yah, I was serious about the restraining order too. " I walked out of THE WALL and practically ran to my car.

I didn't feel like explaining myself to anyone and I just wanted to go home and think. I knew that what I had just done was wrong. Nick was probably being torn to shreds by hundreds of little teeny boppers, but I just didn't care. Actually, I wasn't sure if I still cared and that was what scared me.

When I reached my car, I slammed the door and sat there for a second. I started to cry and I quickly wiped the tears away, realizing that if I didn't leave that parking lot then, I would never make it home.

I drove back to the apartment and dropped my bags by the door carelessly and plopped down onto the couch. I wasn't too interested in doing much else than thinking right now. I leaned my head back and shut my eyes. As I started to drift off, I remembered how everything had started.