Did you not hear me out there? Go to your room, Elroy! For forty-five minutes I was out there screaming...I know that because my damn watch is broken. I could have been killed!

Oh no, this isn't another one of those interventions, is it?? Peter, you've been wearing that giant foam cowboy hat for 8 months now.

Geez, isn't he a little young for that (potty training Stewie)? You know what happened to the Lindbergh baby: ....OH God, oh God!....alright, you call the police, I'll write the ransom note What about Amelia? She saw everything. You leave her to ME....

Yeah, I'm looking for toilet training books. Oh yes. I can help you there. "Everybody Poops" is still the standard of course... and then we have the less popular "Nobody Poops But You". Ahh. See were Catholic so ummm... Oh! so you'll want "You're a Naughty Child and That's Concentrated Evil Coming Out of the Back of You". Perfect.

Listen you, I'll use these facilities when I'm damn well ready. Until then, you shall continue to sanitize my crevace and be damn grateful for the oportunity! Starting right ..........well, not now, but soon!

I had this dream last night: did you ever see Logan's Run? .......... What about him, he's gotta be in his 50's!?

Look, I know Stacey isn't your mother, but upside-down face or not, you have to respect her. Hey, you're Tom Tucker......ouhh?!

Sex: some people do it anonymously. What kind of person might do that, you ask. Well, I'm about to find out. I just picked up a complete stranger in a hotel bar, and he's in the bathroom right now, possibly doing drugs. Watch as I have sex with this potentially dangerous man, as we take you in depth, and under cover. I never had a spanish chick before...Ole!

Meg Meg, I'm sorry, but that is a REally boring story. I haven't been this bored since that stupid drive-in movie.

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