Lois, sometimes it's apprpriate to swear. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you god? I do.........ya bastard.

Uh, hi. My name is Towel I have a Peter for you.....I mmmean my name is Peter and I'll be your nipples..Towel Boy! Ah geez.

Aw, you sweet ol' broad, I love ya!

Madam Pewterschmidt's passing has saddened us all. Yeah, it's a real tragedy...what did we get what did we get cmon big money big money no whammy no whammy STOP!

*...MY GOD THIS HOUSE IS FREAKIN SWEET...*

Diamonds: She'll pretty much have to...

Oh oh, funny sailing story. Alright, this guy's on a boat in the middle of the ocean, right, and he sees this little black dog, and let me tell you this dog's been swimming for days and he stinks like a dead otter, right.....h-h-hang on Lois. So this guy takes the dog into the vet, and the freakin vet tells him...get this...it's not a dog, it's a rat. A big, stinkin Mexican rat. True story. Hand to god, I'm telling you, a huge freakin rat, 5 times as big as that guy's steak.

Cut my eggs. Cut my milk! I can't sir. Imbecile! Freeze it, then cut it! Question me again and I'll put you on diaper detail....and I promise I won't make it easy for you!

You! Bring me the Wall Street Journal...you two, fight to the death.

Well Frasier, you're so corpulent, when you sit around the magnificently appointed Tuscan villa, you sit around the magnificently appointed Tuscan villa.

ah-mmmmm, lookin good fellas...

One..Hundred..Million..Dollars

Quahog? That one-horse town? Hey, shut up. No you shut up. No you shut up. Shut up. Well, you're the one talking. But there's no one else here. Look, everyone just shut up!.......uh, what's that?? The wind?

Now I remember why I left Newport: it changes people. You kids have lost your values, you've lost your mind, and I don't much care for Stewie's new friends...

Man, I never should have dropped Mean Joe Green's jersey...

So you're saying Jesus carved his name into this mantle 51 years BeFore he was born? Hey he's Jesus, he can do anything. And look over here, that's where the stock market crashed....aw, I'm tellin ya, you can't take a step in this house without uncovering somethng historical. Hey, could that be Harriet Tubman's secret underground railroad??

OH, they're real. And FYI, Lincoln had the jungle fever.

It doesn't matter if your family doesn't think I'm good enough for you. That's right, because all that's important is that I love you. No, because your ancestors were nothing but a bunch of pimps and whores..

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