Peter, you can take off your blindfold, we're almost there. Not yet, I don't want to ruin my brithday surprise. Then at least let me DRIVE! Lois, you know it's illegal for women to drive!

Bob's Funland and Putt Putt Golf!?! The adult in me is excitied about the prospect of fun.....but the kid in me is suicidal about what a fat bastard I'll become!

(Stephen King) Ok, for my 307th book, this couple is attacked by a...uhm....a lamp monster...OOOO! You're not even trying anymore, are you....when can I have it.

I know what you're thinking,....

Why can't I be famous like Bob...or my cousin, Kathy Griffin.

Sorry chief, seems Peter Griffin already sold his soul in 1976 for Beegees tickets, and again in 1981 for half a Malomar. Aw heck, where's a lawyer when I need one.

Oh dear, how can I say this without upsetting you....YOUR DAD IS A PIG.

Oh, those are just my birds calls....*whistle* Yeah?? Whadja want? You called me right? ...Oh, this is funny to you?! You know what a pain in the ass it is to get across town this time of day? ...Bitch.

Work of art...or container of crazy purple knock out gas?!

(Calvin Klein discovers Stewie.)

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